some support, advice, ideas....please!!!

Lornadoone_2

I am new....and in the process of starting a DMP through the CCCS. They have been a godsend to me and amongst the tears of 2010 they have been my saviours.
Briefly-made redundant and husband walked out next day. Our child-2yrs old and I relocated as we couldnt afford to live. I accrued debt totalling £25k through the marriage supporting ex, the pregnancy. home improvements and maternity leave. One debt is a loan i took out in my name for my ex so he could cancel 2 historic Credit cards with high interest. Long story short he paid no maintainance for our child, redundancy ran out early 2010 and as a result my excellent credit record is now shot to bits with 5 default notices, a token payment plan and a little child needing so much more than I can give. I still have no job but after much wrangling I have now an income of £1450pm. Out of that I can now pay £350 towards the debts. But I am struggling so much on how else I can cut down my expenditure to throw more money at the debts so I really could do with some help. I have the best priced utilities, I dont go out, I dont buy myself clothes/shoes/makeup/treats. I do spend £3.99 a week on a bottle of wine though-shock horror. I've tried getting work to no avail....yet!!!! Our child is clean and healthy even though he suffers from an illness. I claim all I can claim in CTC, CB and NHS benefits. Its the monthly food bill, fuel, bits and bats like child activities etc....it all adds up so much and yet I dont seem able to give our child that bit more.....that makes me cry.
My aim is this....give child more, get rid of debt by 2016, never ever use credit cards or loans again....oh and I would so like a break or even a night out just once in a long while.....
Thanks for listening.

Squirrel29

Do you have any union membership, im just thinking as I'm in Unison and you can apply for a free well deserved break if you are in hardship and haven't been away for 4 years? Why dont you pop your SOA up here also (sticky re how to this at top of the DFW forum. There still might be ways to cut back that a fresh pair of eyes can see. You sound like a fabulous, strong lady and mum. x

Squirrel29

Oops I just read no job so of course no unison membership. How about one of the Sun holidays where you save tokens? I think about £9.50 each for 4 days or so? x

Lornadoone_2

Oh thanks Squirrel...never thought of the Sun tokens.....guess we will just have to pray for some sunny weather too -or am I pushing my luck now???
Being a bit thick but what is SOA? And how do I get this to the top of DFW forum....could really do with some more inspiration. And a good pushing to chop my outgoings even further without it impacting child....

Tixy

Hi Lorna and welcome to DFW.

A statement of affairs is an income & expenditure account, we use this calc - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html if you post the results on here (choose format for MSE at the bottom of the calculator) then people may be able to spot areas where we can think of ways you can reduce your costs etc and suggest other money saving tips.

Gingerjar

Hello Lorna Doone

Just wanted to say hello and well done for posting on here. Everyone is so kind and helpful and I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be along to give you some proper help in a minute. You have had a really rough time but have managed to get this far as well as being a good mum to your little one. I was left on my own with a 2 year old so I know how it feels but you WIll get through this I promise you.

If anyone offers you any help ie looking after littl'un for a hour so you can have a bit of time or wants to give you something, then say yes. I didn't as I felt I had to do eveything for myself. Now I llok back and think how silly I was.

You sound like a great person, don't let your ex-OH drag you down.

I'll subscribe and keep an eye on how you are getting on.

Love Ginger x

Lornadoone_2

Thank you so much Tixy and Ginger for being so kind and giving me encouragement.

I feel so much better already and have 'almost' convinced myself that I can do this!!! I'll do my SOA tonight and post it to see where else I can cut back. Have already decided that £90 per month for combined gas and electricity (due to rise in prices, bitter winter and having heating on all day for my baby for weeks this winter) needs to be cut right back even though I've done my homework and know I'm on the cheapest tarriff.

I am so worried about the impact of the default notices will have on our future ie getting a future mortgage, paying for mobile contracts, getting decent job where security and debt clearance is required, paying for school trips etc etc. I think I need to post to find out how long a default stays on and is visible to creditors......I shouldnt worry I know but if I get some information then maybe whatever i can do now whilst my child is young can be dealt with and sorted by the time he is old enough to realise the trouble we are in and minimise the impact on his future.

How can I continue the momentum of cutting back/down and keeping a smile on my face??

Do people find the DFW diary helpful?

kazwookie

CSA your ex hubby to get him to pay towards the child

Tixy

Defaults stay on your credit file for 6years from the date of the default. If you pay them off in that time then they would be updated to show as settled defaults, but they will still have a big impact on your credit file.
There are people who have managed to get mortgages with defaults on their file, although not at the most competitive rates.

Lornadoone_2

Thanks Tixy...then after the 6 years is your credit report wiped clean of the defaults, if paid up of course...or do they stay on and are visible for ever after? Should I be posting this on another forum -sorry for the questions.

Lornadoone_2

kazwookie wrote: »

CSA your ex hubby to get him to pay towards the child

been there done that and he went Off Shore with his money even though he earns in excess of £60k per year.....yep he's one of 'those'!!!!