I need to moan about my doughter's school.

aeuerby

I just need a moan and get it off my chest.

The last day before half term my daughter came out of school distraught. She was sobbing so much it took 3 attempts to find out what had happened.

She had been told off for having blackcurrent juice in her flask that they have in the classroom. They are only supposed to have water.

Now way back in September when the letter came out informing us water was fine to bring to school her teacher told the class that juice was also ok. So juice it was as my daughter hates water and always has.

So I went back to the teacher to be told that the rule is water only (to cut a long story short) She denied having ever said that juice was ok.

Anyway, we get home daughter still sobbing (she has never been told off before) she told us the full story.

They were told to empty out their flasks (never been done before) it was discovered the contents of Shannon's flask, kids go running and tell the teacher, teacher shouts very loudly at Shannon in front of the whole class. A friend of Shannons' confirmed that if she had been shouted at like that she would have been in tears as well - this comment was totally unprompted.

I was so angry. Firstly that Shannon was made to empty out a flask she brings home everyday. Secondly that she was shouted at in front of the whole class for her what amounts to her first offence (we fill the flask anyway not shannon so really we should have been shouted at!). Thirdly that the teacher in question denies she has ever said juice is ok (I have spoken to another child and she has confirmed that they were told this)

My husband has been to see the head today who not surprisingly backed his teacher and basically told him them's the rules & Shannon being shouted at in that way is not the thing his teacher would normally do. We didn't really expect any different but it's still annoying that we know what was said but have no way of proving it.

Anyway thanks for reading moan over. I feel better now!!.

Angela.

elona

Have you thought of putting something in writing accepting that you may have been in error but that it was an honest mistake or misunderstanding.

You accept that it was not what the school wanted but that you are very concerned at so young a child being shouted at and humiliated in front of her peers.

How are you suppose to bring up a polite well behaved child when an adult behaves like this.

Obviously you will want to put your own spin on the letter but make it clear you are objecting to the lack of self control exhibited by the teacher.

I thought Bullying was supposed to be something the teachers stopped - not something that they indulged in themselves.

If you write a letter then it should be on record and will be seen when the school is inspected - when it is - make sure you all mention your concerns.

bylromarha

Sounds to me like the teacher was having an off day. The fact that they were made to empty their flasks anyway says to me that a large minority of the kids in the class were messing about with their flasks, so the teacher asked them to empty them to stop that problem happening.

However the potential lying of the teacher and shouting at a kid who never gets shouted at tells me it was a bad day! When you have a bad day in an office you're sarcastic to collegues, blank work mates etc etc etc. You don't have this option in a classroom...the children are constantly in your face, they seem to sense when you are in a bad mood!!!! Plus if it was nearly time for holidays, teacher and class would be tired and grumpy. You need the patience of a saint to not yell in these situations and you can't always keep your cool! And a headteacher will always back their teachers on these sorts of issues publicly, but more will be going on behind the scenes I imagine.

Not trying to excuse the teachers behaviour as I disagree with the lying and yelling, but it seems Shannon bore the brunt of an adult in a bad mood...I know I've grumped at the wrong person when I've been in a bad mood and i guess I'm not the only one! Seems like Shannon's teacher did too...I'd try to put the incident down as a lesson in human nature for Shannon and investigate the bottled water "with a hint of...." water in all senses of the word, but not juice in any way!!!!!

And it's very unlikely that an inspection team will want to see your letter if you do decide to write one...you do however have the opportunity to go to a parents meeting run by the inspection team to voice your concerns/praise about any issues to do with the school.

Spendless

My own son started reception in September. I wasn't aware he could take a drinks flask in with him with water in it till he told me (he'd been off with chickenpox which is why i didn't know).

He said that he was only allowed water and accepts it(which i think is good for him cos he can be a pain in neck about drinking it at home) in conversation with another mum she is sending her daughter in with juice (cos she doesn't like water) i didn't think that was very good as it was going against what the school has said.

I accept you haven't intentionally gone behind schools back aeurbery. When you first got informed about the taking drinks bottles in did you receive a letter about it?

I wonder why they made the children empty the bottles out? Perhaps they had had a child 'tell' on another (which is what i mentioned to my friend could happen) so wanted to check for themselves.

I think it was handled badly, they could have had a quiet word with you, or sent a letter home to each child clairfying that it was water only.

aeuerby

We got a letter home in September stating that they could take bottles of water. I knew this already as my son had already been through the school.

