how much spending money?

Lunar_Eclipse

JC9297 wrote: »

I have always seen activities such as sport as our expenditure on our children and if we couldn't afford to pay for them then they wouldn't do it. Pocket money is a totally separate issue and I would decide what sort of things they are expected to buy out of it (if anything) and set the amount accordingly.

I agree with this and personally wouldn't factor the horse riding into my decision re: pocket money, particularly if it's the only activity she does. If she does Dance, Music, Guides and other things, then I might think differently.

I would consider partial funding, especially if budgets are tight. Ultimately I wouldn't want her to give up riding in order to buy more clothes, sweets etc. If you are concerned about fairness with your son, I'd encourage him to take up a new physical activity and then give them both a lower allowance.

The saying basically goes that most girls (so not all!), as teenagers, have three things to become interested in: sport, horses or boys. So I'd be encouraging the horses.

And whilst I think it's fine to encourage children to contribute financially, I think there's plenty of time for 'proper' jobs and developing consumerism. Additionally, whilst household chores and a small, say hourly, weekly job (not sure what an 11 yr old could really do though?) is very doable, kids get a lot more homework these days than I recall getting, thus time pressures are increased.

Keep life simple while you can is my suggestion; riding every two weeks with £1 week for sweets (as opposed to cinema with friends, Abercrombie and Super Dry clothes being requested every week) sounds great.:)

nomuny

thanx everyone, I obviously can't get DD to get a job as she's too young and my older kids did do paper rounds for their money but the shops where we live no longer deliver papers so thats out for DS. They do have to wash up, dog walk, tidy up and clean their rooms for their money. DD only does the horse riding, she was dancing but can't afford both - I like the idea of not counting this as spending money - it would solve the fairness issue. As for getting DS to engage in any activity that would be difficult all he wants do do is sit on xbox, he is into his drums but when I offered him fortnightly lessons he said he'd rather teach himself. I may try the monthly route and see how it goes. It is difficult on a budget when they see all their friends seemingly getting it all on a plate without having to do anything for it- perhaps they've got the wrong friends!!

Any

Your son is 14, or 4? Surely he needs to start learning to be responsible with money and you giving him the money by £1 doesn't exactly support that...
I would start with weekly money, as to ask him to budget monthly from being given £1 at the time is a big ask.

I also wouldn't count hobbies/lessons within the spending money...

I don't think the problem is that they have a wrong friends.. Life is not fair and you need to get them to realise this. So what if their friends get everything on the plate? You can't afford it and that is the end of the story. It is better to prepare them for real life.

rozmister

I would pay half of the cost of DD's riding yourself and tell her the other half must come out of her allowance. Then she needs to save £4 every week if she wants to go so this will teach her about budgetting, prioritising, etc. Tell DS if he wants to join a meaningful activity like riding/scouts/whatever constructive stuff there is for teenage boys you will pay half for him. Alternatively if he wants something like football day camp for a week in summer you could save the £4 a week you give to DD for this and then he has to save £4 of his pocket money to go in this fund. Give them both the same each week, maybe an extra £2 for DS because he will want to go out with his friends more soon.

e.g. DD - £8 - Saves £4 a week towards horse riding which is matched by your contribution of £4. Spends the other £4 on Mizz and sweets.

DS- £10 - Wants to go to football camp in the summer which is £100 so he saves £2 for 25 weeks and you match this with £50. Has £8 a week to spend on sweets and fizzy pop and boy things.

With any money they have to contribute I'd deduct it when you give them their pocket money so say I've given you £8 and put £2 in the football camp fund. That way it's clear what's happening.

pinkshoes

At 14, I was given a monthly allowance, paid by direct debit!

I had to propose the budget myself (clothes, activities, sweets etc...) then calculated as a monthly sum, then had to argue my total vs what my parents thought was reasonable. If I spent it all in one go, then tough!

Giving it monthly will allow them to budget.

p-pincher

hi

When i was 11 my mum gave me and my older sister the family allowance between us, i remeber it was paid weekly and im sure it was about £10 a week each, cant remember exactly. This was alot of money back the, early 90's and my friends at the same time were only getting a couple of quid each a week. But this had to buy everything, apart from school uniform and absolute nessecities (underwear etc).

So i wanted to go cinema, spend it all on sweets, buy the latest nike trainers etc I had to save, end of, there were no arguments. I very soon learned how to save and budget. It must have been quite alot of my mums housekeeping to give us but she said it saved her a fortune on giving us a couple of quid here and there a few times a week.

I have 2 dd's (6 and 4) and when they start senior school i will do exactly the same with them, if they do any clubs or sports etc, like your daughters horseriding i may ask for a contribution but i think ill cross that bridge when it coes to it. Like everyone else says give your son his money either weekly or monthly and let him learn the value, you never know he might actually surprise you, though probably not in the first couple of months lol

DUKE

A mate of mine at Uni used to give her kids their child benefit, & they paid for everything that they needed out of this. I understand that some people may not be able to afford to do this, but it would help the kids budget ....

Caroline_a

Once my kids were old enough to get some form of work, ie 14, they had no more pocket money on a regular basis. One got a job in a kennels, one in a stables and the other in a hotel (she was slightly older). Budgeting is easier to learn when it's 'your' money that you've earned, rather than from the seemingly endless purse of Mum and Dad..

chaosweddings

my son who is nearly 12 gets £4 per week on a saturday, i top up his mobile phone £10 every month on the basis he helps at home , i also pay for his classes if he has any.

ds is really good with money and managed to save up £250 to take to florida ,

if he doesnt do any jobs at home or finish his homework he doesnt get pocket money, if he does extra than asked he gets a little extra money.

for his £4 he has to empty all the bins, keep his room tidy, load the dishwasher and bring his dirty washing down stairs and take all his clean washing up and put it away. for each extra job he gets £1

my friends kids do nothing to help around the house and they get £10 per week

pimento

I used to give my son 50p for every year of his age, so at 14 he got £7 a week. I paid it four weekly into his bank account by standing order.

Now he's 18 and at university, I give him £20 weekly paid by standing order. I also pay for his phone (£15 a month). He is trying to get a job.