Mse's Teen Queen Talia! (In CRISIS)

Teen_Princess_Talia

Hiya
I'll admit I've been lurking here for the past few weeks, mustering up the courage to post. I've seen most of you are a friendly and sane bunch, so I'm hoping for a little advice from the superior 'adults'. Apologies for the cheesy title. My Name is Talia and I'm 14 years old. I have permission from my parents to post! before any meanies jump in about that :rotfl:
Well I hope I can give you teen insights in your related ~"my teenage darling" is so maddening problems and I hope you'll offer some much needed advice to me too!
Well here's the problem. At the local public school where I attend, its quite a multicultural society but unfortunately for many of my friends its a shame the local area doesn't match. Where I live, is personally described as deprived which isn't my opinion, but if in black and white national statistics wise, its probably the worst. Not being paranoid, but I've promised not to give exact details, in case of internet weirdos
Anyway, their are 2 girls in school who are best friends, and from what I've merely observed very RACIST. They claim all 'different' people smell, foreigners stole english peoples' jobs etc along the lines of the BNP parties agenda (no offence intended if this paragraph is seen to be offensive). From what I've heard, even though I'm aware rumors aren't always true her dad is an ethnic minority cleanser. A quick google search doesn't reveal pretty results.
Again I'm saying this all muddled, but she's started to make snide remarks to my friends whenever they can. If they happen to associate with us alone, (not with each other) their perfectly friendly etc. I can't figure out which one is causing the trouble.
From my rational point of view, the correct thing would be to inform a teacher but although school has an impressive looking policy in place, its never acted upon:eek: For example a friend of mine was being bullied via email by a girl, so in response to this the girl sending abusive emails was simply said to be banned from emailing her, which one was never done and two didn't confront the issue. It did get resolved eventually......... because she moved.
School love these two girls as they bring a lot of publicity for them, and are the type who are always used for newsletters and pics etc
No one else would support this claim, as everyone seems to like them and the worse thing is to me, before I witnessed the bullying from a disclosed spot I thought they were actually pretty nice.
My friends are high flyers getting good grades etc, but have been in trouble before - and are now seen as troublemakers.
I don't know what to do?! I really don't want to tell my parents as I'll be burdening them with my troubles, when they're already under stress, I'd rather sort it myself :A Any advice please?

thorsoak

I'm sorry - but I've read your post three or four times - and I'm still trying to understand what is your problem?

Is it that two girls who are actually BNP-type racists are bullying you - or others? Do you want advice as to how to deal with it?

Do you think you could clarify the situation please? Then we can give you positive help!

Teen_Princess_Talia

thorsoak wrote: »

I'm sorry - but I've read your post three or four times - and I'm still trying to understand what is your problem?

Is it that two girls who are actually BNP-type racists are bullying you - or others? Do you want advice as to how to deal with it?

Do you think you could clarify the situation please? Then we can give you positive help!

Sorry if my post was a little confusing, I guess it reflects my state
The two girls who are actually BNP-type racists are bullying my friends, not directly but whenever they happen to be in passing, they'll make comments or sometimes go all out whenever they're bored. Although it isn't aimed at me, I know its upsetting my friends they're shy and sweet type girls, and they'd rather struggle through things and ignore them for the sake of peace. I don't want to cause too much of a big stir confrontation type thing that will alert them but I want to do something, I'm just not sure what

Teen_Princess_Talia

Hiya MSE'ers just giving this a little bump, for good reasons I assure you as I need a LOT of help on this front!

Caroline_a

I would say that you need to talk to your friends first to get their true feelings. Sometimes things can look worse to others than to the people involved. When you have spoken to your friends then they need to decide whether they are going to take this further, and I think all you can do is back them up. It isnt as if you are being bullied, so decisions must be made by them. If it became physically violent, well that's a different situation, but snide indirect comments to me sound like silly girls being catty.

