Help for a friend.

Rikki

A friend of mine and his wife have been having a bit of a rough time both financially and in their relationship.
I was hit with the bomb shell today that she has asked him to move out. A temporary break to help sort things out?
They have two young children both under 5 and can be quite a handfull.
He wants to stay in the house and try and work it out or give her space if thats what she wants. Both being under the same roof for the children. At least until after Christmas.

Their finances are very tight and they use all their overdraft each month and have credit outstanding on their car.
I know in his mind if he moves out it will all be over.

What does he have to contribute to the family home after he moves out. Bearing in mind he will have to pay rent for himself etc
I said half the mortgage and maintenence for the children. Pay the bills up to date and transfer them into her name.

Any advice, anything I can suggest to stop all this happening. It breaks my heart to see them both like this. They have always been such a great couple together.

victory

I am sure more help will come along in a minute but I just wanted to say that my brother got divorced and he gave 60% of the house proceeds to his wife so that she could buy again with a bigger deposit, he bought again with less of a down payment and a bigger mortgage.
He has to pay 20% of his wages for the kids until they are 16.
Sometimes a bit of space is not such a bad thing, absence makes the heart grow stronger and all that.
I hope they can work something out for the sake of the kids xx

Rikki

Me too.
He's such a soft touch and wants to do the right thing.
Personally I think they have alot worth fighting for. Its just the best way to go about it.

If they do split they will have to sell the house. There is not much equity though.

victory

Sometimes though you are so close to it you can't see reason anymore, that is why distance may be a good thing, it carries it's risks, leave for a while and that may become the option to leave altogether ...
My brother was at fault and he was desperate to do the right thing financially if not anything else..
They did go to a family liason meeting and thrashed out there the nitty gritty of who gets what, who cashes in the policies etc, they found it very helpful, they also worked out when my brother could see the kids and so far as everyone is keeping to their side it is working out...

Rikki

I've suggested counselling but it didn't go down well.

What worries me is if it does all go pear shape. The house is put on the market fair enough, but it the financial implications of running the house up until then.

She is a stay at home Mum and he pays for everything. If he moves out he won't be able to do this. Just his half of the mortgage and money for the children.

A_Nice_Englishman

Presumably his wife will go into benefits, in which case the CSA will decide what he has to pay. I think it will be 20% of his net weekly income.

There's a calculator here

Rikki

My concern is benifits won't pay for the mortgage not for 39 weeks.


To be honest I don't want it to come to that.

A_Nice_Englishman

According to Shelter, as a single parent whose partner has left she may get help witrh mortgage interest earlier than 39 weeks.