Why so much prejudice against those in debt?

mambo69

andy.m wrote: »

I would suggest that there is no resentment to those who acknowledge and are repaying their debts.

The trouble comes from people looking for a technicality to get out of paying, those that lay the blame elsewhere and most frustratingly, those that become stroppy when they do not like the advice that is given them.

QUOTE]


Sums it up for me, and also like to add those in serious debt who still seem to have the latest TV, mobiles and games consoles and do nothing to hide their new possesions

for those in serious debt who are struggling to pay off by going wihout i doff my cap and pray they acheive their aims

bargainbetty

It depends on whose prejudice you mean. I know there are several people I will never lend money to again, because I will never get it back, despite constant promises. Am I prejudiced against them, or is it experience?

Businesses are unlikely to offer credit to people who have, for whatever reason, shown they are unable to manage it properly. Is that prejudice, or practical sense? We keep telling banks not to fritter our money away again by giving easy credit to anyone, then people scream and stamp when banks won't give out easy credit to them. The one thing I sympathise with the banks for is that - damned if they do, damned if they don't.

As Andy.m notes, it's not about just being in debt. Most of us DFWs have been there. We know how easy it is to get into debt and how hard it is to get out. I spent ten years paying off credit cards and consolidated twice before I wised up. It just bugs people when you work your backside off getting yourself straight and paying every last penny off, and other people sit there saying 'Oh well, we can't do without Sky, and we'd be too stressed to stop smoking, and the kids have to have the latest stuff, and I don't like own brand, can you just tell me how to get out of paying it because it's all the bank's fault for giving us the money anyway'? That, my friend, is what p*sses people off.

That and street performers who paint themselves silver and stand still. I'm not giving you money for that, I can watch statues for free.

cattyboo

Ay up! :wave:

I've never posted on any other forum than the DFW and from reading what others have said on here I don't want to! My only guess is that these people have never experienced any sort of financial hardship, let's face it nobody wants to get into debt but sometimes you don't have a lot of choice and I reckon 99% of people who accrue some sort of debt accept that nobody is going to magic away (unfortunately!) and we'll just have to lump it, make cutbacks and chip away at it slowly (although I only recently accepted this after a period of 'sticking head in sand'! Fortunately I'm not alone and there's lots of lovely people on here for help me get to a better financial position.)

Still, what I can't grasp is how insensitive some people can be from reading comments others have posted on here from experiences of these snotty nosed people in other forums, how hard is it to put yourself in someone else's shoes?! :wall: It's a lot easier to be nice to someone, what a total waste of energy it is to be unsupportive. I don't want to hang in cyberspace around with people like that, I'm staying here where the :A:A are

bargainbetty wrote: »

That and street performers who paint themselves silver and stand still. I'm not giving you money for that, I can watch statues for free.

You do make be chuckle bargainbetty! :rotfl:

C xx

Mrs_Arcanum

The sad fact is there are those who work hard and are on a level of income where they have to pay full price - glasses, dental treatment, school trips, uniforms etc. Yet they see people on only a small amount less getting help with all these things. Some were brought up with a sensible attitude to finance & others only had poor role models. Either way the sanctimonious "holier than thou" attitude to the people who have faced their demons and are trying to straighten out is unhelpful and unfair. I do think the easy access to funds and the ever increasing (previously unasked for) credit limits have only added to this and for this the banks should take some responsibility for their reckless lending.

All DFW's want to be respected for doing the right thing now, not condemned for their previous mistakes.

uphillstruggler

Debtors' prisons in Dickens, bankruptcy on the Monopoly board - debt has always been treated like a nasty disease. Racking up debt is usually down to stupidity or misfortune, or a combination of both. I feel for people thrown into debt through sheer misfortune - losing their job, sickness, etc. - these are the people who suffer from the widespread assumption that all debt is caused by stupidity and greed.

I fall into the stupidity bracket. I have lived (and am still living) a happy life. I am 100% to blame for every single penny of my debt and while I couldn't give two hoots what other people think of my debt (and I strongly believe that, although I haven't used any of these resources, debt advice channels should be open and not subject to any prejudice) I certainly wouldn't want either pity or a pat on the back for working hard towards paying it back. Sheer greed and stupidity. Muppet. Lesson learned!

TooDee

I think just some people are not good with money and i'm one of them! I'm not stupid I do lots of things well but I just never got to grips with money at all. My parents are very good with money so I don't belive it was my upbringing.

I feel the shame from my friends when we can't eat where they want to eat becuase I can't afford it let alone people on the net making me feel bad.

My lifes a ball though and usually without spending money. I'm happiest when hanging out with friends, out with the dog, up the allotment or just chilling at home. I don't need money to make me happy. I hate the stuff lol!

jennikitten

andy.m wrote: »

The trouble comes from people looking for a technicality to get out of paying, those that lay the blame elsewhere and most frustratingly, those that become stroppy when they do not like the advice that is given them.

bargainbetty wrote: »

It just bugs people when you work your backside off getting yourself straight and paying every last penny off, and other people sit there saying 'Oh well, we can't do without Sky, and we'd be too stressed to stop smoking, and the kids have to have the latest stuff, and I don't like own brand, can you just tell me how to get out of paying it because it's all the bank's fault for giving us the money anyway'? That, my friend, is what p*sses people off.

This is exactly it, you don't tell these people what they want to hear and suddenly you're the bad person for saying there's no magic solution. Then when you say that, they're all, 'Well I thought I'd get help from people here, you're all mean and I'm disabled/have five adopted children/had a partner who left me/am dyslexic'.

When someone makes a perfectly reasonable and valid suggestion, they do their best to shoot it down or distract the conversation one way or another because they don't like it. Half the time I'm not even sure they realise they're doing it, and the rest of the time I think they're just here for tea and sympathy.

dreamdreamer

I completely agree. Even as a person who racked up an enormous amount of debt (through a combination of stupidity and misfortune - love that uphillstruggler) I still hate the blase attitude of people who buy whatever they want, flash it around, then whine when, big surprise, the bank wants repayments! Then do anything they can to wiggle out of it.

There's a big difference between struggling people doing their best, and reckless spenders with no financial morals. Unfortunately some people don't make the distinction and just class everyone with debt as irresponsible. I suspect most of those people have never had financial worry, so can't or won't empathise.

Anyway I for one will be staying on DFW even once I'm debt free. I love you huggies!

kdenty

But I think I was one of the irresponsible people. I freely admit it. When we got a house I carried on living as if I was just paying rent (at half the cost of the morgage). I bought luxury stuff to put in the house and got carried away with credit cards.

Am I allowed to be a reformed character? It's really easy to be in a spendaholic trap and I'm sure for some of us it can be a deep rooted psychological problem (comfort spending, the equivalent of comfort eating).

So even some DFWs show less support for others in the same boat who just got there in a different, maybe less acceptable, way.

I am now trying to be responsible for my own situation now but still want advice and support.

I have removed my sig when posting in other parts of the forum. I have posted on the credit card section. It seems more abrupt and less discussion but then I suppose it's a fairly dull topic.

mbaz

I posted on the housebuying board for some advice re: mortgage lenders and got shot down in flames because of my sig!

None of my family or friends know about my debts I am just too ashamed. I have become very good at stretching money, using vouchers etc and they never seem to have noticed - at least they have never said anything to me if they have.

I am so angry at myself for getting into this mess but I cannot wait for the day - hopefully this year) - when I have paid every pennt back and without a CCA request in sight! lol