I will get there - No matter what!!

Lea74

Hi,
I have been lurking around the forum for a couple of weeks now and have found the advice and tips given to others so helpful and interesting.

So I have decided to post my story. Please indulge me as this 1st one is a tad long.

So last year, after being with my XH since I was 14 (22 years in total) and being married for 14 years, I found out he was having an A with a work colleague, who is now marrying, and we divorced in May. (He divorced me but that is another story). In addition, I was made redundant in August. Also, broke my coccyx, my wonderful grandmother died and I had a small car accident, not my fault. So all in all 2010 was not a good year.

Having explained all that, the fall out was that I did not keep my eye on the ball with regards to finance. I missed payments, spent money I didnt have to mend my broken heart and also was left with some utilities bills from XH, two massive credit card bills in my name, some private school fees and of course a massive Solicitors bills.

Had a wake up moment at the end of the last year, when my sister suggested I chat to the CAB who were very helpful. I have now completed a SOA with them and contacted all my creditors and make payment arrangments with them. Although I somehow still dont seem to be able to make it work and seem to be always short.

I dont want to sound like a princess but I have never had to deal with household bills. Our jobs were clearly defined. Mine was the hosuehold and kids and XH was the finances. So this is something I am learning to do. Although quite scarey, also very empowering.

Some of the DFW things I have been doing is:

I have sold all my jewerly and that which has sentimental value has been pawned so hoping I will get it back.
Have raided our cupboards and am selling all unneeded items on Ebay.
Doing the groceries on a real tight budget and buying store brands.
Little things like, making sure lights arent left on unneccessarily.
Doing a couple of MS and also surveys.
Not doing excess mileage and trying to group all erands together.
If we do go out for a meal, always use a voucher or kids meals with free refilable drinks and then I dont buy my own.

Anyway sorry for the long posting.

I am absolutely determined to turn things around this year. I did a snowball calc and I should be debt free Aug 2014.

Thanksf or reading.

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[Deleted User]

Well done, you will get lots of great support and advice on this forum. Sounds like this year will be better than the last

Lea74

Thanks. Sorry if I sound a bit sorry for myself - I dont mean to.

I take full responsibility for my debt and really just want to get on top of it and move on.

dancingfairy

Sounds like a good start to the year. Also everyone here is here because they haven't got on top of their finances - many like you through lack of education so don't worry about that. The good thing is people on here will help and not make you feel like you are asking a silly question.
Onwards and upwards
df

curlytop12

well done you.so sorry about your awful time recently but it seems you are now determined to get your life back on track.i wish you lots of luck,and lots of advice will come your way vie MSE.

Lea74

I signed up to quite a few survey sites. How often do I need to check them?? A couple of times a day or just once??

Thanks,

Yargo1

Good luck Lea74. Like another poster said none of us have been on top of finances which is why we all on here..or else we helping someone we know in that situation.

Not sure about surveys but sure someone who does will answer soon enough

Pollycat

Hi Leah74
I don't think you sound sorry for yourself at all.

It must be hard (and scary) having to start to deal with finance-y stuff when someone else has always taken care of it.
And that's not even taking into account what you've had thrown at you last year.

But you sound like you're getting your head round things so well done for that.

You might want to post your SOA on here to see if anyone can help cutting your bills, here's the standard MSE template:
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

elvis86

Well done you! Sounds like you had a pretty rubbish year, but you should be proud that you've identified your money issues and resolved to solve them so quickly!:)

Many others in your situation would've buried their head in the sand and spent years feeling sorry for themselves and getting into a bigger mess. Best of luck!

Lea74

Sorry just gonna have a quick little rant!! Just found out that the reason that XH cant have our sons this weekend is because he is sunning himself around a pool in Dubai!!!!!!!
This may sound like it makes me bitter but actually it has the opposite effect. I find these types of incidents motivate me even more to become debt free and independant and not rely on anyone financially. (especially not someone who he had an affair with just for her money)
Hope you have a good DFW.

NewStart09

Yes LOL, just add one more thing we have in common with each other:rotfl:

Funny though, as the OH just dont seem to realise they will pay for it later when the kids dont want to visit them!

You have the right approach, like you I am independent financially from my exOH and am seeking to better my life without him!

Have a nice day!

NewStart09