Any regrets???

alastairq

if that hill's steep...stop and pause along the way,take a breather,it's been hard, remind yourself you're doing ok. be nice to yourselves,
god bless x

absolutely...at least, after BR, one can pause to take a breath now and then...without having the trappings of society hounding your every move.[by that, I mean, the creditors]

smileitconfusespeople_2

At the end of the day as long as you have each other,dont worry about the house/ home and weather you own it, you dont meet people and say Hi this is my home and I rent it OR own it to much stereo typing about this rat race that we live in, God I know what its like when you see your little uns going with out or robbing Peter to pay Paul etc, Listen Life really is too short , you are not alone the people here are very welcoming and will give you good constructive advice and lift you when you are feeling a little weary,

Br was the only way for us and I dont regret a single day, My God it was the hardest thing ( I really mean that) what Ive ever ever done and something I will never ever Repeat.

Take one Day at a time Start tomorrow, It does get better....You will do whats right in the end...Smile It Confuses People

alastairq

I know what its like when you see your little uns going with out or robbing Peter to pay Paul

This isn't the sole prerogative of BR's...it is actually far more commonplace throughout our even more imperfect society than is healthy.

It's about perceived competitiveness.

Competition is advocated as being the healthiest thing around.

Yet it also allows access to the nastier side of life.


And is so unnecessary.

In my experience, giving one's kids a sense of personal worth...security...allows them to deal with the competitiveness of the world .....so they don't, themselves, feel as if they are 'going without'....

As for robbing Peter....?

well that actually goes on at all levels of our economic society....

We...each of us.. are a bit like a small scale version of BT.....no..maybe not BT, I can't believe those on here are that nasty or useless...

but you all get the point?

It is called, balancing the books....things only go awry when one forgets something....

out_of_cash

just want to say thanks for all the posts above,gives me some uplifting feeling even though i am going through this on my own.

just love the phrase

NOW I LIVE TO WORK
NOT WORK TO LIVE

hugs to all on here.

out of cash.

Emmylou_2

Do I have any regrets? Just one - not admitting earlier that I was insolvent.

I went bankrupt in July, the final "straw" for me was having to reduce my hours at work due to disability. I had been in trouble for a long time, but robbing Peter to pay Paul; not paying bills; taking out payday loans that I just had to keep rolling over because I could never pay them back; living at the absolute limit of my overdraft etc.

Now - I have money left at the end of the month, I stick to my budget, I pay my bills on time. I don't flinch every time the door knocks or the phone rings unexpectedly. Due to my disability, I was able to keep my car, and I even have money in the budget to get it serviced and repaired etc.

I know that my credit limit will be affected, but it was so bad before that even the "sub-prime" lenders were turning me down. Now I've got the chance to start afresh, to be a responsible adult and have a "life" going forward, rather than just existing.

Bankruptcy was a difficult decision to make. There were lots of sleepless nights, there were tears and arguments (with best mate and boyfriend). But now - I'm a totally different person. I'm back to being ME

alastairq

Now I've got the chance to start afresh, to be a responsible adult and have a "life" going forward, rather than just existing.

absolutely agree...but for one point.

Bankruptcy doesn't make one a 'responsible adult'.....it occurs because one is being a 'responsible adult'..

Mrsmull2007

I had to bankrupt myself 11 years ago, and sadly did lose my home. However the stress relief once I'd gone through with the BR was worth it. It's not an easy decision but when you are working with very little return, if you do go through with the BR it makes you very cautious with spending. I've never looked back.

Stayathomemom_2

Guys, just wanted to say a BIG thank you for your replies! We have been dealing with this for nearly 2 years, and now that we are in the position we feared so much, we have to just accept it and deal with it. We were very foolish living of credit for so long, but we have managed 2 years with no credit (will never touch it again, even if I could), and although it has been incredibly difficult, emotional, heartbreaking etc we still get up each day and continue on, the kids although they arent getting as much as their wee friends, dont seem to be aware too much and as long as my husb and I can keep them happy and feel secure that is the best we can do at this stage. But what I really need to deal with is the sense of loss, it sounds so silly but when I see people out shopping, I feel like screaming, when I hear people getting new cars, holidays etc, it kills me that we have lost the ability to take enjoyment in any of things anymore cause at the moment we have budgeted within an inch of our lifes and there just isnt any left for even a cinema trip .............but hey ho, I have a wonderful husb, healthy kids and at the moment still a roof over my head, so I am choosing not to look back and just keep heading forward!!!!

alastairq

hi....well done..it's all about 'living within our means'...an activity that seems long forgotten, as people nowadays live on the hope of a financial future....not what they have now!

What you need to remember when you hear of people out buying 'new cars' or fancy holidays is...firstly, they are probably using credit, and getting up to their eyeballs in hock.[not the vino]....and/or secondly, they possibly have considerably more disposable income than your family?

Just remember, those other folks may well be but one step away from the position you found yourselves in?

do you take advantage of freebie offers, Tesco vouchers, and stuff like that?

What about 'Orange Wednesdays?'

If you do take a trip to the pix, don't forget to stock up the biggest handbag you have, with sweeties and popcorn and cans of coke.....saves a fortune, cos at most multiplex cinemas, it isn't the entry that costs a lot, it's the mandatory goodies.....smuggle them in, why not?

Why not take everyone camping when the weather improves?

Tents can be had for nottalottadosh...sometimes as freebies.....take the car, and go somewhere not too far away.....petrol and food will be bought anyway, regardless, so its just a site fee to find?

Just a suggestion, but it worked for me.....and I hate the damp!

The trick is, to use the imagination, and think 'simple'....

FavDaughter1

GREAT POST ABOVE! do you know you could put a advert on your local "FREECYCLE" site,people "offer" or post "wanted" on there,things given or received are free of charge,they just need new homes instead of going to land fill.

have a look at this site there's a place with info on free things to do. my cinema has a cheap entry day mid wk and a reduced price on Sat mornings for kids and family.

nothing is worth the hell of all this stress we're in right now. it's killing us. i had a similar time at Christmas,not wanting credit-feeling so pleased ours was all done&paid for with cash BUT watching all those shoppers with there bulging bags,wonder how many of those people are feeling sick as credit card bills are hitting now??

hope you're planning ahead for your Christmas- i am! i've got 2 saving cards set up, 1 where i can get food&gifts& 1 who sell hubbys fav beer!
Christmas seems a million miles away,it soon ticks round.

as already said, this is all about living within our means,that can be tough. if you're kids are happy and feel secure then you must be doing well,that is BIG. big hug to you x