To use a dummy or not?

Apricot

skintchick wrote: »

They can also affect jaw development and speech development,

Do you have any articles regarding this please? Not so much the speech development but the jaw development I haven't heard.

Nicki

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

The advantage of dummies other thumbs are that 1. You can sterilise a dummy. 2. Dummies can't be stuffed up noses chasing bogies. 3. Dummies can be taken away or restricted to bedtime.

But the advantage of thumbs over dummies are 1 you don't drop a thumb on a dirty floor. 2 parents don't lick or suck a thumb to "sterilize" it. 3 you can't forget to bring a thumb with you. 4 babies don't wake in the night screaming they've lost their thumb. 5 you can't shut a child up by shoving their thumb in their mouth, it's always their choice whether to self soothe in this way. 6 you can't stimulate milk supply by sucking on a dummy (or a thumb for that matter, but little babies soothe on the breast, most don't find their thumbs as early as 10 days). 7 you won't feel as embarrassed if your child is caught sucking a thumb in nursery as if he comes out and asks for a dummy. 8 you don't have to spend hours on ebay sourcing discontinued thumbs as those are the only ones your child likes. 9 other children won't pop your child's thumb in their mouth or fight them for it. Need I go on....

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

1. That's why dummy clips are made.
2. Wouldn't have dreamed of doing that. How sterile is a thumb?
3. Which means they get used to not always having something to stuff in their mouths - you can't leave a thumb at home because you have decided it is time they began to reduce useage.
4. Yes, they do. And it's easier to give them a dummy than try and convince a screaming baby that the thing they want is on the far corner of their left hand.
5. They spit dummies out if they don't want them. It's always their choice if they want it.
6. Never needed to stimulate milk supply. It was there due to the constant comfort sucking.
7. Speak for yourself.
8. What? Do people do this?
9. Never seen that, personally, but perhaps that's because they didn't have dummies when at playgroup. Please see number 3.

mum2twinsx2

durham_girl wrote: »

My son has a dummy, but it's only used when he's going to sleep. He was first given one while in the neonatal unit to soothe and keep his suck reflex. So to those who are being judgmental, they're not ornamental and can be very helpful.

same my daughters both had them in Neonatal intensive care unit to encourage a a suck reflex as they were tube fed for 4weeks.
They only had them by night at 6 months, and gave them up pretty much themselves at a year old.

My two boys didnt take to dummies.
According to Fsid Babyzone safety leaflet it says dummies reduce cot death, so i don`t really understand why people are so anti dummies.

durham_girl

1 But it's ok to put a a dirty thumb in their mouth?
2 Who does this?
3 But you can choose not to take/use a dummy. You can only use the dummy for sleeping etc, try telling a baby they can only suck their thumb when going to sleep.
4 Most babies don't know their hands are their own until some weeks have passed so this argument doesn't wash.
5 Ha, my son simply won't open his mouth if he doesn't want a dummy and as soon as he no onger needs it he spits it out.
6 Not everyone breast feeds.
7 Who cares what the militant anti dummyists think?
8 In my experience, my son will have whichever dummy is given to him and he has 2 different shaped ones.
9 My son isn't this old so can't comment

pigpen

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

1. That's why dummy clips are made. DS1 clipped his to his willy!! :eek:
2. Wouldn't have dreamed of doing that. How sterile is a thumb? I never sterilised anything and encouraged mud pie making
3. Which means they get used to not always having something to stuff in their mouths - you can't leave a thumb at home because you have decided it is time they began to reduce useage. My sisters were mortifying and would suck thumbs in public in their late teens!! and my friend still does at 36!!
4. Yes, they do. And it's easier to give them a dummy than try and convince a screaming baby that the thing they want is on the far corner of their left hand. and if they have a blankie/fave toy you can NEVER find it!
5. They spit dummies out if they don't want them. It's always their choice if they want it. I found the thumb suckers sucked 10 times more and had far more dental issues as they didn't ever take them out, by a few weeks they could find them in their sleep..
6. Never needed to stimulate milk supply. It was there due to the constant comfort sucking. how can sucking anything but the breast stimulate milk supply? What a bizarre concept!
7. Speak for yourself. My youngest had her dummy coming out of nursery.. and she was one of the oldest.. if it made her happy I didn't care.. at least it wasn't chocolate or chips or other foody crap
8. What? Do people do this? .. my sister did.. my niece had terrible tongue tie and could only suck one type of dummy.
9. Never seen that, personally, but perhaps that's because they didn't have dummies when at playgroup. Please see number 3.

My sister had all her friends 'taste her thumb' when she was at school because it tasted delicious'... This same sister sucked her hand in utero to the point she had a 'growth' on the side of her hand when she was born which the dr's thought was an extra digit.. it was just swelling which went down after a few days of her realising she could actually suck her thumb.

They are now 28 and 23 and both still suck their thumbs.. not many still have dummies at that age.. and the 23 y/o and my 36 year old friend.. still have their 'snuggy' as well

I am of the opinion... if it helps... go with it.. none of us want an unhappy child and there are so many plus and minus points for dummies and thumb sucking noone is in the wrong we just choose to do things differently.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I really am beginning to worry about your DS1, Piggers!


:rotfl:

coolcait

balletshoes wrote: »

your daughter doesn't want to use one, so really thats the decision made .

And that's pretty much the bottom line.

I could add my own views on dummies versus thumbs versus nothing but the breast. I could share my own experiences of the approach I took with my children; the approach my siblings, cousins and friends have taken with their children; the approach taken by my mum, my aunts and my grannies with their children. I can even throw in a few stories about the approach taken in special care units for very premature children.

But none of that should have any real relevance to the decision which another woman has taken about the way she wants to bring up her own baby.

I have to admit that I feel extremely sorry for your daughter, OP. She seems to be surrounded by people who - however well-meaning they may be - are bombarding her with advice whether she wants it or not. Conflicting advice at that.

Presumably, if she wanted all of these other views she would ask for them - either in person, or on the internet.

Perhaps it's time for everyone else to take a step back on the "advice" front, and concentrate on giving her the time, space and support ( including practical support - like cleaning, cooking, and controlling visitor access) to allow her and her baby to find the right way for them.

MrsE_2

Salz wrote: »

I was also advised by midwives in the hospital to get a dummy for my daughter - she was in special care and very small, and they said it would help her sucking reflex. She never had it in the day after the age of 2, and was rid of it completely by 3.

My DD had pyloric stenosis & had a stomach op at 3 months.
I gave her a dummy then, because even though she wasn't drinking milk, she needed to suck.

After a little while she was mobile enough to suck her thumb & as soon as she discovered her thumb she spat her dummy out in disgust.

I wish she had carried on with the dummy, as I spent years & years trying to get her to stop sucking her thumb. She's 23 & still dies it when sleeping sometimes:eek:

shellsuit

My 2 eldest didn't have dummies, they didn't suck their thumbs either.

The little man (21 months) has a dummy and has done since the off. He can't get to sleep without one now and if he wakes up in the night and he can't find it, well he sure lets us know!

If your daughter wants to use one, then she should go right ahead and use one, but if she doesn't then that's her choice (and Daddy's!) too.