Rude customer at Nandos!

adouglasmhor

Well it's too late to do anything about it know isn't it. Just let it slide and stop worrying about it.

Next time someone pokes you like that try telling them "Touch me again and you'll be pulling back a stump." (it's a film quote I'm joking)

LyndsM

Just to chuck another tradition in there:

At weddings/formal dinners where ladies would be wearing hats as part of their outfit, it is 'the done thing' to keep your hat ON until after the meal. This would be the same time that gentlemen are allowed to remove their jackets and the speeches would begin. It would be considered incredibly rude and possibly a slur toward the hosts/bride & groom to remove clothing/hats etc. before that point in the day - and at some where there is a toastmaster he will announce (as the speech-bubbly is being poured) that "men may now remove their jackets and ladies their hats" (I think this is starting to go out of style though, although I have been to many where it is still the case).

Not sure how that translates into a meal out at Nandos though :rotfl:

As for the rude chap in Nandos - as my Mum would say "ignore him, he's just showing off"

Lynds

Idiophreak

uktim29 wrote:

Thing is though this seems to be a custom from ages ago which is no longer widely know/respected now which should be considered.

I don't think it's any great secret. I'm 22(23? something like that..) and am aware of it, so it's obv not a generational thing. Aside from the fact that my parents would have taught me about it, it's on TV all the time.
People docking(sp?) their caps to show respect to ladies etc. The fact that there's such a thing as "hat racks" is also a clue.

As a rule, to think about whether something would be consider good manners, I think about whether I'd do it in front of the queen. If you were to visit the queen at the palace and have dinner with her, would you really leave your cap on?

Markyt

Jarvissa wrote:

It IS bad manners to eat/sit down at a table and prepare to eat, with your hat on.

You don't have to be foreign, stuck in a timewarp or over a certain age to think/know this. I'm 24 and I wouldn't dream of wearing a cap to a restaurant.

I would, under certain circumstances. Maybe I'm covering an unsightly scar, or a deformity I'm sensitive about, or maybe just having a bad hair day.

Point is, you can't just assume people are being rude, or forgetful, or have no respect for other people. It may be that respect that is keeping the hat on.

uktim29

Idiophreak wrote:

As a rule, to think about whether something would be consider good manners, I think about whether I'd do it in front of the queen. If you were to visit the queen at the palace and have dinner with her, would you really leave your cap on?

Personally I don't even wear a cap but had my thoughts on the subjuect. The meeting royalty question isn't relevant thought, you should bow to the Queen if you meet her but do you bow to everyone else you meet? (or people at Nandos!) very unlikely.

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

Oh My God Whats All This About Some Prat Tells You Take Your Hat
Just Tell Him To Bog Off Why Debate It ? Its Hardly Big News Is It ?if He Said Take Your Clothes Off Then You May Have A Point Just Move On .

liz545

uktim29 wrote:

Thing is though this seems to be a custom from ages ago which is no longer widely know/respected now which should be considered. And then although I know this will be unpopular with some people but where do these customs come from? Not so much that, but why is it rude to wear something on your head whilst eating? I'm not interested in the because it's a custom/tradition thing but the actual why? Therefore if a scene was made which was implied it's as already pointed out more rude than the very largely unknown offense itself.

The reason it's considered rude is if you're wearing your hat indoors, it's like saying you're not staying. If you were at a friend's house for tea, you'd take off your coat, wouldn't you? It's not hugely rude, and I think most people wouldn't be really offended, but it is polite to take off your hat. It's not really a big deal in Nandos, because it's not formal dining, but if you ever went to a posh restaurant you'd be expected to remove your hat.

uktim29 wrote:

What about people who wear headwear due to religious beliefs?

I doubt someone wearing a yarmulke or sikh turban would be asked to remove it, even at a really formal restaurant. Etiquette is there to make people feel comfortable not awkward!

uktim29 wrote:

This is why I think trying to apply outdated/unknown traditions in a modren world doesn't work.
Another way of looking at it. Everyone who prepares food to be eaten by the public by law has to wear something over their hair to prevent it dropping in. The chance being it may contain bacteria that could cause food poisening ok a rare a chance but thats what they have to do now a days, eg most fast food places have their staff wearing caps!
But this tradition says we should remove them? Ok the above example is just the nanny state laws trying to make sure nothing can happen to anyone! But perhaps it's just time to move on now and accept that old traditions that are no longer widely taught and of no relevence are just moved on from?

They're not really outdated traditions - they're part of manners, designed to ensure that people aren't left feeling awkward or uncomfortable because of the behaviour of others. This is, admittedly, stuff that not everyone is brought up knowing, but it does make sense - you don't want to inadvertantly offend someone, do you? And while you might expect restaurant staff to cover their hair (I'd be horrified if I was served food with hair in it, food poisoning or not), there's a pretty obvious distinction between the behaviour expected of staff, and that of patrons!

uktim29

This is the weird thing about formalities. When I visit friends naturally I take off coat etc simplty because I intend to stay a while. If I'm just dropping something off or a quick visit I probably won't.

liz545 wrote:

Etiquette is there to make people feel comfortable not awkward!

But in the original post etiquette simply didn't work using the above definition of it and the fact you don't personally know random people dining.

Which simply comes back to the point of is it simply worth the hassle of correcting someone for a reletively unknown formality which is very complicated to say whether it's really appropriate in a specific situation and given the fact that one might naturally (as I've said in my first sentence of this post) do the correct thing when this sort of etiquette is appropriate.