How to Get Through The Tough Times The Old Style Way.

the_cat

zarazara wrote: »

Well, I've just been crying. DH ,who works shifts wanted a lie in this morning, so I went out to feed the animals and muck out. The problem is that I cant handle the colts onmy own and they need more familiarisation with feet being picked out, grooming and leading. The horsey folk among you will understand this. Now, DH isnt a horseman by any stretch of the imagination, but hes good at holding them whilst I groom and he sort of mucks out and will put hay in the racks. This morning it all went terribly wrong, one lead rein broke, I got bitten, I ended up loosing my temper and smaking one of the colts and now I'm very upset. I just cannot do it on my own whilst they are at this stage of their education and now I've made it all worse. He works shifts and isnt there most of the time to help me. Them I get back home and I have to cook sunday luch [all 3 men in the house are still in bed at this point] its 9am, so i peel veg etc, theres 2 stables to muck out and sheep to feed. no one helps, and if i ask they do they look hurt etc and i feel bad. Then I think of my late father who every week, without fail,took my mum out ,on a fri night for a meal "to save her having to cook" he used to say, infact the whole family often went. And she didnt have animals or hobbies except knitting,she sent washing to the laundry ever yweek,had a cleaner on a monday and was treated like royalty. Dad had a decent job. I can get very depressed at times. Sorry to rant but its all too much sometimes,cooking and baking and growing veg just because eveeythings too expensive , I only have the colts beacaue I cant afford a riding horse and there as to be 2 because they dont do living on their own, 1 of them actually belongs to my son as in he pays for its food but he never grooms it or traind it or mucks it out,I have to do all that stuff. I find it all too hard sometimes.

You have already had good advice on the family front..... they take advantage of you and, probably because it feels like too hard and more effort to change it than to do it yourself, you have slid into letting them. Time to take a stand! You are only one person and can only do the work of ONE, not three or four. I daresay you would like a lie in too sometimes, but do you get one? I doubt it

On a horsey level, please stop putting yourself in the firing line with the colts. You say you don't feel able to cope with them alone, so if OH needs (and I mean needs not wants;)) a lie in because of his shifts, feed them obviously but wait for everything else until he gets up. It may not be the tradition to muck out in the afternoon/evening/whenever, but who cares? It is better for the consistency as far as the colts are concerned and most importantly, you are not putting yourself in danger

So DS owns one of the colts? Either he sharpens up and helps or it gets sold! Every rescue place in the land is desperate for homes to send a companion so you don't HAVE to keep it. An older, cheap to run horse or pony will be far less trouble for you and will have a steadying influence on a youngster. One young horse with an old one to learn from is considerably less trouble than 2 youngsters


And lastly ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))). It is a lot easier to say than do, good luck

NualaBuala

((((((((Zara))))))), you poor love. I'd be crying too and probably be found blubbering in a pile of horse poo. There is no way I'd feel able to tackle a Sunday lunch after all that! The others have given good advice already - the only thing I can add is that I think these meltdowns are a wake up call that something needs to change. Hope you can put your feet up with a cuppa or have a long soak in the bath, something to take care of YOU for a change. xxx

FTM, hope you're ok - what a night and I'm so glad Iris is ok today. Must have been so frightening for you. Fab that your OH is on board with the moneysaving too.

Choccy, thank you so much and of course to wssla00 for the recipe - I love that name "Bottom of the Cupboard Bars" so I had to give them a try! I improvised a lot but hopefully they will be edible! I am not the world's greatest cook and not good at knowing how things are supposed to look so really I shouldn't do anything that needs improvising! But they are in the oven now so it won't be long before they get the taste test! Thanks also to Dolly and Jackie for putting the idea in my head.

mummyroysof3

Well i made flapjack and messed it up totally, middle was all soggy even though it was in the oven long enough, at least my cottage pie was yummy and the apple cake looks ok but we havent tasted it yet lol

mardatha

I made them and they are fine. OH has already been at them. Either that or I have a very big mouse..

