5yo worried about dying/death

Kaz2904

Mine went through this stage. I just explained to them that not everyone dies young (DH's Dad died when he was 8) and that lifestyles have changed a lot recently. I also explained that it was part of life because your body just can't keep going forever like an electrical appliance it would eventually wear out.

thorsoak

My lovely OH, gramps to 6 - aged from 13 to 2 months - died last month. All the children came to the funeral and all but the baby came to the woodland cemetary for the burial. The two eldest were in tears and heartbroken at the cemetary. The next day the 5 year old was talking to her 7 year old sister, saying "the doctors couldn't make Gramps better, so he's died and gone to God who will make him better and he's waiting for us in Heaven - and I 'spec Heaven's like Disney - so hes getting the passes for the rides" !!

Later on, they decided that he was also a star, and they were all out in the garden, deciding which was the new Gramps star - although they kept on picking planes!

MX5huggy

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Mine went through this stage. I just explained to them that not everyone dies young (DH's Dad died when he was 8) and that lifestyles have changed a lot recently. I also explained that it was part of life because your body just can't keep going forever like an electrical appliance it would eventually wear out.

I hope my body lasts longer than an electrical appliance!

tara747

thorsoak wrote: »

My lovely OH, gramps to 6 - aged from 13 to 2 months - died last month. All the children came to the funeral and all but the baby came to the woodland cemetary for the burial. The two eldest were in tears and heartbroken at the cemetary. The next day the 5 year old was talking to her 7 year old sister, saying "the doctors couldn't make Gramps better, so he's died and gone to God who will make him better and he's waiting for us in Heaven - and I 'spec Heaven's like Disney - so hes getting the passes for the rides" !!

Later on, they decided that he was also a star, and they were all out in the garden, deciding which was the new Gramps star - although they kept on picking planes!

What a lovey post (again) from you Thorsoak. Thank you xo

pigpen

as others have said it is very natural and normal for this fear to come about.. all you can do is allay his fears and not let them take over.

Death is a part of life.. a sad part for those left to miss the one that has gone.

I explained what different religions and cultures believed about what happens after death and let the childred thin it out for themselves.. they all seem fairly ok with that. We have had cats and bunnies and fish die, and obviously having cats we have had birds and mice and goodness know what else.. and we have lost grandparents.

fishingcinema

thorsoak wrote: »

My lovely OH, gramps to 6 - aged from 13 to 2 months - died last month. All the children came to the funeral and all but the baby came to the woodland cemetary for the burial. The two eldest were in tears and heartbroken at the cemetary. The next day the 5 year old was talking to her 7 year old sister, saying "the doctors couldn't make Gramps better, so he's died and gone to God who will make him better and he's waiting for us in Heaven - and I 'spec Heaven's like Disney - so hes getting the passes for the rides" !!

Later on, they decided that he was also a star, and they were all out in the garden, deciding which was the new Gramps star - although they kept on picking planes!

As others have said what a lovely post. wish i had read this a month ago.
My 5yr old came home upset about death a month ago as a boy in her class had lost his dad so had been off school, the teacher sat the class down and asked them not to talk or ask the boy questions about his fathers death on his return to school.

She came home very upset and said i dont want you to die mummy, i said to her i am not whatever made you say that, she repeated what the teacher had said and that the teacher had also said that everybody dies eventualy. I must admit i was quite upset by this as she is a very sensitive girl and even me saying that it is not going to happen for a very very very x100 long time did not help her in the slightest.

I would not have minded if the school had been a little better in telling the children but they had already sent a letter home in the book bags telling us of what had happened so i think they should have asked the parents to speak to there children and ask them not to question the boy in her class.

The little boy is unfortunatly not from a very loving family and knows way too much for a boy his age domestic violence towards his mum, goes to the pub with his mum to play in the garden while she drinks all hours, is allowed out on his own with his little brother 10 mins away from his home while his mum sleeps. dad was a drinker and drug abuser but still saw his son, social services have been involved, he came into school the next day telling all the other kids that his dad was dead.

I would never in a million years wish this on anyone let alone a little boy, but just wish the school had dealt with it a little better.

FreeBee00

I don't think many people know how to approach the death subject with little kids. It is hard to decipher what is too much and too little when talking about it. Are you a religious family? Sometimes that makes explanations easier and kids can comprehend the spiritual much easier than then the physical aspects of death. When they don't know or understand what really happens it makes them curious and scared. I think that this is normal. Just try to not feed in to his worries or else he may never get over them!

kerri_gt

Some really interesting posts on here. I just wanted to add this link, it's a book called The Tenth Good Thing About Barney

http://www.amazon.com/Tenth-Good-Thing-About-Barney/dp/0689712030

You can read the synopsis for yourself but it's a lovely book. A friend of my mum bought it for me when my dad passed away when I was 10, I still have the book and cherish it.

meritaten

If he brings up death and dying - dont change the subject! ask him what he thinks death is - and go from there -. some kids are reassured by thinking people, animals etc go on to a better place. but listen to HIM. its bothering him and changing the subject isnt HELPING is it?

Sublime_2

My daughter asked a lot of questions about this when she was 4. We told her when people/animals die, they go to rest, and are buried, but their spirit goes to heaven. Its kind of tricky explaining to a 4/5 year old, but after much questioning dwelling on the subject for a few weeks she was happy. There were many, many questions though.

I can't remember what set it off, (could have been her grandmothers cat) but it was something that she was curious about, and wanted to know.