Son stressed with gcse studies

uolypool

Hi all , I recieved a phone call from my 16yr old sons form tutor yesterday, he has requested to drop one of his gcse courses.I know he has been struggling with the course and just cannot seem to get to grips with it .He is only months off taking the final exams.He breifly told me a few weeks ago that he wanted to drop the course but said no more.He has told his tutor that he is not sleeping properly, he is worried all the time and his health I believe is beginning to suffer, he spends anything upto 6-7 hours every weekday night doing school work, then most of the weekend .I am at a loss of what to suggest to him:(.Obviously his health and well being is my main concern and even if he drops this one course he is still on course to achieve 11 gcses in the summer.I feel very guilty as he is a young carer and does an awful lot for me due to my medical condition.I don't even know what I am asking on here think I just needed to put the words down

sarah*a

What did his Form Tutor say? Do they think he should drop it or were they asking you to try to change his mind?

IMO I'd say let him drop it. (I'm assuming it's not Maths or English?) Just by dropping the one subject it might lift him so much that he won't even worry about the rest.

The reason for my opinion is this: My DD is taking her GCSE's this year (right now!) and until last year her best friend also attended her school. Just after the start of Lower 5th her best friend started to struggle with a few subjects she had chosen and, after much discussion with her parents, asked the school if she could drop one or two of them so she could concentrate on the others. The school refused :mad: She continued to get stressed and behind in ALL her studies - so she asked her parents to remove her from the school and they found another school willing to take her and she now does just the GCSE's she wants to (still 9 or 10 I believe).

The change in her has been amazing - you could see physically the strain on her and it has just lifted and she has returned to the bright happy girl we've always known rather than a withdrawn unhappy wreck of a child.

Let him drop it - he can always go back to it when he has more time to focus on the one subject.

ETA: Lower 5th is the same as Year 10 (although when I was at school it was 4th year ) I always forget that DD's school is odd like that :rotfl:

:cool:

onlyroz

Is it normal to take 11-12 GCSEs? At my school you "only" did 9, and that seemed plenty...

Becles

onlyroz wrote: »

Is it normal to take 11-12 GCSEs? At my school you "only" did 9, and that seemed plenty...

At my sons school they do 10, but my son is doing 11 as he's doing triple science which is an extra GCSE but they don't get any extra timetable for it so it's a lot of study at home.

OP - what course is it? Is there any home learning books or websites that can help? My sons science teach was talking about Bite Size web pages and recommends children use those.

His German teacher recommended using the xbox or whatever! He said you get too bogged down doing say 3 hours of German revision, so he recommended doing half an hour German, then half an hour on the xbox, then half an hour German and so on.

JC9297

Yes 11 or 12 are typical, but this may include 2 english, maths, 2 or 3 science, ICT and Citizenship as compulsory subjects (ICT and citizenship often completed by end of year 10), and then 4 chosen subjects.

OP I would question why (and how) your son is doing 7 hours work on an evening, he can't be getting that much homework. Is he spending this time revising, perhaps he is putting too much pressure on himself and needs to ease off a bit.

POPPYOSCAR

I would let him drop it. Exams are important yes, but the well being of your son is more important and it sounds like he is doing more than enough already - I would be very proud of him.

freda

As long as its not an 'important' one i.e. maths, english, or anything related to a career he is interested in, I'd let him drop it. He can always take GCSEs as extra curricular studies later on at college if he wants to.

I'd also have a chat with him about maybe finding some extra help with his studies. Can you afford a tutor for a few months to help him? They are around £20 per hour. If not, can you have a chat with any of your friends to see if any of them have any A levels in the subjects he could do with a bit of help on, or any work experience that would help him learn?

6-7 hours on a weekday night sounds too much. He can't be using his time effectively. Does he plan his study, has he made a timetable p[lanning what to learn over the next few weeks and months? Ask his tutor for advice on helping him plan his revision and study. Maybe there is a teacher he could see after school to give him guidance.

