Trouble with kids in the same street

Tropez

lindseykim13 wrote: »

I agree but i also don't find it acceptable for a 12yr old to be punching a 6yr old (hes only just turned 6) and the father won't do anything about it. What concerns me the most is when all 4 of them gang up on one of mine and stop him from even getting indoors. I know this happened and don't see that as normal fighting.

I don't think it is acceptable. Part of the reason why we have so much youth crime is due to the fact that people think that criminal behaviour from teenagers shouldn't be a police matter - we're teaching our youth there are no consequences for their actions.

A twelve year old knows exactly the damage they can inflict on a child even a couple of years younger, never mind twice as young. It only takes one punch to knock a kid down and there could be tragic consequences. Such events are rare, thankfully, but why run the risk? Studies have shown a correlation between violent behaviour as a child and criminal violent behaviour as an adult and violent behaviour as a child that goes unchecked can lead to a number of potentially dangerous social problems as an adult.

I would contact the police and if your children are on your property then you are within your rights to use surveillance systems and if such surveillance showed an attack by these kids on yours I would use this as evidence of assault and press charges.

thorsoak

I think that you have to be a bit pro-active here - and you are going to have to keep an eye on things. When you see 12 year old coming over to "play" you are going to have to go outside and say "sorry - but you lot never play nicely together and start arguing so X & Y are coming inside now - until you can ALL learn to play nicely, you can't play together. If anyone else wants to come in the back garden and play with X & Y you will be welcome - but A, B, C & D aren't welcome".

Won't get you any popularity points with A B C & D's parents - but it might start to get the message across.

rachbc

thorsoak is right - with 8 yo you can;t expect them o predict trouble or come in just incase- you have to come up with some strategies - get the back garden sorted so you can call them in and monitor the situation more closely. The other 4 will get the message soon enough.

lucylucy

I've been in a similar situation and it's absolutely heartbreaking to see your child picked on and come home crying day after day.

Do the other two little ones get any trouble from the older 4? Do you speak to their parents?

I think you and the parents of the other two should chat if possible and maybe agree that your little ones cannot play with the older 4.
If all the little ones disappear indoors or one of the parents joins them as soon as the older 4 arrive they may give up coming over since they can't have their fun anymore.

pupsicola

thorsoak wrote: »

I think that you have to be a bit pro-active here - and you are going to have to keep an eye on things. When you see 12 year old coming over to "play" you are going to have to go outside and say "sorry - but you lot never play nicely together and start arguing so X & Y are coming inside now - until you can ALL learn to play nicely, you can't play together. If anyone else wants to come in the back garden and play with X & Y you will be welcome - but A, B, C & D aren't welcome".

Won't get you any popularity points with A B C & D's parents - but it might start to get the message across.

I completely agree with this. Also the poster who said that at 8yo your child is too young to predict trouble, is right. You have tried sorting this out and reasoning/working with the other kids parent. He has shown an arrrogant disregard for the whole situation. So now is time for some blunt straight talking.

Doesn't matter if you dont win any popularity points. I should think this neighbour has/will fall out with most people on your road eventually with his approach. All that matters is making sure your kids aren't upset and hurt anymore.

Good luck, it must be a horrid situation to be in.

sassyblue

thorsoak wrote: »

I think that you have to be a bit pro-active here - and you are going to have to keep an eye on things. When you see 12 year old coming over to "play" you are going to have to go outside and say "sorry - but you lot never play nicely together and start arguing so X & Y are coming inside now - until you can ALL learn to play nicely, you can't play together. If anyone else wants to come in the back garden and play with X & Y you will be welcome - but A, B, C & D aren't welcome".

Won't get you any popularity points with A B C & D's parents - but it might start to get the message across.

I think this is excellant advice, also l know you don;t like confrontation but IMO you have to express yourself 'loudly' the first time which makes sure the family know you won't take any of their carp in future. I don't care what people think of me but they won't 5hit on me twice.

Aswell as doing what thorsoak says if the father (or mother) says anything in future let them know their little angels are banned from playing with your kids until they can play without being violent (yes l would use that word) and even then if they step over the line you've told your kids to hit them back twice as hard.

LJM

it is a shame that kids have to behave like this basically it is bullying. my girls play out the front a lot when weather is nice with friends from up the road from us so both us parents can always see and keep an eye on the kids. luckily enough we live on a pretty quiet road and there are not really any older children about apart from when cousins come to play. i really feel for you you dont want the kids to be scared to go out to play but then you dont want them to get hurt either. i had trouble when my youngest was being continually slaaped in the face her friend is a lot bigger than she is and can be quite spiteful and my youngest got quite scared of her and this was at school :eek: i knew the parent and told her teacher that if they didnt stop it then i would. what happened to playing nicely without bullying i know there is rough and tumble play and im fine with that but to physically and knowingly inflict pain upon some one else really upsets me

lindseykim13

thorsoak wrote: »

I think that you have to be a bit pro-active here - and you are going to have to keep an eye on things. When you see 12 year old coming over to "play" you are going to have to go outside and say "sorry - but you lot never play nicely together and start arguing so X & Y are coming inside now - until you can ALL learn to play nicely, you can't play together. If anyone else wants to come in the back garden and play with X & Y you will be welcome - but A, B, C & D aren't welcome".

Won't get you any popularity points with A B C & D's parents - but it might start to get the message across.

Thankyou i will deff do this, i will make sure i keep an extra close eye on them and make it clear that these kids aren't welcome near mine. Hopefully they will get the message to leave mine alone.