Mortgage not being paid, Ex refusing to Sell

makeitfolky

I've been separated for over three years divorced for a year, and both I and my ex have new partners and have moved on. We haven't yet reached a financial settlement.

My ex has been living with her new man in the marital home for the last two and a half years, and they agreed to pay the mortgage in return for me vacating the room I kept in the house. The house has five bedrooms and has been occupied by my ex, her new partner, and my 8 year old daughter (who lives with my ex for 4 days a week, me 3 days a week). In Summer 2009 they defaulted on the mortgage twice so I stepped in and paid before we had arrears. In November 2009 my ex asked to go to interest only as they were struggling to pay the mortgage, and I agreed on the condition I was given an indemnity against future payments which I received in the form of a solicitors letter in November 2009.

In December 2010 my ex rang me to say she couldn't pay the mortgage. I borrowed money from my grown up son (from a previous relationship) to pay it, and when I told my ex I had paid it, she immediately informed she would not be paying again until the house was sold.

A week later she rang me to tell me her partner had left her, and she'd lost her job. She agreed to sell the house, but on a split of 70/30 in her favour, which after various arguments I agreed to, provided it was drawn up as a clean break agreement. (Her partner seems to be back on the scene, but she is trying to keep it quiet.)

To cut a long story short, the estate agent started marketing the property, she refused access to viewings and has renegged on the deal. The mortgage hasn't been paid for 2 months, and there's no prospect of it being paid (I have my rent to pay and I live quite close to the wire these days). The house has been taken off the market.

There is around £150k equity in the house. I can't afford an expensive course of legal action (all my fluid funds went securing access to my daughter). I had a reasonable income during my marriage which I no longer have. My ex-wife contributed nothing to the mortgage or bills during our 6 year marriage or for the 4 years we were together beforehand. The house was bought on my income alone with a 40% deposit, I had from a house I bought previously

Can anyone suggest a course of action? I am dangerously close to watching everything I ever worked for go down the drain. Every compromise I make is accepted, only to be rejected days later. The mortgage is not being paid, but she is refusing to sell.

I'm at an absolute loss. My solicitor tells me I can't get a court order to force a sale until we have a financial settlement which takes at least three months from application, by which point the house will be well on the way to repossession. My credit rating, always meticulous, is now thorougly screwed.

Anyone any thought?
Cheers

welshmoneylover

There is no way would I have paid the mortgage while another partner is on the scene.

The word MUG springs to mind,

I hope someone else can give you better advice than I can.

Good luck.

BitterAndTwisted

You must progress with the financial settlement. It appears that you have no other choice. Presumably you have a home to live in but your ex-wife will not once the property is repossessed. Sounds like that will be her fault. I wonder what she will be able to afford to buy with £75k or less?

hulagirl79

I might be being a bit tough here esp as you have a daughter together but tell her you are selling the house or that you will move back in. I bet she wont like that. Hopefully the threat will be enough. I know it is probably not that simple as it would cause stress to your daughter but you have to start laying down the law to your ex. Good luck x

fannyadams

Hmmm interesting.
So lemmee see if i got this right. You have a joint mortgage with your ex on a house you don't live in... she 'said' she'd pay the mortgage but hasn't and now it's in arrears and they're going to repo the house.
I'm with previous poster, get legal advice from CAB.
from bitter and painful experience,
There's probably something like joint and several(sp?) liability on the mortgage. I got caught on that. It basically means that if the mortgage has a default and the mortgage company reposess, they can come after both of you (joint liability) or either of you (several) to get the rest of the money back that the sale of the house doesn't cover. YES that does mean that they could (theoretically) get DOUBLE the amount of money back e.g if the remaining amount on the mortgage is £28 000. the mortgage company will approach you for the whole amount AND also approach your ex for the whole amount (this is the several liability bit). I'm lead to believe if you BOTH pay up (as neither of you know what the other has done) then the mortgage company could end up with £56 000!!!

I'm sure there'll be someone else along in a bit to give you better advice

GOOD LUCK

jenhug

i'd move back in.

floss2

Have you spoken to the mortgage company at all? You may find that you are causing more problems by not contacting them & keeping them informed of the situation.

Also, push your solicitor to get on with the settlement and start getting heavy - maybe threaten to move back in as other posters have suggested.

Wilma33

Turn up with a very large suitcase. You have as much right to live there as she does.

pinkshoes

The solution is VERY simple - MOVE BACK IN! (and ASAP!)

makeitfolky

Thanks for the replys. There does seem to be a consensus forming that I should move back in. I'm reaching that conclusion as well. It's something I've not wanted to do as I have a new life in a nice village where I am well entrenched and I am getting re-married in April.

To answer some points - yes, I am a complete Mug. Well and truly acknowledged...

I have been speaking to the Mortgage company and they are well aware what is going on. My ex has done various things with the mortgage without my permission - all carrying fees - such as extending the term from 13 years to 27 years, taking payment holidays, making low payment arrangements etc. It was a struggle to even get letters notifying me of changes...

I'm going to bite the bullet and speak to my solicitor to ge things moving ASAP. It's an absolute headache, I've tried my hardest to behave decently, but my advice to anyone getting divorced would be "don't try and do it amicably!".

pinkshoes

Presuming your name is still on the house deeds, then I would just turn up and move back in, as legally you're entitled to live there, and if you're going to have to pay the mortgage, you might as well live there.

If she's changed the locks, just break in!

I'm sure she's not going to like it, but take it as a late new years resolution, and stand up for yourself! You have almost 50% custody of your daughter, so do not have to give her 70% of the equity!