my 3 1/2 DD keeps wetting herself. Help!

blackEyes_2

Well, my DD has been potty trained since last September, just 2 weeks before starting school, she has been brilliant, she still wears a nappy at night because i have been waiting for the summer to train her at night.

Anyway everything was ok till the last 2 weeks, she keeps wetting herself at home and at her nanny's.. we constantly remind her if she need to go she should go, and she says no, then she is wet. After telling her off, then she goes to the toilet which is the only time she actually goes, she "forgets" after that.We have tried telling her off, giving her presents, no going out, treats,,, i just don't know what to do anymore...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Make her go. Don't rely on her knowing she needs to go when she gets that feeling. No fuss, no trouble, just 'time for the toilet' not 'do you need to go?'.

She's a bit small to know for sure yet.

I'd only be bothered if she's still forgetting regularly in a year's time.

blackEyes_2

think your are right, exactly what MIl said, i just feel so frustrated, it feels like going back to square one.

mumslave

Take her to the docs and make sure she doesnt have an infection. Kids whom are ill, getting ill or have irritation go back to wetting themselves. Also can happen if they have had any major changes in home or school life.

HellsGranny

Have there been changes in her routine lately? change of Pre-school, new baby, new pets, someone coming to stay?

Often going back to wetting can be a feeling of insecurity. Telling her off is not a good idea, as she will become anxious, and could make the problem worse. You being tense and uptight about it will upset her more.

Make light of the problem, she needs reassurance, not blame. Tell her it doesn't matter if she has an accident. In the meantime take her to the toilet every half hour, praise her up when she performs, just say something like 'Oh dear, never mind' when she has an accident. gradually stretch the time between toilet trips, and she will soon get the hang of it again.

She wants to please you and be a big girl, but it is also a good idea to get her urine checked by the GP, as it could be partly due to a urinary infection.

My 3 year old grandson is at the same stage, so I know where you are coming from, I trained my two children this way as well.

Becles

My daughter (also 3½) did this in December. She wasn't ill and there was no apparent reason for it.

I started keeping notes and it seemed to be a way of attention seeking. Like if she asked me for something but I was busy and said "hang on a minute and I'll just finish this...." and she'd deliberately wet herself to get my immediate attention.

It was just before Christmas so I told her she wouldn't get any presents at all if she continued being naughty and wetting herself on purpose. She was horrified and never did it again after that. Only do something like that though if you are sure it's deliberate attention seeking.

Hope you get it sorted out soon. It's so frustrating.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

blackEyes wrote: »

think your are right, exactly what MIl said, i just feel so frustrated, it feels like going back to square one.

Don't worry - my 11 year old still tries to ignore the urge to go even now, as she hates school toilets, so she often comes home from school and I have to open the front door and stand back as she runs towards the downstairs loo - and if that's occupied, I open the door and say upstairs, as she flies down the hallway!


ETA: your DD may even still be forgetting she hasn't got a nappy on - after all, it is all she has known her whole life. She was probably holding it and then releasing quite regularly before the nappies came off.

blackEyes_2

Thanks so much for the replies. We are moving home in 2 weeks and she will be moving schools, she knew this for 2 months now and went to see the new house with her last December, We went to see the headmaster ( whom is a friend of ours), the school, and she can not wait to move.... she was fine tho, everything started 2 weeks ago. i think i tell her off because when she is with me, and i take her to town (1 hs journey) then to the shops etc... maybe 3 hours there and journey back she always asks for the toilet, not once she had an accident. Now at home is different, she does in a regularly basis, and now at her nannys, whom is decorating the house and i feel bad cos my DD keeps having accidents, they tell her it is not a big deal, so i guess she does not care.

WestonDave

Our son went through a phase of this last summer at about the same age, nothing we did seemed to make any difference and then it just stopped again. We can only assume it was some kind of development thing whereby he was getting more absorbed in what he was doing and forgetting to think about using the toilet until it was too late.