[Deleted User]

I don't understand either as at the start of your post you say you have your parents permission to post but at the end you say you can't tell your parents and are asking MSE people for advice.

Personally, if what you say is true and you are 14, i would consult your parents for advice and go from there to start with, your parents know you best and would be best placed to advise you rather than a bunch of strangers. No offence intended and i hope you continue to support MSE in your adult years.

Take care.

grey_lady

Hhmm, I would say that the most sensible option would be to study your schools policy on bullying, write down details including days and times of any incidents and report them, ask what's being done to address racism and keep asking, until they act.

However it sounds like it could be ignorance? In which case maybe the school could be doing more about educating about different cultures or races.

Finally some people sadly are racist or ignorant or just plain nasty, try and support your friends in ignoring or in learning to laugh at ignorance.

Hth

heretolearn_2

Hi Talia.

I share your cynicism about school bullying policies, and to be honest, as so far it's just two silly girls making random narky comments I think that to take it further would just add fuel to the fire and make things worse.

Some teenage girls just go through a very !!!!!y phase, and yes, it is annoying that often it's the ones who apparently 'butter wouldn't melt' and adults like, it's done in a two-faced way. On their beliefs, there's not much you can do about that, but these girls will eventually learn to keep these opinions to themselves most of the time.

If it is just these two girls, and there isn't a deliberate programme of bullying against your friends, the rest of the class/school are ok, I'd advise your friends to just ignore it. Just turn their backs as these girls come near and get on with something else. Those girls are just making themselves look silly.

You could maybe go to your school and ask if they would be interested in doing something on diversity. Say that you've heard racist comments being made in school, without naming names, and BNP propoganda being repeated in corridors etc. Could the school have a visitor come to assembly to talk about these issues?

shays_mum

Oh dear! sorry to hear the probs your friend is facing & your a good friend to take such good care of her!. But op are right you need to bring it thru the school, if no success there maybe a letter to the PTA?. If possible just walk away & ignore them best you can, [STRIKE]otherwise you guys can gang up on them & beat them up outside of school (JOKING!).[/STRIKE] What are your friends thoughts on all this?

Amanda65

Teen_Princess_Talia wrote: »

. From what I've heard, even though I'm aware rumors aren't always true her dad is an ethnic minority cleanser.

I'm probably being very naive but what do you mean by this?

Teen_Princess_Talia wrote: »

. I don't know what to do?! I really don't want to tell my parents as I'll be burdening them with my troubles, when they're already under stress, I'd rather sort it myself :A Any advice please?

I too am a little confused by the comment about your parents knowing you are posting but you don't want to speak to them - what do they think you are posting about ? Personally I think this is impossible for you to deal with on your own - you need to speak either to you parents or your school counsellor / a teacher you trust or, and probably more importantly as it is them who are being targetted, your friends need to speak to an adult about it.

Teen_Princess_Talia

Caroline_a wrote: »

I would say that you need to talk to your friends first to get their true feelings. Sometimes things can look worse to others than to the people involved. When you have spoken to your friends then they need to decide whether they are going to take this further, and I think all you can do is back them up. It isnt as if you are being bullied, so decisions must be made by them. If it became physically violent, well that's a different situation, but snide indirect comments to me sound like silly girls being catty.

Hi
First of all, Thanks for the reply still on square 1 and was giving up hope
My friends are really quite cultural and not really your average teenage tantrumized youths. They're quiet, respectful and grateful which I know are the commonalised adjectives for your bog standard teenager
I know one of them suffered severe racial abuse through primary school and didn't report it until it was noticed which was at least 5 years later, Her reporting this incident didn't really overturn remarkable results so I understand her reluctance and would really like to give a push in the right direction.
Some of the things they say about people of her religion are really racist, hurtful and one sided views, and I can sometimes just feel by the way my friends are around them that the remarks offend them.
One of the slightly more open girls, did eventually tell me she found it unfair but what actually scared me more was her blatant acceptance of these things, xx