Spiralling like spaghetti

Carbonara_2

Not really sure where I'm going with all this, other than hopefully a bit of concentration and a note of my determination to be debt free.
I've looked through the boards on countless occasions to glean advice and have been filled with all sorts of emotions at how much everyone else is going through and deals with. Yet never really feeling in a position to be able to re-offer advice while I'm still in this hole...

I've had several 'light-bulb-moments', which have always led to a very pro-active couple of days/weeks and ultimately a bit more savvy. But, having just hit 25 and realising I need to take more control to get rid of my debts, I feel it's time to get a bit more serious and be more pro-active for good.

I've got 2 main 'problems' that I see; 1/ dealing with solo debt on a 'joint' income, 2/ sticking to a budget. I seldom have a month without an 'extravagent' purchase which dents my 'budget' and I allow to be shoe horned in somehow, somewhere.

Tonight, I've been going through finances again only to realise my 'getting a hold of debt' has actually led to a further £1k on credit cards. Which aren't on low APRs. I've also figured out my 'final payment date' which is in 2 years, 11 months and 6 hrs... or something. Sick. 28 yrs old.

Things to note so far; 1/ 2 car family to 1, 2/ massive reduction in takeways (which made up approx. 50% (+) of 'meals'), 3/ no holidays (from 3 'extravagent' holidays a year, long-haul).

On the other hand, there are some 'joint' expenses that I am 'happy' to continue spending on the basis that they are 'joint' and compromising can sometimes be difficult. This will become more evident in my expenditure.

My total debt totals: £15319.02. But, I've just made over payments of £29.08 & £67.26. Hooray.
This has come partly from eBay sales and also from 'spare' cash that needs to go towards debt but if isn't used to do so quickly will very easily go towards a take-a-way, lovely new dress which 'was such a bargain in H&M or similar... I've just listed some more stuff on eBay (aiming for 2-3 items a week from a 7 bag Ikea stash of things to go), need to do a car boot and also find somewhere to take a bag of old university books off my hands (tried Amazon, Book Barn, several University book sites) as well as offering them for free to the local library/university - all negative so far...

Right, fingers crossed for a positive outcome and dedication to what's been started a number of times...

bottleofred

Hi Carbonnara,

The best thing for you to do would be to list your statement of affairs so you can get advice on how to save money which can then go towards the debts. http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html You should also buy a small notebook (the Co-Op had some for less than £1 and keep a spending diary to see where the cash is going. You need to record absolutely everything in the spending diary though (even a packet of chewing gum etc).

dollybeads

Hey Carbonara

would just like to follow what Bottleofred has said already, post your SOA on here and you will be inundated with lots of really helpful and practical advice from the lovely DFwers on this site.

The spending diary, monthly budget and weekly meal plan is the simplest thing you can do, but will save you the most money. I started with a -£43,00 per month to a saving of £370.00 per month, all to put towards paying off my debts earlier.

Wishing you every bit of luck with your debt busting and looking forward to seeing how your progress. Dolly x

Carbonara_2

Ok. Here goes.
First up, I'm not sure if should more be in the DFW Diary section? If it should, sorry! Can I move it? Or should I delete it & start again?
Second, I've spent the majority of the day listing things on eBay and sorting through things that would be more appropriately sold at a car boot. I've also pencilled in a day when I can go to the car boot and have made myself that I won't not go like I have the previous 2 I've already said I'll do this year....!
Third, I've been looking at a SOA and have been getting myself ever so confused with where to put things and where. Then it dawned on me. The reason I can't get things to add up is that I'm looking more at the SOA as a budget, when in reality it's a clear view of what you are *actually* spending, so that you can see where you need to cut down. Sorted.
The only other difficulty I'm having with this is the unknown 'joint' things that we buy that sometimes I'll get, sometimes I won't. But, I'll put in what I think to be accurate so I know what I need to spend.

Doingmybest2bgoodhurrah

Hello Carbonara

This is only a small contribution - I see you want to get rid of some books. I take mine to a local second hand book dealer. I don't get a huge sum for them, but it all helps. There's bound to be one near you. I take a few at a time, but never make a special trip - I tie it in with other reasons to go into town to keep my travel costs as low as poss. You might find they offer you cash or even a choice of a couple of books in exchange, which could make a nice pressie for someone?

You will find when you have posted your soa that the advice from the good & wise folk on here will come flooding in.

