Holidays and the OH

aylithuk

Hi Guys

Need some view points really and a rant

Been with the OH for over 5 years now and during this time we've only had one holiday together (3 days on a city break around Barcelona - if you can count that)

No problems with money. We could afford 1 holiday a year. The problem is that he doesn't like holidays. In Barcelona, apart from the meals out and seeing the fountains he just couldnt wait for it to end

Since then whenever I bring up the subject he goes - do we have too? I've offered holidays in the UK to see if it was just going overseas and he's not interested.

His side is that holidays just go too fast however when you stay at home time goes more slowly before he has to go back to work. :mad:

This is really starting to get to me as i used to go overseas on my own all the time. I even said can I go on my own but he's not even happy with that!!

Dos anyone have the same problem? - maybe even drag their OH 'kicking and screaming' on holiday?

Ay x

Mojisola

There's no need for him to go on holiday if he doesn't want to but he can't stop you getting away. He's got to decide - go with you or see you go on your own.

balletshoes

Its different for me because i have my daughter to take on holiday - but I have gone on holiday more often with her and without my OH than we have had family holidays abroad.

Occasionally he does mention us all going on a family holiday, but its not come to anything in the last 3 or 4 years. We do have holidays here in the UK all together at least once a year, which he enjoys. But he just gets bored with sun holidays, and I usually take my daughter to Disneyland on my own because we both love it and it would be his worst nightmare :rotfl:.

I see nothing wrong in having separate holidays if you have completely different ideas of a good holiday. I went on holiday abroad with my friend and her toddler when my daughter was about 3, I asked my OH if he wanted to come but he didn't want to, so I went with her instead.

ema_o

It does sound like for you separate holidays is the way forwards. Fair enough if he doesn't Enjoy it (I can't get my head around that but each to their own) but if he's preventing you fromgoing away that is going to build resentment, and there is no need especially if you're happy to go alone or with a friend.

I think you forcing him to go, or him forcing you not to go are both equally bad things. You don't want to be away with someone who can't wait to get home!

lisaloo1977

Maybe the time goes more slowly at home, could be turned round by you and reply with yes life goes quicker when you actually live your life, plenty of time to go slow or indeed stop when your times up.

Don't look back on your life with regret one day at all the places, or things you did not see or do. If you oh won't go, nothing at all to stop you going and if he tries to stop you that's a whole other relationship problem.

Good luck.

busiscoming2

I am a bit confused, you say he doesn't like going abroad as the time goes too quickly, but you only went for a few days. Have you both together ever been for longer? Could he not book a fortnight off and have one week at home and one abroad?

Why could he not wait for it to end? It sounds more like a case of 'can't wait to get back to work'.

Nottoobadyet

Go alone. My OH spends his holidays going home to see his family rather than going on "hols", which is fine and I get to have my own adventures since I don't go home as often. We do go away for the occasional big trip together, but obviously wouldn't if he didn't enjoy it.

Maybe you can come back from a week away (Morocco? Turkey? France? New York? Think of all the places out there to see!) bubbling with so many pictures and memories that he'll give it a go next time around.

Pollycat

When you say your OH is not happy about you going on holiday without him, what exactly do you mean by that?

Has he said you can't go?
Or has he said he's not keen on the idea?
You say you could afford 1 holiday a year - would he feel resentful if you were off enjoying yourself and spending money without him?
Would you go alone or with a friend?

If he says you can't go, then I think he's being unfair on you and I'd sit him down and tell him you either both go or you go alone and he has to decide which he wants.

Sambucus_Nigra

aylithuk wrote: »

Since then whenever I bring up the subject he goes - do we have too?

'No dear WE don't have to but I am going to. You are welcome to come and enjoy yourself or sit here at home with a cork up your ar.se. You have one week to come up with ideas or I'm taking [insert friend, family member] or just going on my own. Those are your options. think wisely before choosing them.'

Toothfairy4

^ This!

Decide where you would like to go, find maybe 3 different options and put them in front of him. Tell him you need a holiday and you would like to book it, does he want to come or not?

Simple as that, you obviously love travelling and can afford to do it. He should realise he is stopping you doing what you love and quit being selfish. If he does not want to come then fine but to say he is not happy with you going alone....?!

Errata

Successful results happen when both sides win. I would guess this bloke has more than two weeks holiday leave a year, so one week of it at home and one week of it away on holiday with the OP would seem a reasonable compromise for both to make.