I spend on crap and it has to stop

tallyhoh

Never used my overdraft in my life, its still borrowing, authorised or otherwise - dont be fooled.

Something that works for me if I ever get tempted to spend on rubbish or fripperies, is to work out how long you have to work to pay for it.

For example on minimum wage 1 top at £25 would cost over 4 hours work. £72 would be over 12 hours work! do the maths.

Good Luck

ab7167

kaz0705 wrote: »

This might sound a bit obvious but you say one of the reasons you find it easy to overspend is because you have credit available... Erm, could you not just ask the bank to lower your overdraft and reduce your credit limit? I know it's easy to tell yourself that you might need it 'in an emergency' but as your joint finances are under control, how big would an emergency need to be to need this?

Instead, could you both put a wee bit more into the joint to cover such emergencies?

If the credit isnt available, you won't be able to overspend!

Good luck!

This is very true and will attend to it first thing on Monday. Ironically, I opened my nationwide account when we bought this house as you got a better rate with a linked Flex account. I asked for a £250 o/d facility, which is what I'd had at Lloyds, computer said £2250! I then said I didn't want that much credit and the lass said I had to accept it to open the account and get the better mortgage rate - I would them have to phone up and be credit checked again in a months time to change the limit - even to reduce it! Of course, as we were then moving house, I failed the credit check and it never got reduced... Time to deal with that on monday :-) credit card has never gone over £2k, even when house renovating, so I guess I should reduce it to this as well. Might focus my mind a little bit.

Took the kids swimming this morning, paid cash from my wallet instead of card, pocketed the £1 locker deposit return and took a couple of bags of crisps with me from the cupboard rather than buying stuff there. And we walked there and back. It's only a mile, and DD walked both ways with no moaning at all! I know the petrol saved is minimal, but it feels like a good start.

Have made bread so I definitely will have enough for sandwiches and baked impossible pie so I can take snacks to work.

I know it can't all go this smoothly, and I need to stay focused, but am feeling more relaxed now...

ceejaydee23

Well done you! You say your daughter likes picnics, theres still nothing wrong with having an indoors picnic! me n my daughter still do those and shes 9 now!

Mrs_Arcanum

As you seem to spend with a card most of the time. Perhaps you should take a sensible amount of money in cash each week and leave your cards at home. You will soon notice how fast money disappears if the cash is all you have.

ab7167

:rotfl:

Mrs_Arcanum wrote: »

As you seem to spend with a card most of the time. Perhaps you should take a sensible amount of money in cash each week and leave your cards at home. You will soon notice how fast money disappears if the cash is all you have.

I think that actually I shouldn't need money on the days I work if I take packup. I will always have the joint account card - the one I'm disciplined with - for petrol and family food shopping, it's also my AA membership card as we have that through the bank. So if I leave my personal cards at home I've immediately cut my potential to spend by nearly half. Then weekends are OK cos OH is around. Just Mondays and Fridays to control.

Clarie_2

ab7167 wrote: »

I have considered counselling, but there at many logistical and financial hurdles to overcome with childcare etc. Pre children, I did have a 6 week course of CBT and it did help a lot. I think I maybe need to talk to my GP again. My youngest child is just 1, and I did have a bad go with PND when he was 4-8 months old. Being back at work helps, but I am definitely predisposed to being a bit blue.

If CBT helped before I would definitely recommend a trip to your GP. By now everywhere in UK should have an IAPT service, which you can access through your GP, and they can offer you free CBT. They also offer 'Guided Self Help' - which is basically CBT over the phone - very handy for overcoming all the logistical hurdles! :cool:

Clarie

Mozette

ab7167 wrote: »

We have a joint account and each month we both pay money into this for bills, petrol, food etc What's left in my personal account is mine to spend as I wish, and the same for OH.

I'm disciplined with this joint money as it's not all mine - but can't seem to bring the same to bear on the money I have sole control over

Clearely you are a strong minded person, so make the decision to have control over what you spend and be good with money; stop lying to yourself. You recognise the problem so do something about it. Simple as.

ab7167

Well, overdraft limit reduced to £500. You can do it online and it went through straight away. Was planning on reducing it by £100 per month as soon as I get paid so it won't show as available credit. Also spoke to my friend who I normally meet up with on Mondays and said I was a bit short for end of the month, so instead of our usual trip to the soft play (£20 after food etc) we are going to walk her dog with the kids :-) free! I forsee a lot of Monday morning dog walking in the future! Better for us, kids, dog and bank balance. Leftover from tea tonight will be lunch tomorrow.

Having done the debt thing before, I'm now wondering if my last LBM was a real one - doing it for me, rather than doing because OH wanted to buy a house... Feels more personal this time..

BFM

ab7167 wrote: »

Well, overdraft limit reduced to £500. You can do it online and it went through straight away. Was planning on reducing it by £100 per month as soon as I get paid so it won't show as available credit. Also spoke to my friend who I normally meet up with on Mondays and said I was a bit short for end of the month, so instead of our usual trip to the soft play (£20 after food etc) we are going to walk her dog with the kids :-) free! I forsee a lot of Monday morning dog walking in the future! Better for us, kids, dog and bank balance. Leftover from tea tonight will be lunch tomorrow.

Having done the debt thing before, I'm now wondering if my last LBM was a real one - doing it for me, rather than doing because OH wanted to buy a house... Feels more personal this time..

genius. win win win. and getting your friends on side and working with you to come up with £ free alternatives - who doesn't want to come up with ways to spend less but still have as much fun.

we recently moved out to the country and trips to soft play have now been trumped with feeding uneaten bread to the ducks and going for a walk. even before saving the £££ it just feels so much more wholesome.

and also batch cooking - takes only marginally more time to make 3 shepherds pie or lasagne or whatever, should cost less if you bulk buy the ingredients and costs 1/3 of the gas/leccy to cook each one. my wife cooks during the week (SAHM) but i do a big batch every three weeks or so - huge vat of bolognese type sauce to make 2 each of lasagne, cottage pie, pasta sauce and chili made 8 family meals for around £25 yesterday and it felt really really good seeing it all laid out while 7/8ths of it was cooling down before going in fridge / freezer.

when i get home from a tough day at work plus commute and am too tired to be a proper husband - barely able to sit and veg out in front of the telly, knowing that I at least cooked the dinner means that I helped lighten the load a little.

ab7167

First day at work, aiming to spend no money. I have porridge, I have a packup. I will not go to Tesco. Or to the sandwich man. I have left my cards at home and have £2.50 in case of emergencies. I guess this gets easier each day? Also, I remembered that my main route to work was closed today and did the detour rather than going on autopilot :-)