Trouble with kids in the same street

lindseykim13

sorry for the long post

My boys are 8&6 and made friends with a couple of kids a few doors down at the end of the summer. They've been quite happily playing out the front of the house on the green most evenings and weekends since then. Another household of kids (4 of them all older, 3 boys 1 girl aged from 10-13) started coming out and joining in which was ok for a while until these kids started pinching toys and hitting, kicking my eldest.
I'm not saying mine are innocent and i know kids fight but one day it got to the point where they surrounded him and blocked him from getting back in the gate and punched/kicked him until i heard all the noise by which point they'd legged it.
I probably should have gone around there and said something but i'm not the type to cause trouble and just want to live in peace! so told him just to keep away from them and come inside if they came out in future.

Since then there has been minor goings on where these kids come over and start taking toys and generally annoying my 2. Each time they've been told to come in if they aren't happy.
Now they go out this evening and apparantly there was another of these fights over toys and mine are told to come in. Then while my youngest is crying his eyes out because he's been pushed to the ground and punched twice i have this kids dad come over to the house and start telling me how my eldest had hit his 10yr old son with a plastic toy gun.
Now i'm fuming and tell him what my youngest had said and all he was bothered about is me having a word with my eldest about hitting his kid and how my son is getting out of hand! Nothing really got resolved and i told him that i wanted them all to just keep away from eachother.
I then find out once things have calmed down that the only reason my eldest hit this kid was to protect his younger brother. Now this is more of a vent and to ask what others opinions are as this dad thinks his daughter is an angel and wouldn't ever punch anyone when i've seen her do it! Not to mention that he didn't think much about his 12yr old son hitting my 6yr old. This guy is properly stuck up and gives me the impression he thinks he's better than anyone else and his kids do no wrong, even though he admitted they'd had trouble before with other kids!
What do i do? Keep my kids indoors or let them get labelled as holigans for defending themselves and probably get more trouble at my front door from this guy? I'm so angry right now as i've seen the bruises these kids have given and they are quite happy to say myself/husband are lying infront of their parents.

seafarers_wife

ive been there with kids like that when i was younger and parents like that are not going to listen and will beleive their little hooligan is an angel even when being brought home by the police! it will always be someone elses fault never their little darlings.

i would encourage your children to stay away from these brats and the moment anything kicks off to come home straight away. its always the few that spoil it for hte majority.

Counting_Pennies_2

The only thing I can suggest is if you don't own one, borrow a video camera and get it next time, because I am pretty sure there will be a next time if they continue to play out the front.

Failing that, the only solution can be to get them to play at the back, or be out the front when they are.

balletshoes

is there anywhere else your kids can play with the ones they first started playing with, rather than on the communal front green? mine usually play in my back garden or right in front of my house - I don't mind how many kids are there playing because I can keep an eye and ear on them .

as there seem to be issues regularly with the older kids and your 2, I'd be telling mine to come in as soon as they see the older kids, not wait until something happens.

Nicki

The thing is though you are believing your children who are telling you the other kids started it, and the other dad is believing his children who say yours started it. All either of you know is that there was a fight outside involving the two sets of children.

I think all you can do is keep reminding your children that they are not to play with this family and are to come in if they come out. Thinking back to my own childhood however, they won't do it. They'll stay out and all play as a group, and sometimes there will be fights and squabbles which spill over into fisticuffs, and unless you are prepared either to forbid your kids to play out, or to stand outside and supervise them at all times, you are going to have to leave them to get on with it.

JodyBPM

At 8 & 6 surely they should be 100% in your eyeshot at any time. If out on the green, you are too, so you can deal with any issues.

lindseykim13

Thanks for the replies, they have been told to come in now as soon as they see them. They were previously told as long as they keep away there shouldn't be a problem but these kids won't go away! I have said they can bring their friends in the house but it's not always ideal as sometimes the baby is napping and they have prefered to try and stay out there having fun rather than indoors.
I could probably sort it so the kids could play in the back garden (thanks for the suggestion, don't know why i didn't think of it) but currently there is a trampoline in the way of the gate and if they come through the house to get to the garden the baby wants to jump out of the back door!

I will deff get DH to move it though so they have the option to ask their friends in through the back way. Just feeling a bit carp at the mo as i don't like confrontation and i do not want a war starting up. I just don't like this guys attitude and really would rather avoid the police etc but if it comes to it i will as i won't let it happen again.

Can i ask though if these kids do something again which i'm sure they will would you first go around and tell the parents or if bad enough phone the police? I don't want to be around there complaining every 5mins I just haven't had to deal with anything like this before. I wasn't allowed out when i was a kid until i was 12-13 so i'm trying my best to let mine have fun like kids should but i never had these problems myself.

Its such a shame as they enjoy playing out and have made a den etc but these kids are out nearly every day ruining it for the others.

Nicki

I can think of very few circumstances, barring a Jamie Bulger/Mary Bell type situation where I would call the police to sort out children between the ages of 6 and 13 fighting!

lindseykim13

Nicki wrote: »

The thing is though you are believing your children who are telling you the other kids started it, and the other dad is believing his children who say yours started it. All either of you know is that there was a fight outside involving the two sets of children.

I think all you can do is keep reminding your children that they are not to play with this family and are to come in if they come out. Thinking back to my own childhood however, they won't do it. They'll stay out and all play as a group, and sometimes there will be fights and squabbles which spill over into fisticuffs, and unless you are prepared either to forbid your kids to play out, or to stand outside and supervise them at all times, you are going to have to leave them to get on with it.

Thanks thats the thing i was happy to let them get on with it and if they came in telling tales i've always said 'well come in then' but they very rarely do. It was their dad who came knocking at my door throwing accusations around, where as i've seen things with my own eyes that his kids have done and just let it go.

lindseykim13

JodyBPM wrote: »

At 8 & 6 surely they should be 100% in your eyeshot at any time. If out on the green, you are too, so you can deal with any issues.

We live in a quiet cul de sac and thats not the case with any of the children in the street. There are kids as young as 4 out playing unsupervised, Mine only recently started playing out and the youngest isn't allowed out without the eldest. They are also not allowed out unless with others or allowed to leave the street so they can be seen from the window.
I'm just trying to give my kids a bit of a freedom in their childhood unlike what i had as i never went out.
Is there an age at which kids should/shouldn't be allowed out to play? Like i say i'm just trying my best to keep them safe but allow some freedom. My friends 8yr old go's to the shop and library alone :eek:

lindseykim13

Nicki wrote: »

I can think of very few circumstances, barring a Jamie Bulger/Mary Bell type situation where I would call the police to sort out children between the ages of 6 and 13 fighting!

I agree but i also don't find it acceptable for a 12yr old to be punching a 6yr old (hes only just turned 6) and the father won't do anything about it. What concerns me the most is when all 4 of them gang up on one of mine and stop him from even getting indoors. I know this happened and don't see that as normal fighting.