When I commented that Shannon could take water she replied that her teacher had clearly told her class that juice was fine also. This has been backed up by other children in her class. So as far as I'm concerned there has been no misunderstanding. Shannon was told by her teacher juice is fine. Her teacher has forgotten.

The "flavoured with..." water is definately an option we will be looking into.

My main annoyance is how this teacher handled the situation. She was totally out of order. As the head has been informed of this maybe he will have a quiet word with her (unlike when she shouted at Shannon!!!)

I appreciate that teachers can have a tough time with some of the children of today. They don't really have any influence over alot of the more troublesome children's behaviour and are limited in what actions they can take to disipline, BUT being tired/stressed/fed up/pre-menstrual/having an off day or whaterer is no excuse for doing what she did.

When adults are having a rough day and snap at other adults then at least we can understand why. For a child to be confronted with this behaviour is confusing and will possibly have trouble understanding it.

Anyway we have registered our distress with the head and I think will leave it at that. Thanks for all your replies.

Angela.

mini

I think the teacher should apologise to your daughter, if she hasn't been told off before she must have been mortified, if she could just say I am sorry I shouted but children need to just keep water in their flasks as it is much better for their bodies & teeth, that would be my concern as a parent with juice readily available, I can understand why they say just water but for the teacher to lie must have infuriated you, I wish teachers would realise the amount of trust you need to have in them to send your children into their care each day.


If you want to put it in writing ask for a written response that should allow for no further misunderstanding/lies. I have found in my dealings with my daughters school the head answers in writing more laong the lines of what he should be saying but if I speak to him he spouts allsorts.

mini

mini

My earlier post crossed with yours, the flavoured water is a great adea, Asda do a strawberry & vanilla one which is lovely, I think that may be a sparkling one though if it needs to go in a flask it needs to be flat, I have seen fruits of the forest still water in individual bottles in Tesco.

mini

tightgit_2

I could tell you the most horrendous stories of things that have happened to our children and other kids in their primary school. Things like a teacher that threatened to hit a 7 year old boy, who is a well behaved kid. My own son was shouted at by the headteacher in front of his own class for playing in the wrong part of the play ground, he was only six. A boy deliberately kicked him in the face the other week and was hardly punished at all even though a teacher had seen it happen and yet when my son was 4 1/2 the headteacher had him in to tell him off for pushing a little girl. I don't mind my son's being told off as long as they treat all the kids fairly but they don't.
I could go on about this for ages there have been so many incidents.
Things are so bad that when ever I have a meeting with them now I secrectly record them so that they cannot deny what they have said later.

aeuerby

tightgit wrote:

I don't mind my son's being told off as long as they treat all the kids fairly but they don't.

I completly agree with you on that. It also has to be justified.
It's awful that you now have to record your meetings. Thankfully we're not at that stage - yet!!!

I have witnessed how the teacher treats the known trouble makers in her class and I am not impressed.
It makes it more annoying that Shannon gets blasted out for such a minor thing (anyway it's me that fills up the flask not Shannon) and these troublemakers are seen by the other children to get away with everything. Not too fair!.

hilstep2000

I am a Teaching Assistant, and our kids are only allowed water, if we find juice, we empty it out, refill with water, and quietly inform the parent after school.
However, I feel the teacher was having a bad day too, you don't realise how awful some of them can be if you don't work with them!!
A lot of parents drop off their kids at 8.00am for Breakfast club, leave them with us all day, then pick them up at 6pm from After School Club. We seem to be unpaid childminders! Indeed we have the kids for longer than the parents.

Yes, Shannon's teacher was in the wrong, but come and do our job first, then you can complain!

jockettuk

my 10 yr old daughter had a cough that was more iritating than anything else, she had been off for 2 days with it and in everything else she was ok ,, doctor advised that she suck on cough sweets or something similar to keep throat moist therefore not keep coughing and annoying everyone else.. sent a letter in telling her teacher what the doctor said and she then took the sweets off my daughter.. daughter came out of school upset and distressed and in a lot more discomfort than she was in at the start of the day. i kept her of school for the rest of the week (2 days) and when she went into school on the monday so did i.. Sent a letter to the head as if its in writing then its recorded at school as a complaint told them that from now on i will keep my daughter off even if she sneezed more than once. he likes to try and keep as many children at school as possible as it makes him look good on paper.. turns out that the teacher had taken them off her but should have told my daughter that if she needed one she could ask. only thing was that she forgot to inform my daughter, told them they have to review there procedures to let parents know what is and isnt acceptable .. also told him that from now on everything i send in will be written down that way if i get a reply then i have proof of what is being said..