Can anybody tell me...

thriftlady_2

Lyndsay_21 wrote:

my little girl was a bridesmaid in july and i wasn't expected to pay for anything. Surely if they want you as a bridesmaid they should pay not you!!!

I'm absolutely staggered that anyone is expected or indeed expecting to pay Surely the bride or her family, or the couple should pay ?

arnie&caseysma!

I was chief bridesmaid last year for my friend who paid for EVERTHING. All I did was split the cost of the hen night 70/30 with the other bridesmaid (as I earn more than her) and I took my car twice when we went to get her dress and then for the fitting. She paid for the fuel. I wasnt expected to do anything! I think a lot of it was out of thanks for being the person who got them together.......!!!!

nearlyrich

I was a bridesmaid for my sister a few years ago, I offered to pay for the hire of dresses for myself and the other small bridesmaids ( my DD and niece) as a wedding present as they were on a tight budget.

wobblebottom

My Friend has asked me recently and I have offered to buy the shoes myself to help out- ensuring I get something that can be worn again, dyed or sold on.. She is paying for the dress, hair etc.. but she has also got my DS & DD as Page boy and Flower girl, so i offered to contribute to their outfits aswell, but I am pretty sure shes going to hire the dresses if not, Tesco are doing a snazzy little black number atm, (yes shes having 3 ladies in black), flower girl in red) and all very reasonable.

check out the Sales Rails in most bridal shops before anything else if you have to buy, or Debenhams,John lewis,Monsoon, BHS etc...

When I married my parents paid for my bridesmaids dresses,hair etc.. We did our own make up and bought own shoes.

e_m_i_l_y_e_m

Wow - I didn't expect so many replies! Thanks very much everybody. Apparently I have to sort out my own dress, shoes and most of the bits and bobs but the wedding isn't to far away so i won't have to pay for a hotel etc. Just hope I can get something Ebay-able! I think we are doing our own hair and make-up so it won't come to too much.

Imelda

Hi Emily,

Bit of a sore point with me at the moment! I was a bridesmaid last week for a friend's wedding in Greece. I paid for my trip over there, plus bought a present. At the end of the trip I was informed that I owed her £50 for the shoes. I had no idea I was meant to pay for them and at no point was it mentioned that I was expected to. I would not have minded if I had been asked beforehand and had some say in the style and cost. The bride's family paid for everything else, dress, my hair, nails, makeup, fake tan (!- I was told I was too pale, the other bridesmaids were fresh from California). Was on the verge of ebaying the whole outfit but have been told that there is going to be a wedding reception in London after Christmas (probably to get more presents- sorry I have become very cynical!) and I have to get dressed up again.
The moral is, find out beforehand as it will save any bitterness afterwards.

Skint-gall

Imelda wrote:

Hi Emily,

Bit of a sore point with me at the moment! I was a bridesmaid last week for a friend's wedding in Greece. I paid for my trip over there, plus bought a present. At the end of the trip I was informed that I owed her £50 for the shoes. I had no idea I was meant to pay for them and at no point was it mentioned that I was expected to. I would not have minded if I had been asked beforehand and had some say in the style and cost. The bride's family paid for everything else, dress, my hair, nails, makeup, fake tan (!- I was told I was too pale, the other bridesmaids were fresh from California). Was on the verge of ebaying the whole outfit but have been told that there is going to be a wedding reception in London after Christmas (probably to get more presents- sorry I have become very cynical!) and I have to get dressed up again.
The moral is, find out beforehand as it will save any bitterness afterwards.

I am sorry but I don't think it is reasonable to just say you owe me £50 for the shoes! I think you should try talking to your friend.

cupid_s

My sister was my bridesmaid. I paid for her dress, shoes, make-up, hair, hair accessories and jewellery. The only thing I didn't pay for was her £1000 flight to get to the wedding (luckily she had most of that paid by my family so it didn't cost her too much)!

My friend recently got married and expected the bridesmaids to pay for their own hair/make up and shoes. I couldn't believe the cheek. It shouldn't cost you money to be someone's bridesmaid (apart from hen night costs and wedding gift etc). I think it's disgusting for someone, who is spending thousands on getting married and wants you to be a bridesmaid to expect you to pay for things.

Rachie_B

e_m_i_l_y_e_m wrote:

Wow - I didn't expect so many replies! Thanks very much everybody. Apparently I have to sort out my own dress, shoes and most of the bits and bobs but the wedding isn't to far away so i won't have to pay for a hotel etc. Just hope I can get something Ebay-able! I think we are doing our own hair and make-up so it won't come to too much.

:eek:

i am in the " if you ask then you pay" brigade too im afraid we paid for all suit hire / dresses inc accessories etc when we got married

id have felt @ asking them to contribute and would have just had less attendents if we couldnt afford it

I know some couples want a big wedding party but then cant afford to pay and I guess if the attendents dont mind / can afford it then its up to them

is she expecting you to have a "proper" certain BM dress or can you choose the outfit ?

Its as if they are saying " i want you to play a special part in the day but dont want to have to pay for it" lol

skystar

I am also in the "if you ask then you pay" brigade.

I just think it's a blooming cheek to ask for the bridesmaid or best man to cough up. Presumably they have been specially chosen and asked to share the bride and grooms special day. They shouldn't have to go into their own pocket.

Our best man offered to pay for his kilt hire instead of giving us a present. This was because that had been the situation at an earlier wedding he had been too so he thought this was normal. We refused as it was us who decided to get married and it was us who picked him as a best man and us who decided what he would be wearing. We wouldn't have even cared if he had turned up with no present we just wanted him there.