Home Education and benefits issue....

pipkin71

bestpud wrote: »

I will never agree that being bullied at school is a good thing and prepares children for 'life' - that makes no sense to me at all.

Agree, bestpud.

I'm glad my girls have not had much experience of bullying. Having heard some of the stories of children who have come out of school though, children close to suicide, it can never be right to assume that bullying is a good thing

Oldernotwiser

Tehya wrote: »

Oh I can answer that, I completed a degree (gaining a first) in computer science with Anglia University a couple of years ago. As an adult learner there are plenty of universities who interview those potential students without paper qualifications. So yes it's more than possible to go to straight to higher Ed without the need for either GCSEs or A Levels.

For mature students it's certainly possible, although they'll want evidence of ability and/or experience; for younger people it's very rare.

Oldernotwiser

pipkin71 wrote: »

Agree, bestpud.

I'm glad my girls have not had much experience of bullying. Having heard some of the stories of children who have come out of school though, children close to suicide, it can never be right to assume that bullying is a good thing

And, of course, it might be the HE child that is the bully, so removing her from school could save a lot of anguish to others.

(Parents always assume that their child would be the victim and somebody else's the perpetrator!)

Oldernotwiser

AliBambee wrote: »

Millions of people out there have never taken an exam or passed a test, yet they are clever, skilled, beautiful people. You don't have to go to school to learn. Life is education. If you want to know the answer you will find it. You don't need a piece of paper to show you how to learn.

And the majority of those millions are unemployed or in dead end jobs, with nothing to look forward to except insecurity and boredom.

Please don't insult people's intelligence by talking about the "University of Life" or I, for one, will throw up!

pipkin71

AliBambee wrote: »

I realise that HE is her and the boys' choice, but it is the lack of support in this area that I find difficult to fathom. Although the Government gives people the option to do this - for whatever reason - there is no structure in place for support - and I mean support, NOT policing.

I should not have, and do not need to defend her right to teach the boys at home should she wish, or our right to support her in it. Whatever others think of that is their own prerogative. Everyone has the right to do what they feel is the best course in life for themselves and their children.

I have said that they get plenty of association with others, both young and old and are very sociable young lads.

There isn't much Government support Ali, as they would rather your children were at school. That said, there are some LEA officers assigned to HE, who are supportive and can offer some help and advice - although not financial support. That is down to the parents to seek out. As I said earlier, there have been grants awarded to groups for educational purposes and I am currently looking at grants in order to set up some science lessons.

You definitely do not need to defend your daughters right to educate her children. All parents are responsible for ensuring that their children receive an edequate full time education suited to their needs, and how you choose to ensure that that education is met, is purely a parent's decision.

You will find that there are many people who don't agree with home ed - my own dad was very unsure to begin with, but even he admits that it was the best thing that I could have done in our circumstances. To see my girls flourish has been amazing.

It's great that your grandchildren get to mix with many people. I love the fact that the children can be friends with people of all ages, and feel comfortable with their friendships.

Fishing sounds excellent in the summer. I hope your grandchildren can do it, and, perhaps given time, it is something your daughter can look to setting up for other local home edders. My own children have skiing lessons and manga art lessons today. The opportunities they have had since coming out of school are fantastic.

Good luck to you all, and good luck with the brainstorming. Even if your daughter went on a training course, she would still be required to look for work, but there are options out there, so as long as she can find something that meets the required 16 hours per week, she will be fine

pipkin71

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

And, of course, it might be the HE child that is the bully, so removing her from school could save a lot of anguish to others.

(Parents always assume that their child would be the victim and somebody else's the perpetrator!)

Possibly, ONW.

I can't say I've always assumed my children would be victims and someone else the perpetrator, mind ??

viktory

bestpud wrote: »

I will never agree that being bullied at school is a good thing and prepares children for 'life' - that makes no sense to me at all.

No, I agree that bullying is not good. Please don’t get the impression that I think bullying is ‘a test of character’ because I don’t. I was rather clumsy in trying to explain (it was late!). I was bullied at school, well perhaps ignored would be a better way of putting it, pretty much all the time I was there. Do I wish I had been home schooled? No, I think that would have been wrong for me. Mind you, I did wish I could go to Mallory Towers!! Interestingly though, I don’t think my negative experiences of school have impacted that dramatically on my life. Perhaps I am stronger than most.

What I was trying to say is that bullying is endemic and the best thing we can do is teach our children how to deal with it. Of course, we also need to demonstrate to both bullies and the bullied that we will not tolerate bulling in any form. What we should not do is run away from it.

