how much spending money?

nomuny

hi
wondered if anypn e could help me decide the way forward on this. Ive a DD 11 and DS 14. DD goes horse riding every 2 weeks which costs £16 per lesson. DS was supposed to have £6 a week spending money but was constantly saying I hadn't given it him all and wanting more (he was having it in £1 and £2- not all at once). As he is older I thought he should get more than DD which means he needs to get more than the £8 it costs per week for the h/riding but DD also thinks she should have £1 per week for sweets etc. I have older kids - no longer at home and they had about £5 per week and if they wanted extra had to earn it. We are on a very limited budget and just can't seem to find a solution that suits all, another problem is that DS just goes to the shop and spends all his money on swwets and pop, which I don't like. Do I settle on an amount and tell them it includes h/ riding, phone top up etc for DD and x-box stuff, phone top up for son. Or would it be better to save DS's money and only give him abit for sweets etc -really can't afford alot at moment- £10 a week max and that would have to include everything except clothes -sorry for long post but this is a headache at the mo.:eek:

WolfSong2000

I fail to see why neither of them can work at getting a part time job in lieu of pocket money? When I was your daughter's age, I was very horsey and got myself a job at a livery yard from the age of about 12. Carried on working at different yards until I was about 16. I got £15p/w at one yard I worked at from the ages of 13-16 and that was my pocket money. I worked the odd evening after school and all day weekends and holidays for it, including christmas day. It was hard work, but it gave me some money, a good worth ethic and meant I could be around horses. Would this be an option for your daughter? Sometimes riding schools will let you work there in exchange for lessons.

As for your son, is there nothing he could do to "earn" his pocket money? Is there somewhere he can volunteer if he can't find a weekend job? It'd make him appreciate his money more, so he may be less willing to wast ehis money on sweets.

balletshoes

Hmmm tough one, I only have one DD and she gets no regular money from me to spend on sweets etc, as i pay for her dance lessons, swimming lessons, buy her treats etc when we're out shopping together. If she wanted regular pocket money, I wouldn't be buying her the treats, sweets etc would be off my shopping list, that would be down to her.

Have you sat down and listed what treats/clubs/outings/computer games etc you pay out for your DS and your DD? Include sweets, pop etc that you pay for. Once you've done that, are you still paying out more for DD than DS?

onlyroz

Not sure about the amounts, but couldn't you make them "earn" the money by doing jobs around the house (e.g. the washing up, helping with the laundry/ironing/hoovering etc).

JC9297

I have always seen activities such as sport as our expenditure on our children and if we couldn't afford to pay for them then they wouldn't do it. Pocket money is a totally separate issue and I would decide what sort of things they are expected to buy out of it (if anything) and set the amount accordingly.

Judith_W

Whatever you decide in terms of how much to give, I would certainly give DS the full amount in one go, ideally monthly, but weekly if that is when you get your money in. That way, if he decides to spend it all on sweets in 1 go, he will feel very sick and not have any more money to spend for a while. Also, if he only gets £1 or £2 at a time, he might not see what else he can spend it on, but if he gets £5/£10 in one go, he might see the value of saving for a game or something.

Also, would a solution to say that as DD is going horse riding and is seen by you as a meaningful activity, it is only 50% from pocket money, making her 'pocket money' £4pw? If you have enough money you could say that if he were to join a meaningful club, you would pay half?

thorsoak

If you give your DS his money in dribs and drabs, he won't learn the necessity of budgeting. OK - so if in the first month he blows it all on sweets and the like - so be it! He will soon learn that he has had all his money and there is no more - which is what it will be like once he starts earning his own money.

But put it into a bank account - so that he can't say "you didn't give me this month's allowance" - it will show on his passbook/statement!

onetomany

my youngerst 8 gets £2 but im thinking on giving him a extra 50p if hes been good , he only has little jobs to do but hes getting better my 14 year old gets £5 poket money and he can earn another £5 per week by helping me with things like taking his brother to school, popping shop empting dishwasher feeding dog etc he tends to get around £8 per week most weeks out of that he has to put £10 per month on his phone, buy any sweets mags etc

Sublime_2

I have started giving my DD the occasional £1 or so, at a weekend so that she learns the value of money, otherwise she constantly asks for things. This way if she wants a DVD, or toy, I tell her that she hasn't got enough money, but if she keeps it she may be able to buy another week.

The amount I give her varies though, and is not all the time, as shes only 6.

podperson

I would suggest maybe working out an amount with them that includes phone top-ups, xbox etc and making sure they are aware that that is all they will be getting. At 11 and 14 it's a good idea to give them a bit more control as it will hopefully help them learn the value of money and budgeting a bit more - if your DS spends all his money on sweets then he will have nothing left for the rest of the week, no top up for the phone and therefore is less likely to do it again as he can actually see the consequences. I know at 13 I was working Saturdays and I loved having my own money that I could spend on what I wanted - but I also quickly learned that when it was gone it was gone

Tropez

WolfSong2000 wrote: »

I fail to see why neither of them can work at getting a part time job in lieu of pocket money?

In the case of the youngest she cannot work because it would be illegal. With the exception of babysitting and odd jobs for friends and family, The Children and Young Persons Act forbids children under 13 from working, unless it is in the areas of sport, modelling, film, television, advertising or plays and even then the employer is required to have a licence.

Even at 13, the local authority needs a specific by-law in place allowing children to undertake a particular type of work. Children can't even get a paper round legally unless the by-law is in place permitting them to do so.

Also, in all fairness, the work that you describe would also breach current laws regarding employment hours and frequency when employing children.