Divorce - Advice needed please

suzukibabe

Originally posted by Puspsicola
His behaviour sounds very intimidating. Cant imagine many adults liking someone listening into phone calls to hear what is being said about them. That speaks volumes about him having a guilty conscience and not wanting other people to know what he is really like.

You say he is verbally abusive and aggressive quite often and that this is now escalating to nasty threats. If things were to escalate further now is the time when you are most at risk. People who are abusive, agressive and controlling are most likely to get violent when they feel their power has stopped.

Sleeping with a knife under your pillow is risky. For one if he knew about it he could use it against you when the divorce is going through. On a more urgent note, what happens if he goes into your room for an argument and finds it, are you strong enough to stop him using it on you?

Mention any abuse and threats to a solicitor.

He thinks that i'm bad mouthing him to everyone and telling them what's going on, which i'm not - well apart from here. As for the knife i will put it back in the knife block.

Originally posted by RAS
Does he do anything for them outside work hours, when you are at home.

No, i do everything in the house and everything for the boys when i'm not in work.

Originally posted by RAS
Please speak to HR tomoorow and see if this can be reversed and you can be paid by cheque. He will empty it. if you cannot do that, can you find out from the bank when it will be there and raid it yourself.

Speak urgently to the various benefits agencies and get them to move all payments to your new account.

I didn't think of that, will speak to HR first thing tomorow.



Thanks guys you are a great support xx

pupsicola

Ive been giving this some thought. I dont think your primary concern at the moment should be getting divorced. If things have got so bad that you are sleeping with a knife under your pillow you are clearly scared of this man. Being around someone who is abusive, agressive and now making nasty threats is putting you and your children at risk.

You dont seem to have financial worries as such. My main concern right now would be getting away from him with the kids and being safe.

I left my ex after suffering years of mental and physical abuse. I logged every incident with the domestic violence unit at my local police station and I told my doctor so it was all on my medical records.

Good idea re putting the knife back. I got to the ridiculous stage of having a cow bell on my bedroom door so I would know if he came into the room and could wake up. He use to freak me out before I did this by sitting on the bed, stroking my hair and asking me if I was scared of him, bloody nutjob!!!!

BILLIE

He use to freak me out before I did this by sitting on the bed, stroking my hair and asking me if I was scared of him, bloody nutjob!!!!

Pupsicola - we must have been married to the same ex - sounds very similar!!

Hope you are able to move on very quickly Suzi and we are all behind you here. Billie x

georgie262

I have no specific advice for you I'm afraid but I just wanted to say good luck with it all and I hope everything works out for you and your boys x

suzukibabe

Just to update -

He's moved out and into his mum's, he has got a job and a new girlfriend and he's becoming more civil.
I'm a lot more relaxed and am getting back to my old self lol look forward to having everything finalised and legally sorted.

Jen xx

thorsoak

I do hope that you have changed the locks!