GreyQueen

Back at Shoebox Towers, poorly Nokia isn't reacting to it's charger and I can't remember how to take the back off the ruddy thing to get at the SIM! Think I have successfully dunted (have smacked it very hard into the palm of my hand a couple of times, Mardatha, would that qualify as dunting?) Dead as a dodo. Just rang my mate on the landline to check she hasn't texted me in the last 3 days; she has, just to confirm due at her house at 5pm. It's 5 minutes walk away. Gawd, I love my city, it's so bijou.

Idiot Boy is still with us. Confusingly, what looked like a repossession by Hughes Electrical of I.B's rental washer last week was actually a delivery of a fresh one; old one is squatting on the walkway outside his flat! Hope they got the money up front because he's under legal notice of court action for possession of that flat by our council landlord and if he's taking on a new rental right now, is he planning to do a runner with it? Watch this space...

SuperGran just popped in for a chat and to update me on the doings in the 'hood. She's just tried jump-starting another neighbour's car and it wouldn't go, must be the solenoid as the battery is barely 3 months old. Plus the water company were gouging around in the road until midnight last night. Seems like the sewer may have thrown a wobbly and overflowed into the river.

Very complicated plumbing under and around the Towers. People have been living here for 1,000 + years and doing all sorts. It's fascinating whenever they dig up the Towers as you can see all different structures underground. We had a burst 5 inch water main last month which involved a digger and a lot of pumps and GQ hanging over the railing discussing urban archaeology with a very civil civil engineer. I am nothing if not nosey.

:mad: More random acts of refuse collection were committed last Friday instead of this coming Monday so it's now 4 weeks of chaos and counting. I shall be entering the Council's refuse collection calender for the Man Booker (Fiction). Grrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dollydaydream07

have been to farmfoods this afternoon and just thought i'd give you all the heads up that the Hovis that has been on offer at 2 for£1.25 has now gone on 2 for £1:money: and the milk has gone up 10p to 2 for £1.60, didn't really notice anything else as i only went in for those things!!

thanks to Gailey for the heads up on tesco cereals, went there and got 2 bags of value porridge oats and treated DD to a pack of variety cereals - tried to convince her that having the tesco own brand ones was a good idea but she wasn't having it so i gave in and got the kellogs ones!!

zarazara

Oh thank goodness for this forum and this thread. Thankyou all so much indeed. DS1 has gone to work, got up,did himself some toast and off to work, DS2 and DH got a bo**$£king and they went out and mucked out and put fresh straw down. I stayed in and had a cup of tea,apparently its all my fault DH is tired because for 15 years I have been kicking him in the night and waking him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is news to me, I am fast asleep. UNbelievable, I am speechless. So I said ok if thats the case I'll sleep on the sofa until you buy a new bed for yourself to sleep in, now thats all wrong too apparently. the shouting and rowing thats been going on here is so loud and prolonged that the whole village must have heard it. DS2 ,who owns one of the colts is in the armed forces, the problem is that when he's home I am so chuffed hes well and ok,if you get my drift, that I wait on him hand and foot and do his washing and like to cook him nice dinners and send him off with plenty of homebaked cakes and biscuits. So I over extend myself I suppose. Anyway, hes bu**ered off back to his barracks early. the sunday roast is still uncooked in the fridge,I've had a tin of soup and so s*d the lot of them. DH will get a shock tomorrow when theres no HM bread,pate,scones,cakes or biscuits to take to work,as that is what I usually do on a Sunday afternoon,bake stuff. oh, and to cap it all the cat has chewed the corner of the shop bought loaf [why?] so some of thats had to be thrown away.The vets calling in the week to geld one of the colts so his biting and nipping should improve very soon. the other will be gelded when he has "two" and not just the "one" which he has at the moment. phewwwww, I'm going to make a hot coffee mocha in a minute and enjoy an hour on the internet.

