Slander or Gossip?

purple-smartie

Is it possible the third party who imformed you of the gossip was making it up to cause trouble. Sometimes the people who you think are your friends dont always turn out to be.

tawnyowls

Debt_Free_Chick wrote:

I'm not convinced that gossip alone could lose your job. It would be a brave and stupid employer that dismissed on the basis of gossip with no investigation and no opportunity for you to respond.

If it was an ordinary job, I'd agree, but the OP works in a school - not clear if she's a a teacher or not, but if she's got anything to do with kids, then it's likely to be taken very seriously. Teachers have been suspended for supposedly making advances towards kids, using corporal punishment, making inappropriate remarks, and so on and so on. Even when the allegations have been completely unfounded and loads of witnesses could prove that, the teacher has been suspended for months, had to go through the trauma of a court case, and even after they've been found not guilty, still had that mud-sticking, 'no smoke without fire' suspicion to contend with.

I don't think there's any room for complacency on this one, and I certainly don't think she should mention it to any of the other teachers, even to laugh it off. It could put ideas into people's heads that would never have occurred to them otherwise.

Tustastic

purple-smartie wrote:

Is it possible the third party who imformed you of the gossip was making it up to cause trouble. Sometimes the people who you think are your friends dont always turn out to be.

This is a very good point. What was the purpose in telling you this story, that cannot be backed up with names? The result is that
a) they have made themselves look like a windup merchant
b) you have been wound up and
c) your weekend has been spoilt.

I agree with the suggestion that you mention the incident in passing to the head or whoever is your line manager - but make sure that you name the person who told you the story. If their name crops up again in connection with upsetting gossip, the management will notice a pattern.

Last but not least, in case this is about someone envying you and wanting to bring you down, make sure you go into work next time with your head held high, a beaming smile on your face and looking positive and cheerful. It infuriates the small-minded and envious.;)

mom23

I really don't agree that it should be mentioned to head or manager, as tawnyowls states "smoke and fire" if op is genuinally (SP)innocent then surely any mention to a person in authority they would have to investigate, and it could get blown out of proportion!
I do agree however that some people get off on telling tales but for what gain!! apat from making your life a misery

edit I really must learn to spell:rotfl:

Chas

I would just ignore it. You don't have any proof that these allegations were even made. You could be stirring up a whole load of trouble for yourself, when there isn't actually a problem.

Incidently, why should working in a primary school mean that an employee can't take drugs in their spare time? I'm not advocating drug taking of any sort but I don't see why employees at schools should be in any more trouble than any other profession? It's nothing to do with the employers unless the effects of the drug taking are evident in the workplace.

suzysue_2

Oh dear I'm getting very jittery again!

I didn't expect to get so many of you responding to my post. Thank you.

Just to clarify a few things you have brought up:
The third party is a friend of a friend, they are both social workers, I have been in her company on numerous occasions over many years and I can see no reason why she should make the story up.
She told my friend what had been said and was in no doubt that the girl making the allegation was talking about me, I have spoken to her just to hear the story first hand.

I have worked at my lovely school as a classroom/ICT teaching assistant for 10years and I would hate anybody there to think badly of me. Let alone it affecting my position.

I am scared that if I do mention it to the head or another member of staff that I will be stirring things up for myself, why would I mention it if I am innocent?...I am innocent!!!

If I ignore it (I really want to bury my head at this point) and it does get back to anybody at the school, then it may of been better to mention it in the first place.

The only thing that I can think of as to why anyone would think I was on 'wizz', is I am slim and I lost loads of weight last year due to an emotional upheaval, I looked horrible! It's taken me a year to put a stone on and to look normal again.

I've still no idea what to do, If I do say anything at school it will probably be to a senior member of staff who I'm pretty close to and see what she thinks.
Thanks again

mom23

Hi Sue
irst off big:grouphug: cos i think you need them.
If you feel that you can comfortably talk to this senior member of staff then i would.
I always feel when you post a new thread you want answers but some are not want you always want to hear!! and you wish you'd never posted:rotfl:
It is a very awkward situation you are in,but as at the mo it is only hearsay i would try and let it blow over! i know it's easier said than done(i am the worlds worst worrier:rotfl: ).
If you have done nothing wrong then don't worry about it.
Feel free to pm me if you want to chat privately (will have to def learn to spell!!) although i am no help on the legal side i am a good listner(sp)
.