All the best x

Quenastoise

Regarding the joint expenses, do you have an agreement with OH about what comes out of each others's pockets, or do you spend on an ad hoc basis ?

For the first 10 years of our marriage, he paid for "his" things and I paid for "my" things. For instance the car was his responsability in terms of maintenance and finance but I was a passenger, so there were grumbles about me not paying towards it. 5 years ago we moved to a joint account with a great deal of apprehension on my part but now that I am managing our joint income and expenditure (he's not that interested in that, no chance of seeing him here ), we don't argue about money. I am not suggesting that you go that way with your OH because I don't know about the other aspects of your relationship, but perhaps you could agree on a list of items that are undoubtedly joint and then perhaps each of you puts so much each month into a separate bank account to cover such expenditure ?

dollybeads

Doingmybest2bgoodhurrah wrote: »

Hello Carbonara

This is only a small contribution - I see you want to get rid of some books. I take mine to a local second hand book dealer. I don't get a huge sum for them, but it all helps. There's bound to be one near you. I take a few at a time, but never make a special trip - I tie it in with other reasons to go into town to keep my travel costs as low as poss. You might find they offer you cash or even a choice of a couple of books in exchange, which could make a nice pressie for someone?

You will find when you have posted your soa that the advice from the good & wise folk on here will come flooding in.

All the best in your signature from Regan x

Love your quote x;)

dollybeads

Carbonara wrote: »

Ok. Here goes.
First up, I'm not sure if should more be in the DFW Diary section? If it should, sorry! Can I move it? Or should I delete it & start again?
Second, I've spent the majority of the day listing things on eBay and sorting through things that would be more appropriately sold at a car boot. I've also pencilled in a day when I can go to the car boot and have made myself that I won't not go like I have the previous 2 I've already said I'll do this year....!
Third, I've been looking at a SOA and have been getting myself ever so confused with where to put things and where. Then it dawned on me. The reason I can't get things to add up is that I'm looking more at the SOA as a budget, when in reality it's a clear view of what you are *actually* spending, so that you can see where you need to cut down. Sorted.
The only other difficulty I'm having with this is the unknown 'joint' things that we buy that sometimes I'll get, sometimes I won't. But, I'll put in what I think to be accurate so I know what I need to spend.

Hi Carbonara, love your name, love carbonara mmmmmm

You are absolutely in the right place no need to move or change anything. Post your soa if anything is in the wrong place, people on here will tell you and ask for anything that is missing. It is a bit daunting to start, I know up till posting on here for the first time, I hadn't even looked at my statements for months, let alone sharing it with anyone else. But the beauty of this site is that you remain anonymous, and you will receive tons of really helpful, practical and achievable advice that can quickly impact your situation. Its free, not compulsory and everyone on here has your best interests at heart, as most have been there, done that and some! Please don't be embarrassed by your situation, as MSE Martin says, he has never come across a debt that cannot be resolved. All it takes is the courage to post (this should not be underestimated) it does take courage, but it will be the best leap of faith you ever make, promise!

Look forward to hearing your progress, hang in there, we are rooting for you Dolly x

Carbonara_2

Best intentions....

And I thought 7 months ago it really was it. Everything was under control & I'd be moving forward. Man this is so difficult.
Thank you to all of you who have posted. I have spent yet another day today trying to get my head around all this money business and know what to do for the best. Everyone I speak to seems to be able to offer advice but I have no idea who's right.

So. In answer to the questions above, joint expenses are split 50/50. We have a joint account that takes both salaries and all direct debits & standing orders come out of here. We then 'pay' ourselves £40/week each into 2 standard current accounts for general spending (nights out, take away, hair cuts, petrol). That way the difference in our income is irrelevant as is the debt we pay - it's all together. But we have our 'own' money.

On a positive note, I finally managed to shift the books. All of them :-)

I think my biggest problem at the moment is trying to juggle too many balls. We have the possibilty of buying the house we are currently renting in the next few months, which we both want to do. But obviously that comes with trying to save for a deposit. I know I've read a million times that you should never have savings when you are in debt but I am just so eager to try and settle somewhere long-term and have some stability (I've moved 6 times in the last 7 years - not good for my credit rating or mental health!). We've managed to save £6k, which I'm really proud of, but it all feels pointless as I worry that we won't get accepted for a mortgage and be back at square 1. We have never defaulted on a payment, never missed a payment. We sometimes go into our joint overdraft but this is cleared on payday each month.