From the OP's subsequent posts, it is clear she has had bad experiences at school with her own children and is allowing that to colour her perception. Understandable perhaps, but writing off all schools is foolish.

bestpud

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

And, of course, it might be the HE child that is the bully, so removing her from school could save a lot of anguish to others.

(Parents always assume that their child would be the victim and somebody else's the perpetrator!)

Hehe we all think our child is the best - it goes with the territory! :rotfl:

I can honestly say I look at both sides when mine have any issues though. I actually had a laugh a while ago when I overheard another child coming out of school and slating my dd for doing all sorts!

Of course, 5 minutes later, I heard dd's version! I guess the truth was somewhere inbetween but it did make me smile.

DD has another great friend (out of school) who is as bossy as her and it's lovely how they've mutually agreed they can't always have their way. It makes me smile when I overhear them discussing how to overcome their obvious problem. They'd never have had that chance if her mum and I had rushed in to resolve any of their many fierce arguments, but we both know our daughters and their less than desirable points.

I know some parents can't see fault in their children but we aren't all like that, thankfully!

Of course, the HE child may have been bullying as they were very unhappy at school...

bestpud

viktory wrote: »

No, I agree that bullying is not good. Please don’t get the impression that I think bullying is ‘a test of character’ because I don’t. I was rather clumsy in trying to explain (it was late!). I was bullied at school, well perhaps ignored would be a better way of putting it, pretty much all the time I was there. Do I wish I had been home schooled? No, I think that would have been wrong for me. Mind you, I did wish I could go to Mallory Towers!! Interestingly though, I don’t think my negative experiences of school have impacted that dramatically on my life. Perhaps I am stronger than most.

What I was trying to say is that bullying is endemic and the best thing we can do is teach our children how to deal with it. Of course, we also need to demonstrate to both bullies and the bullied that we will not tolerate bulling in any form. What we should not do is run away from it.

From the OP's subsequent posts, it is clear she has had bad experiences at school with her own children and is allowing that to colour her perception. Understandable perhaps, but writing off all schools is foolish.

I do see where you are coming from. I suppose where we differ is the method we would use to prepare children for a life of bullying.

Schools are often unwilling, or powerless, to deal with prolific bullies so saying it won't be tolerated is not always an option. When my eldest was bullied, I felt utterly powerless despite the support from the school, and actually considered meeting the ringleader in a dark alley. I feel ashamed of that now, but watching your child being destroyed by other children is awful - words can't describe how bad it is.

That said, HE wouldn't have worked for her, for various reasons - it has to be a family decision and it wouldn't have suited her or me at that time. I do wish I'd moved her to a different school though, but who knows if that would have worked or not...?

My youngest dd is in a very good school but her results do not reflect her ability. I see her struggle daily to keep her position near bottom of the class - everyone acknowledges she is working very hard (the poor kid is exhausted when she gets home) but we can't get any help for her because she is holding her own.

That's the problem with state education for me - it caters to the majority and, sadly, despite being happy with other aspects of school, my dd is not suited to the way they learn.

It boils down to different strokes for different folks and thank goodness we have choices.

StrongWork

AliBambee wrote: »

Pieces of paper, although sadly a prerequisite of our modern world, are merely an opinion. One person, or a body, deciding what another will know. Throughout the centuries, what has driven our industrial, scientific and academic achievements was not pieces of paper, but curiosity, enthusiasm, natural intelligence, encouragement, purpose, persistence, initiative and determination. These are the qualities that our children need to be infused with, whether through the education system or through us as parents. You don't need pieces of paper to nurture those things - just a good dose of them yourself. The information is out there - shedloads of it. If you can show the kids how to find it, that's the only true qualification a teacher needs.

You'll never get a chance to further yourself in industrial or scientific fields without formal qualifiations. Those at the cutting edge of research are typically highly qualified. That's just how it is. A mature student doing computing at an ex polytechnic or someone else doing colouring in are not exceptions to the rule.

Your above post although very optimistic, is unfortunately somewhat naive and far too idealistic. Formal exams are required to demonstrate competency in a given subject/field.

Without sounding very very harsh, with this kind of airy fairy attitude it comes as no surprise to me that your children were bullied at school. I know that sounds scandalously terrible (and I'm not in any way saying they deserved it at all), but the whole thing suggests of individuals not wanting to face up to the real world.

Apologies for sounding like a git, but I do think that's the case.