Ex contact and holidays

Soubrette

rachbc wrote: »

I've just mentioned it to son and he feels upset that he can't spend half the time with each of us and worried that whoever he doesn't choose will be upset! I'm now even more cross with his dad for putting him that position!

I've always emphasised to my girls that I am happiest when they are happiest - I'd rather they were happy with their Dad than miserable with me. He on the other hand used to talk about mum's time and dad's time, wouldn't let them call me on his time etc. They actually prefer spending time with me partly I think, because they know that I would never stop them contacting their Dad if they felt they need to - they don't trust their Dad to do the same.

Has he picked up on how upset you are about this?

Why not talk to his Dad and ask him if it is an inflexible holiday like Australia or whether there is wriggle room as ideally your son would like to split his holidays.

We go regularly to Canada to see our large family out there - this means that occasionally the Girls Dad has to spend the whole of Christmas without them - I make sure that the next year he gets to do what he wants with them over the whole holiday.

Is this a possibility?

gratefulforhelp_2

rachbc wrote: »

He does have a good relationship with his dad - but does that have to be fostered at the expense of our relationship with him? As is so often the case its me an OH who do all the dull day to day making him do homework, do his chores and as his dad himself says, he does all the fun stuff! Our summer holiday is our chance to kick back and have some fun too and I'm more than a bit peeved about having that taken away from us when he coud very well book a 2 week trip!

No, you don't have to put up with it. Just because ex has booked, doesn't mean he can't rearrange. Losing money is a side effect of his arrogance in not consulting you first.

rachbc wrote: »

I've just mentioned it to son and he feels upset that he can't spend half the time with each of us and worried that whoever he doesn't choose will be upset! I'm now even more cross with his dad for putting him that position!

If you have mentioned it to DS, then all you have to do is wait for him to decide?

Hope he doesn't feel under too much pressure from the decision.