Ex girlfriends new partner getting called dad

photogifts

Hi all

I have a daughter at 6 year old and my ex girlfriend and her partner have a child now together,now my daughter is calling this other man dad she still calls me dad,

My thoughts are since they live together my daughter calls him dad since her sister calls him dad and i maybe have slightest sneaky feeling she is getting encouraged to call him it,i would like them to be close as the more love child a has the better and he is ok guy,

Just wondered everybody's thoughts on this situation am i being soft ?

Gingham_Ribbon

They live together and her sister calls him dad. He's a good guy and, as you say, the more love a child has the better all round.

She's your daughter and she still calls you dad. You're glad she's in a loving environment when you're not there.

Sounds all very healthy to me.

DUTR

Probaly not soft, just jealous.

Becles

I've got two boys from a previous marriage. They started calling my husband Dad without any encouragement from me. It was just something they wanted to do.

I wouldn't worry about it. You'll always be her real Dad

Tish_P

I can see how this would hurt. But it's a good sign that she likes and feels at home with her mum's new partner. If she was calling him "that git" it would be worrying.

Keep loving and being there for your daughter, like you so obviously do, and nobody can ever replace you in her heart or her life.

mrs_marty

It's a funny one, we have a similar situation my hubby and I have just have had a baby and I have two other children from my first marriage, my eldest 7 seems to have her head round it all and hasn't confused herself too much however my son is coming 5 and he is struggling a bit and gets a little confused. Not sure how the confusion will pan out once the wee one can talk. I dont encourage the use of dad for my other two as at the end of the day they have a "Dad" all be it not a very good one but still there Dad, my other half is happy being called by his name as he knows that the children love him as there father figure.

I hope your daughter is similar to my two and the confusion passes, as it must sting a little.

moonbeam2007

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

They live together and her sister calls him dad. He's a good guy and, as you say, the more love a child has the better all round.

She's your daughter and she still calls you dad. You're glad she's in a loving environment when you're not there.

Sounds all very healthy to me.

I agree with the above. It makes such a nice change to hear this because as you say he is a nice guy, she likes him, she's looked after.

She still knows your her Dad so don#'t worry, it's normal for you to feel strangely about it because she's your baby, but put your mind at rest knowing she is happy and am sure she loves you all.

whitewing

If she's saying Daddy about him, that may just be a reflection on the baby. My DS calls my husband Daddy when talking about him to the baby, but Dad is for his Dad only. Sometimes DH just says yes, he's DS' dad eg to a supermarket cashier rather than explain.

You may find that she doesn't really call him anything as his name isn't close enough and Dad is you.

I agree with the others that you are unique and irreplaceable in her life.

pupsicola

I agree with the poster who said that this was probably instigated by the child all by herself. My eldest is 8 and my ex and I split when he was 3. It got a bit embarrasing because any adult males he came into contact with he called dad, for a while. Even the flaming decorators at one stage.

If she has a sibling then she will want to feel as an equal to your ex new partner. It is a good thing that he treats her well, is an okay guy and she feels comfy round him.

I can understand how you feel though. It is a tricky position to find yourself in and of course you really want to be the one who she sees as daddy. It doesn't mean that this guy has replaced you in her affections just because she calls him dad.

What would you prefer she called him, I mean that question in the nicest possible way, its not easy to get that across online.

photogifts

Thanks for all your reply's

She is a very happy and confident girl i don't think she is calling him dad out of malice to me if was id be worried. And if she is happy i am happy my words to her about the situation was you have alot of people who care for you and your very lucky and we had a little joke between each other about calling one dad and daddy or pa and pa pa each names getting more silly.

i was took aback at first and wasn't sure what to think

LillythePink

Part of it will be confusion and also not wanting to be different.

My DD started calling my OH dad about 6 years ago - instigated by her with no encouragement by me.

I know that my ex knows about this as she gets mixed up sometimes - but he knows that she is his and she knows that he is her dad (although she would prefer my OH to be her real dad)

She now calls her real dad by his name at our house, then when she is at his, she calls my OH by his name - its just the way she sorts it out in her head!

I think that if you're ok with it, then it's good - she will grow up with a healthy respect for everyone as she will see that the adults have got on and at the end of the day, it's only a word.

It would be more hurtful is she started calling you by your name - then I would step in and say something