Recently had a surprise baby, want to make sure I'm doing things right....

Britwife

Congrats on your new baby! Enjoy bonding with him. I'm so happy you have an employer working with you on this too. I think with some little boys, you carry them so low you sometimes don't show.

I hope his daddy comes around and gets involved and I'm sure you'll find a way to talk to him about child support.

Best wishes!

gentlepurr

Wow! What a wonderful surprise!! Welcome to the world little Jensen-James.

A great site for info and lots of local knowledge too is http://www.netmums.com/ chat forums on there too.

Enjoy your precious bundle and dont bog yourself down about worrying about everything, it'll all take shape, just enjoy your son

gp xx

Plans_all_plans

Hi, you may be eligible for the SureStart Maternity Grant of £500 - I thought I was ineligible becaus eI was working, but turns out I'd have been eligible. Put in an application regardless of whether you think you'll get it or not: they can only say no.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expectingorbringingupchildren/index.htm
Check on here for everything else you might be entitled to.

You should get child tax credit too: think they need you to have got child benefit form in though before you can start claiming this, but I may be wrong.

You should also get £50 for a child trust fund I think.

Regarding the dad: give him time to get his head round it and time to bond with the child if he wants to before you broach the subject of maintenance. Try to do it amicably, but if this isn't possible then go through the CSA.

Look on freecycle for second hand baby bits and contact your local SureStart Centre and your Council's Family Information Service for information about playgroups and childcare.

Good luck.

ailuro2

You could sit Dad down if he comes to visit and ask him to take a paternity test... tell him YOU know it's his, but you don't want there to be any doubt in his mind ( I'm reading into it that you'd not seen him for quite a while when you had the baby)

Then if he says he doesn't need it, tell him that you're very happy to hear that as you'd really like his name on the birth certificate....

If he asks why, tell him what you've told us - that you want him to have parental responsibility, and that of course you realise that with that goes some financial responsibility...

It might be a good idea to have someone in the other room when you mention this, in case he reacts badly / shock etc, though he probably knows money is going to be mentioned at some point.

LittleMissLongLegs

Wow what a surprise, Congratulations

DigForVictory

Blimey. You are doing the right thing, money & famiy wise & I'm sure you're being a brilliant Mummy To Jensen-James (may I call him JJ?)

Please get to and mum & baby groups & any parenting classes you can - if only for the reassurance that it Isn't Just You! Yes, you may well be the only mum there who didn't know she was for a bit, but every mum there will have her doubts & anxieties & being able to voice them & share them is a huge relief. (A full decade later one mum & I have a special relationship because both our sons drank soapy bathwater & we didn't dare admit it in case we were being Bad Mothers... So, ask!):rotfl:

Ailuro2's suggestion about the sequence of questions about paternity tests is admirable, but you do have a bit of time - 42 days - just for registering & then there is no charge for corrections or re-registrations to add the father's details.

Find a registry office, to register JJ, using this? http://maps.direct.gov.uk/LDGRedirect/MapAction.do?ref=grolight

Enjoy this time as much as you can, claim every entitlement & set up a junkmail account for all the email freebies. Money off coupons for you & other toys & chewable envelopes for JJ!

All the very best of luck & congratulations! :T

chaosweddings

I also had a surprise baby 12 years ago tomorrow, eek i feel old now,

i found out when i was in a car accident and got took to hospital by ambulance and the nurse said " mother and baby are doing fine" to which my reply was " think you have the wrong cubicle "

i was nearly nine months and went into labour right then, i had no bump or put on any weight and apparently ds was up under my ribs.

i was unable to get maternity pay as i had not been in my job for 28 weeks so i had to go on income support for 3 months until i went back to work, then working tax credit or what ever it was called back then

congratulations xx

Tulip

Congratulations!

go_cat

He is one special little boy if you didn't think you could conceive naturally ....huge congratulations and enjoy being a mummy !!

clairec79

congratulations, must be a huge shock to you and your family