Sibling Rivalry - has she stolen from me? Advice needed

whitewing

Rather than put money aside regularly in an account for your niece, why don't you put the same amount aside in your own name but a long term account. Then when your niece is older you have the option of giving it to her or not. I think it would have to be an extremely sensible teenager who doesn't blow a lump sum. I'd rather be given a lump sum now (in my thirties) than when I was 18 as I would enjoy the money so much more, lol (in case any fairy godmothers are listening).

The other thing is that it may feel bad to your sister if you can regularly save for your niece and she can't. (May be slightly different say for grandparents). My sister used to give my son better presents than I could get him when I was on my own and pleased as I was at his pleasure it is a bittersweet feeling.

I don't agree with your sister spending the money though anyway.

concerned43

My sister did the same for my son and although the account is in his name and my sisters - he can't take anything out without her signature. I have the passbook but have never used it and I have been pretty desperate at times!
A despicable thing to do without your permission. I would pay it into another account (not your nieces fault she has a thief for a mother) and tell your sister you will be telling your niece her mother owes her £1900!

DVardysShadow

MoneyMaLady wrote: »

The bank haven't been negligent, she's broken trust rather than rules, she had the pass book for the account.

And unfortunately there are no statements showing my payments - the annual statement only shows the balance.

I could start paying into my own account for my niece but my sister has said she doesn't want anything from me ever again. Very easy to when you've already had nearly £2K!

Looks like I'll just have to get over it!

The annual statement is enough to prove that the money existed - presumably in your niece's name. These are what you need to hand over at age 18.

As for the bank not being negligent, I wonder to what depth you have followed this up? Possessing the passbook is not sufficient to withdraw money. If the money can be withdrawn under parental supervision, you should take a look at the process - does the parent have to sign that it is solely for the benefit of the child? If this is the case, does it open up avenues?

MoneyMaLady

whitewing wrote: »

Rather than put money aside regularly in an account for your niece, why don't you put the same amount aside in your own name but a long term account. Then when your niece is older you have the option of giving it to her or not. I think it would have to be an extremely sensible teenager who doesn't blow a lump sum. I'd rather be given a lump sum now (in my thirties) than when I was 18 as I would enjoy the money so much more, lol (in case any fairy godmothers are listening).

The other thing is that it may feel bad to your sister if you can regularly save for your niece and she can't. (May be slightly different say for grandparents). My sister used to give my son better presents than I could get him when I was on my own and pleased as I was at his pleasure it is a bittersweet feeling.

I don't agree with your sister spending the money though anyway.

Well we had a verbal agreement that she wouldn't be allowed to p*** it up the wall, lol.

To be fair, she can afford to save and doesn't. She's married and they have a nice big house and the kids get spoiled every christmas (yeah, I have a nephew too but he's 4 and my Mum pays into his account, not sure if she's messed with that one or what). I'm single and managing! To have tried to do something nice for my niece and have it thrown in my face like this really bites

flea72

MoneyMaLady wrote: »

There is no card, it's all done at the post office with a passbook. Children under 7 can't access their own money but a child over 7 can with parental supervision.

It's my own stupid fault, I thought she could be trusted

ok, have just looked at the T&C for child accounts, and unless yours is different, you cant take money out at the PO unless you contact NS&I direct, which would lead me to assume that you would at least have received a confirmation letter, setting up this facility

it looks like your sister has more than defrauded her own daughter

F

MoneyMaLady

DVardysShadow wrote: »

The annual statement is enough to prove that the money existed - presumably in your niece's name. These are what you need to hand over at age 18.

As for the bank not being negligent, I wonder to what depth you have followed this up? Possessing the passbook is not sufficient to withdraw money. If the money can be withdrawn under parental supervision, you should take a look at the process - does the parent have to sign that it is solely for the benefit of the child? If this is the case, does it open up avenues?

Thanks, I hadn't thought of that. I'll check it out

melancholly

just out of interest, why did they send you a statement? if the account is in her name, should they be sending you statements? (that doesn't take away from the fact that this sounds horrible.... i can't imagine someone doing this - secretively too. if they'd had a financial crisis and told you, maybe it could have just about been understandable, but for them to be emptying it - presumably more than once if there's a montly payment that isn't there - and not telling you is very odd)

red_devil

does your neice know? what does she think? i think your sis should pay your neice back that money wasnt for her. Nothing like money to cause trouble in families?

MoneyMaLady

red_devil wrote: »

does your neice know? what does she think? i think your sis should pay your neice back that money wasnt for her. Nothing like money to cause trouble in families?

My niece is 8 and was unaware of the account. I don't know what she's been told about it now as I've no contact with her or my sister since the arguement nearly 2 weeks ago. However, I am not about to stir things up between mother and daughter, that would be beneath me

rozmister

I would continue to save for your niece even if your sister says she wants nothing more from you. It's none of your sister's business once your niece is 18 and I'm your niece would appreciate the thought and kindness it shows. She probably needs all the help she can get with a tea leave like that for a mother!

I would also contact ns&i and check your sister hasn't broken any rules. As previously mentioned she would need to be a named adult on the account. I would also tell your sister she has 10 years to pay it back and you expect her to. Tell her exactly how much is £1,900 divided by 120 (assuming your niece is literally just 8 there's 120 months til she's 18) and then tell her she needs to pay you that amount to put in the new unaccessible to her account.

Even though she's behaved terribly I would try and remain calm and not use accusing language. If your sister's a scheming thief who'll take from her own flesh and blood that's who she is as depressing as it may be! The best thing you can do is try and claw back as much of the money for your niece and take the moral high ground (not hard!). HTH