Hippeechiq

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time Zara :grouphug:

Nuala DD has had a truly awful start to the year - mental illness is a long hard slog sadly. No quick fix. I had hoped that the Therapy would help, but these past few weeks she seems to be worse than she was a year ago I appreciate you asking though hun and I really hope you win your appeal. It's a sad state of affairs when the genuinely ill have to battle so hard for a little financial help, that, let's face it, only enables a basic standard of living when their daily health battles are already enough to be dealing with.

dollydaydream07 wrote: »

flowertotmum i did a search on here and found a couple of recipes for the flapjack but this one from the Jan 09 grocery challenge was what i intended to use............ i say intended as when i weighed out my porridge oats i only had 300g so had to alter the recipe so kind of used it as a guide but had to guess at the amounts!!

500g Porridge Oats, 175g sugar (demerara or granulated both work fine so whichever you have), 210g Marg or Butter & 6tbsp golden syrup

Heat Sugar, Butter & Syrup in Large Pan gently until all melted together(i did it in micro instead). Mix in Oats. Spread in baking Tray and bake for 15mins. Leave to cool slightly before cutting and turn onto cooling rack, or a Bread Board works just as well.

i spread half of the mix into my glass tray, then spread the mincemeat over that, then the rest of the mix and baked in the oven for about 20-25 minutes, i think at 180(fan oven)

it is really tasty, DH doesn't normally like flapjack but loves this, we had a slice after tea last night and the first thing DH said was 'ooh this would be gorgeous with some custard'...... i told him great minds as that's the plan to do with it today after our sunday roast!!

Oooh - that sounds lovely Dolly - might give those a go myself. Roughly what size tin do you use please? And is there any particular amount of mincemeat you use? - or is it just enough to cover half the flapjack mixture in your tin?

mrswive

I hope this doesn't bring the mood down, and apologise if it does, but for the first time ever I'm really worried about the tough times.

For as long as I can remember, our joint income has been below the national average for one person, but we have made choices that suit us and have never felt 'poor' or worried for our financial future. For example, we run one small car; OH cycles the 35 mile round trip to work and I walk the 1/2 hour each way on the 2 days that I work. We don't smoke, drink, have Sky tv or the latest gadgets and are very careful with our budgeting. This means that we can do things that are important to us, like go to Italy a couple of times a year, on the cheap of course! We've sorted out a way of life that suits us and are very happy with it.
Lately though the mood has shifted somewhat as basic foods, petrol, gas & electricity and other things that we don't have the option to opt out of, are going up at a rate of knots. According to the news yesterday, car insurance is going to rise substantially this year too. The only thing not increasing is our income, presuming we keep it! OH works for Hampshire County Council which is slashing jobs like crazy, and I work for the NHS so we're both a bit uneasy to say the least. I feel as if the carefully woven rug we've made is being pulled out from under us and we're losing the ability to make the choices we want.
To cap it all, I'm one of the women of a certain age who will have their pension age increased (again!) and, if the proposals go ahead, I will have to wait an extra year and three months to get my pension. :mad:

I've just read this post and realised how pessimistic it sounds, which is really unlike me, so I apologise again, but feel better for getting it off my chest. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

modern_millie_2

ZZ, sorry you are having a hard time. Hope they start to realise how much you do for them. Look after yourself.

PLP, re turning a collar - unpick the collar on the row of stitching under the collar button/buttonhole, turn it back to front, pin on and re sew - I did it by hand but you can probably use a machine. If you want it to do up, it would be more complicated as your buttonhole is now on the wrong side, but if not as Mardatha says it is surprisingly simple. My OH becomes v. attached to his (old) clothes and will wear them till they are falling apart, so I think this could be really useful!

GQ, can I just say - you really make me larf!

Also - very impressed by the party organising mums, but so glad I don't need to do it myself these days -hard work.