I've begun meal planning and am finding this is really working & helping to stick to the £40 budget. It's also helping my waist-line stay down - every cloud :-)
I've quit smoking and while I never used to spend loads on it, every little helps.

I'm trying to figure out my SOA so will post that shortly.

Carbonara_2

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2013
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1675
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3688

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 625
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 115
Electricity............................. 6
Gas..................................... 6
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 23
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 80
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 45
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 160
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 160
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 20
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 60
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 23
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 160
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Home Study.............................. 89
Total monthly expenses.................. 1655


Assets
Cash.................................... 5800
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 3000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 8800

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Loan 1.........................6008.24...238.5.....0
Loan 2.........................1440......135.5.....0
Virgin.........................3044.91...55........18
Mastercard2....................1300......30........0
Mastercard1....................4003.19...50........0
Total unsecured debts..........15796.34..509.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,688
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,655
Available for debt repayments........... 2,033
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 509
Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,524

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 8,800
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -15,796.34
Net Assets.............................. -6,996.34

A few notes from reading through that:
Mobile phone is for both of ours, roughly £40/each/month - have tried to reduce this but we're tied in cos of the type of phone we have... Suckers I know. There is approx. another 18 months left on our contracts.

Telephone, cable & TV are split roughly between the categories as we pay one amount to Sky monthly.

Car maintenance, tax, insurance is again split roughly as we put £100/month into a savings account so we can pay for MOT, tax & insurance in one lump sum, rather than the 50% interest they wanted to charge last year :-)

elsiepac

Hi Carbonara - loving the name

Here's a few notes:

Carbonara wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2013
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1675
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3688

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 625
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 115
Electricity............................. 6 very low - correct?
Gas..................................... 6 as above
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 23
Telephone (land line)................... 20 slightly high with the mobiles as well - I note this is part of your Sky package - worth checking if they're including free minutes in there and ask if they can take them off as I bet your mobiles have tons!
Mobile phone............................ 80 high as you've noted, assuming iPhones or similar. Might be worth trying to get a tariff reduction if you can without it costing you more (requires assessment of how much of your "free" mins, texts etc you use) - this is worth trying after 3 months but unlikely, and more likely after 6 months. It won't extend your contract but it is up to the provider if they will let you
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 45 actually, thinking about it, that's one heck of a Sky package! I used to pay £30 ish with movies for mine, which included phone and internet, although not line rental, after I argued them down. If you're out of contract, phone and threaten to leave - guaranteed they'll knock some of it down, at least for 6 months - SO worth doing I can't tell you!
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 160 good for two people, still worth having a look on Old Style to see if you can knock a bit off
Clothing................................ 0 probably should allow a little something here unless your wardrobes are bursting at the seams!
Petrol/diesel........................... 160 any way to cut down?
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 20
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 60
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0 get free prescriptions? Never see a dentist?
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 23
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 0 never?
Entertainment........................... 160 I reckon this should be double if it's the £40 per week that you guys pay yourselves each. Plus, £160 is the 4 weekly figure, not the monthly figure, so you haven't factored in the odd 5 week month that you'll see if you only do this. I think this should be it: £40 x 52 weeks = £2080 / 12 months = £173.33 per month x 2 people = £346.67
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0 might be worth starting one!
Home Study.............................. 89
Total monthly expenses.................. 1655


Assets
Cash.................................... 5800
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 3000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 8800

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Loan 1.........................6008.24...238.5.....0
Loan 2.........................1440......135.5.....0
Virgin.........................3044.91...55........18
Mastercard2....................1300......30........0
Mastercard1....................4003.19...50........0
Total unsecured debts..........15796.34..509.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,688
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,655
Available for debt repayments........... 2,033
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 509
Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,524

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 8,800
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -15,796.34
Net Assets.............................. -6,996.34

A few notes from reading through that:
Mobile phone is for both of ours, roughly £40/each/month - have tried to reduce this but we're tied in cos of the type of phone we have... Suckers I know. There is approx. another 18 months left on our contracts.

Telephone, cable & TV are split roughly between the categories as we pay one amount to Sky monthly.

Car maintenance, tax, insurance is again split roughly as we put £100/month into a savings account so we can pay for MOT, tax & insurance in one lump sum, rather than the 50% interest they wanted to charge last year :-)