Does the school provide extra study sessions? Most schools do, in lunch times or after school. Ask about this and encourage him to attend. He'll get more 1:1 attention in a class of people who WANT to learn in that situation which will benefit him immensly.

Mupette

DS is at the same stage about to do his GCSE's

was at the school a few weeks back for parents evening, i was given the school report a few days ago, no longer does any teacher write about ds it just set out as, estimated exam result, expected exam result and actuall exam result.

the last few months i was under the impression that DS would get a C
apart from his I.T. stuff where he is put down for distinction/merit or something.

But seeing his report and tutor, and from whas DS has been telling me, it's D's all the way apart from the I.T.

Maths[STRIKE] is[/STRIKE] was the biggest problem, maths teacher is also head of maths (so no exuses you would think), maths teacher has taken a dislike to ds, and in turn ds has acted on this and doesn't do well in class, they have given up on each other.

I told his form tutor that, as a teacher, if you take a dislike to a pupil you should put that to one side, your and adult and it is your job to teach, ds doesn't mess about in class or anything silly, but he struggles big time with the way maths is taught, teacher wil not show him alternative ways.

So i suggested that if he is doing this to ds, what other children is he doing this too, the reply was 'oh but everyone loves him' i said that head of year or not, if he can't teach ds, then an explanation is needed as ds was getting worked up about it and getting no where.

DS took it upon himself to be dropped down into the next set down, and in a space of 2 weeks, the old cheerful happy relaxed ds is back.
Enjoys maths, understands it.. and annoyingly the old maths teacher knew when ds started in his class that he was struggling, yet has not done anything to help.. so expect rotten grades for maths.

English, teacher has lost ds, coursework, i assumed that if teacher admits liability then they have to just give they grade they estimated he would of got for that particular piece of work... nope ds has to do it all over again, by missing other lessons, ok ds isn't bothered it gets him out of p.e. and music, both of which he will get a D he is tone deaf and no good at music, and P.E. teacher said he doesnt do well with contact sports but the lad will always be prepared to give everything a go.

English course work being redone has it's bonus, its Shakespear that ds hates, original coursework was 2 pages, he has been chuffed to pieces that he is on page 7 now by re doing it.

I too have been worried as the next few months are the important ones, ds seems to have his school life back on track (phew) so if dropping a subject is going to help your ds, maybe if he is going to 6th form or college he can do it there?

Importantly it's about getting your son back, without the stress and pressures. It took DS to drop a set in maths to make all the difference, the teacher comes to him and sits and explains anything he doesn't get (old teacher used to just shrug shoulders and ignore)
new teacher is happy as DS is actually getting work done, and right and is no longer struggling.

uolypool do what you think is right, i know your personal situation, so i can completely understand, get this sorted and the rest will fall into place.... you know re pm. ((hug))

peachyprice

That seems like an awful lot of time spent at home working, even for GCSE's, is this work he is choosing to load himself with or is it the school? What does it say in his homework diary?

TBH, if he wants to drop a subject, I would let him. From a further education point of view it is better to not take the GCSE at all than to get a D or below, if he doesn't take the exam he won't have to 'declare' it anywhere, which is better than putting down a D.

However, we have recently been looking at entry requirements for college to do A levels and also Uni entrance requirements. For A levels the vast majority of courses require 5 A*-C GCSE's, not the 10-12 that are actually being taken, so to drop a subject or 2 even would be of no detriment whatsoever. For most uni courses GCSE English and maths at B or above are required, and the rest depends on your A level results.

Is your son aware of this? Or is he under the impression that he has to get A's in all subjects to go further? Perhaps you can explain this to him and he will ease off the pressure he/the school is putting himself under.

Mojisola

Is there any way you could take the pressure of being a young carer of him? If he's going to go to uni then he won't be around to help for much longer and you'll have to make other arrangements then. Start now and let him see you coping without his input - that will take a lot of pressure of him.

Bennifred

Absolutely agree with the other posters - as long as the subject he wants to drop isn't English or Maths, let him drop it. Much better for him to do well in fewer subjects, and be a happier child!