Wearing black to a wedding?

lostinrates

puddy wrote: »

i find the rules that people are quoting are bizarre. who said that black cant be worn, who said it was rude, inappropriate etc etc??

Tradition. It is a colour of mourning..in fact traditionally even in deepest mourning you didn't wear black to a wedding...so it ''means'' accoring to tradition..I doubt many poeple mean it...that you despair at the match.

Incidentally I have an acquaintance well known for wearing black. She has a couple of very expensive outfits for weddings and christenings...but we all know its a huge concession for her. To the funeral of a family member she hated she wore her grey suit. We all realised that she was celebrating his passing. Although a very strong statement I think that was distasteful....her meaning, unlike the unintended black to a wedding thing was clear.

I guess these small things of our culture...the subtext of clothes and colour really don't matter to most, but to those who do feel strongly about culture and tradition they do they really do. The fact that people are talking about Middleton sort of proves it. Actually she made another clothing trangression I think....but hey ho!

Have a wonderful time whatever you decide on OP. Most importantly I hope its a happy day for all.

edit: one final note on those who really struggle to understand that some people might be offended....would you wear a filthy boiler suit on a date? or wear wear an evening dress to an interview for an office job or an engineer's role? Clothes have appropriacies....practical and social.

Jacks_xxx

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

:rotfl: I would have felt like turning up in nipple tassles just to be defiant!

I did feel like doing exactly that!

belfastgirl23

Jacks_xxx wrote: »

Just for me as far as I know.

Ew ...you were very very nice going at all after that!!

cte1111

I didn't like it when one of my husband's relatives wore black to our wedding, so no I wouldn't wear the black dress. Obviously opinion is divided as you can see from the varied responses.

Is there anyone you could maybe borrow some items from? It would be a shame if you had to shell out on something if you are unlikely to wear it again.

Jacks_xxx

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Ew ...you were very very nice going at all after that!!

I certainly considered not going, especially when we totted up how much it was going to cost to attend this particular wedding. :eek:

I decided to take the view that if she genuinely thought her husband's friend, a woman in her thirties who attended four or five weddings every year (except for 2005 when it was 16 weddings :eek:) doesn't know what to wear in church, then I guess she did the only thing she could do.

puddy

tradition has to start somewhere and end somewhere, by definition it outlives its use or belief

the heavy and full wearing of black came into its own in victorian times, similarly these rules about wedding attire especially brides dresses are relatively recent (150 odd years)

your analogy about boiler suits is not relevant, we are talking about colour of clothing not type of clothing. some clothing is for various types of utility. the op didnt ask whether she should wear a boiler suit to the wedding, that is a different discussion

Torry_Quine

puddy wrote: »

tradition has to start somewhere and end somewhere, by definition it outlives its use or belief

the heavy and full wearing of black came into its own in victorian times, similarly these rules about wedding attire especially brides dresses are relatively recent (150 odd years)

For many people though the association of black clothes and funerals will never make it appropriate for weddings though.

lostinrates

puddy wrote: »

tradition has to start somewhere and end somewhere, by definition it outlives its use or belief

the heavy and full wearing of black came into its own in victorian times, similarly these rules about wedding attire especially brides dresses are relatively recent (150 odd years)

your analogy about boiler suits is not relevant, we are talking about colour of clothing not type of clothing. some clothing is for various types of utility. the op didnt ask whether she should wear a boiler suit to the wedding, that is a different discussion

Victorian era was a huge drama and creator of allsorts of traditions I agree...but wearing black and other specific mourning dates back very, very much further. (it was white at one previous stage in European history, but ''dark'' in Roman times!). Its also bad form to wear white or a lot of unbroken cream to a wedding. In anycase, while very fascinating I was merely trying to explain that SOME PEOPLE but by no means everyone will hold views about this...I'm not necessarily arguing they are infallably right but I am saying they exist. That they exist as a custom is a decent enough reason for me to want to make sure I don't ...''offend'' anyone (though I think offend is a bit strong a term).

sarah*a

puddy wrote: »

tradition has to start somewhere and end somewhere, by definition it outlives its use or belief

Even the whole 'bride wears white thing' is a relatively *new* tradition - Queen Victoria is credited as making it fashionable -and that was only for the wealthier brides - it wasn't that widespread until the early twentieth century - so only 100 years ago - and the big flouncey dress is even newer than that.

(guess who's bored and been google-ing )

And if we're on the subject of the royal family - the late Queen Mother wore a white mourning outfit designed by Norman Hartnell after the death of her mother

I for one am glad this tradition no longer exists:

Traditionally the bride and groom were to consummate the marriage immediately following the wedding ceremony. Apparently some guests would even watch to ensure it happened. At the bedside they took it upon themselves to help the bride undress by grabbing at her clothing.

Read more: http://beyondjane.com/weddings/origins-of-todays-wedding-traditions/#ixzz1Cjv2RO16

:eek::eek::eek::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

roadiegirl - if you are uncomfortable about asking the bride about wearing black could you ask your cousins mum? (your auntie?) as she is likely to be involved with the planning and know how formal/tradtional the bride wants it to be?

Can I ask - purely out of interest - what peoples answers would have been if the dress in question had been white? As that used to be a no-no too but seems to be common place now.

:cool:

lostinrates

sarah*a wrote: »

Can I ask - purely out of interest - what peoples answers would have been if the dress in question had been white? As that used to be a no-no too but seems to be common place now.

:cool:

Interesting reading, your googling.:) I didn't know that about the queen mother .

My answer for white would have been the same (as in last post). I don't think it would ne a problem...nor black...., as a broken colour, but not all the outfit:)