I spend on crap and it has to stop

ab7167

I have a relatively trivial debt problem compared to some, but it's not getting better. I'm managing to maintain enough discipline to prevent a crash - but am experiencing a slow, slight overspend each month that it making me worry more and more. We as a couple, don't have a problem, joint account is always in credit, all bills paid etc. However, my personal spending money is not so good. I'm overspending by about £100 a month and now have to pull it back to repay about £500 in a few months. I don't even know what it is spent on. Problem is that I have access to a large overdraft and a credit card with a large balance, so
I generally don't think about what I spend as I know there will be no charges, just a bit of interest.

Thing is, I'm in charge of our joint finances - and I watch them like a hawk! Spreadsheets, bank statement checking - the lot. I almost feel slightly schizophrenic as I seem unable to apply this to my sole account.

I need a large kick up my susbstantial backside (another thing I find hard to deal with - and a decent amount of my overspend is on rubbish junk food when out), and I was hoping you lovely people may take pity on me, even though on paper I should be relatively affluent. Can't tell OH, we've been there before and he doesn't really understand the concept of debt... We have a mortgage and a car loan, but beyond that he thinks everything is rosy. Cos I maintain the joint finances well, I know he assumes my personal ones are also. I mentioned credit card interest the other day and he said "but you don't pay interest do you, the card is paid off every month". And I hmmmm'd and agreed.

I am so very cross with myself for doing this again. Have been in denial for about a year now, slipping, pulling it back with a birthday or some freelance work - but now it has to stop. I know what I have to do, but I need help.

destroyerofdebt2011

Go and find a cheap diary or find one out the draw from xmas im sure most of us get gifted at least one these days. and start writting down everything u spend on, even that 1.99 breakfast mc muffin on the day after that hangover and then review where u have spent the money after a month.

If your like me u'll be so shocked ull walk past those fast food places and the newsagents and be detirmed to ensure u got home brought goodies for work etc at a fraction of the cost.

Hope this helps

x

ceejaydee23

to some extent I dont understand how as you say you watch the household bills like a hawk, but allow yourself this extra. Does this extra not come out of the "joint money pot" OR prohaps after looking at your joint finances and seeing "whats left" you can then split it down the middle and give yourself a monthly/weekly "pocket money expenditure" type thing. and use CASH not cards! Cards are soo hard to keep track of what your spending on, I know from experience! I now have 2 maxed out cards, currently just gone into a repayment plan, cos we couldnt even afford minimum payments due to more important debts like Rent arrears that cropped up (not entirely through our own fault)

ab7167

We have a joint account and each month we both pay money into this for bills, petrol, food etc What's left in my personal account is mine to spend as I wish, and the same for OH.

I'm disciplined with this joint money as it's not all mine - but can't seem to bring the same to bear on the money I have sole control over

ab7167

Oh, and I'm extremely good at lying to myself about how bad it is.

ceejaydee23

This is now something me and the other half are going to be doing, although whats left over is now going to pay off arrears we have accumulated, although at the moment the account isnt joint.

Are you using cards alot? As that could be why, I have found using cash helps wonders! you can track it far more easily! Especially if you do a diary as someone else suggested! even if it was only for 2 weeks - a month you would be really surprised!

ab7167 wrote: »

We have a joint account and each month we both pay money into this for bills, petrol, food etc What's left in my personal account is mine to spend as I wish, and the same for OH.

I'm disciplined with this joint money as it's not all mine - but can't seem to bring the same to bear on the money I have sole control over

nekosuki

A spending diary is a great idea. You might see patterns emerging which you can then start to plan for.

eg: buying a coffee in the morning on the way to work and a magazine to go along with it and maybe a choccie bar or a biscuit.


If you didn't want to stop this, you could do it a bit savvier - take a cup of coffee in a thermos mug from home, get your magazine on annual subscription (cheaper) and delivered to your home means you don't go into the shop and be tempted to buy choc/biccies etc.

CH27

Use cash only for your personal spending.
That way if you don't have it, you can't spend it.

BOGOF_Queen

As others have said, keep a spending diary. I started doing this a couple of years ago and EVERTHING I buy is recorded on my spreadsheet. I keep a spreadsheet for each month and at the end of the month put the totals in my yearly summary sheet so I can see how much a year I am spending on food, fuel etc. So,as soon as I get back to the office (I don't shop at the weekends) I record anything I have bought in my lunch hour. I have a column for food - tend to pop to the supermarket most days - check my receipt and enter the amount. If I have bought, say a birthday card and a stamp, that gets recorded in a column headed "other spends" and I can see from my spending, that my weakness is buying gardening related stuff! You will see a pattern emerge and if your weakness is that coffee on the way to work, or the sandwich you buy for lunch, you will be horrified how much that it is costing you a month. If it is a packet of crisps every day, or a bar of chocolate, or even a packet of fags (if you smoke) think how much better off you would be each month if you knocked the vice on the head. Once you know how muc each month it is costing you, pehaps transfer this amount to a savings account AS SOON as you get paid, therefore this money has already gone from your current account and you are less likely to fritter it away on rubbish - hope this helps - certainly been an eye opener for me since I have been monitoring my spending habits.

PudseyDB

What else are you spending on? Surely the overspend of £100 (£25 a week) can't be all on junk food?

ceejaydee23

My other half takes his cuppa in the morning in his travel mug!

nekosuki wrote: »

A spending diary is a great idea. You might see patterns emerging which you can then start to plan for.

eg: buying a coffee in the morning on the way to work and a magazine to go along with it and maybe a choccie bar or a biscuit.


If you didn't want to stop this, you could do it a bit savvier - take a cup of coffee in a thermos mug from home, get your magazine on annual subscription (cheaper) and delivered to your home means you don't go into the shop and be tempted to buy choc/biccies etc.