To use a dummy or not?

happy35

DS had a dummy as he was a whingey baby and had one from a few days old, he stopped having a dummy at about 18 months old and there was never any fuss.

I really dont like thumb sucking and that was the reason that I gave him a dummy, it is a personal thing but I find it really irritating niece used to do this and it got on my nerves at least with a dummy you can take it off them.

I used to make DS take dummy out to speak as I used to tell him I couldnt hear him, to be honest he didn't use it that much and used to spit it out as soon as he fell asleep. Niece is 17 now and apparently still sucks her thumb when asleep and her mother now wishes she had given her a dummy, she also sucks her thumb when asleep at age 40

It is a parents choice whether or not to use a dummy in the same way as deciding whether to bottle or breast feed, it is what suits you and your family

Tigsteroonie

We started out very anti-dummy, even turning down NICU's suggestion of giving one to encourage sucking. With hindsight, that might have helped establish breastfeeding, but never mind! After a month of being home, we let him have a dummy at night-time when unsettled, and that has expanded to always having one on hand for when he whinges - not the way it should be, we know. So now we are back to trying to keep dummies purely for unsettledness at sleep/nap time.

JC9297

I think what comes across in lots of posts is that the reason most people don't want to use a dummy, (other than how they look), is that they will be judged as a failure in some way for having to resort to a dummy to settle their child. It is yet another area of raising children that has become competitive, we are even having thumb v dummy arguments now. There is an almost superior tone to some people's comments when they are saying they never gave their babies a dummy.
Also funny how everyone insists on calling them dummies even though for many years now (at least since my 18 yo was born) they have been sold as soothers.

rachbc

OP I know you are concerned for your daughter but you are constantly questioning her decisions on this forum (wipes, dummies, feeding), and I can't help but wonder if this lack of faith in her parenting style is being transmitted irl too - and if it is it certainly won't be helping your poor dd who it seems is not having the easiest time atm.

My only advise to you would be to unconditionally support your dd whatever her decision.

carpedieme

I dont know what the problem with using dummies is:p I have three children and they all had dummies just for sleeping or too settle them, I took them away at about eighteen months old with no trouble at all, go with your gut instincts and what suits you, you're the one looking after your baby:j

JBD

My children all had dummies as well. It helped them all to sleep well and to be contented. I never worried about what other people thought.

Caroline73_2

I hated dummies so didn't give one to my eldest. He was a finger sucker. He was still finger sucking at 7 yrs and only stopped when his front teeth got wobbly. I could control his finger sucking in the day but because sucked them all night. His now 12 and having lots of orthodontic work as his teeth and jaw are not aligned properly because of the persistent fingers in mouth.

When youngest was born he started sucking his fingers too. So I gave him a dummy straight away. The majority of children who get used to dummies or fingers will not swap to other. This worked for him, he was a very sucky baby. He only had it for going to sleep and once he was asleep I took it out. He was weaned off by about 18 months to 2 years. He probably only had it in for an hour a day, whereas the eldest could suck his fingers all night. I probably would.have weaned him.sooner but he had silent reflux, until he was 3 and the sucking helped with that.

I think dummies, like so many things, have their benefits but they are abused by parents to keep children quiet.

delain

I've been lucky and never needed to use them with any of mine.

Soothers do have their place, at bedtime. I'd never judge anyone for that, if it helps your baby sleep it's all good.

What does annoy me is when you see 3 year olds running round outside with one sticking out of their face and they've always got it. There's no need for that, it's just lazy!

lallysmum

MrsE wrote: »

My DD had pyloric stenosis & had a stomach op at 3 months.
I gave her a dummy then, because even though she wasn't drinking milk, she needed to suck.
:

Ds had PS too.. was operated on at 9 days though. GOSH doctors recommended that I gave him a dummy as he was fed intravenously for 5 days until he was strong enough for the op. He needed to suck as he was starving, poor boy, and a dummy was the best option.

He kept the dummy, nights only, until he was 2 and gave them up very easily. Never went out with them, and if he ever did have them during the day, I'd take them out when he tried to speak.

The worst for us was the comfort dummy.. never took to a blanket/teddy, but had to have 5 dummys to sleep - 2 in each hand and one in the mouth. Nightmare.

The number of times my friend and I discussed creating some sort of dummy catching ring for around the cot so there were no more 3am crawls under the cot to find the damn things. We'd have made a fortune on Dragon's Den :rotfl:

Threebabes

All 3 of mine had dummys. All gave them up without much of a fuss either. To us they were a god send, take my hat off to people who manage without them.