please help, im at my wits end

intotheblue

I had exactly the same issue with my daughter & I felt I had tried everything. It can make it very difficult to go to after school clubs & parties etc as the problem always happens at the worst possible times. I thought we were never going to get through it. The sticker/reward charts would work for a while & then she would relapse. It can be very frustrating.

In the end I found lots of information on the internet & there was an article that explained it very clearly and also that it could take a long time to resolve - possibly up to a year for the bowel muscles to work normally. I sat down with my daughter and we read it together & once she understood what was happenning and that the only person who could do anything about it was her, she changed overnight. She realised it was something she would have to work at and she was shocked that it could take so long to get things working properly. It made her want to try to get things right whereas before she was just making an effort to put a sticker on a chart.

Actually, after that we had very few accidents & now she is absolutely fine. I thought that we would never get there, but we did & you will too!

happyhaddock_2

Hi hun, yes we've been there as well. My youngest developed a toilet phobia when he was about 3/4 refused to poo at all, he would go over a week or more without pooing at all and then his body would "take over" and he would end up doing an enormous one (sorry if too much info:o) which obviously hurt him and therefore put him off going even more, it was a vicious circle:(. We took him to the Dr's who said it was more mental, he was frightened of going, and gave us some small suppositories to use but it was a long slog to break the cycle and I can remember thinking that he would never grow out of it. The goods news is, of course, he did, we had a few accidents when he started school, but they were very understanding and supportive and eventually it stopped. Hope this helps and please try not to get too stressed, though I know it's easier said than done

julie03

my son is 8 and this has only just recently stopped. he was on lactolose, we use to give it to him in the morning and sit him on the toilet at 6 and he went
if he is holding it in for a few days they will leak little bits at a time so this was cause alot of soiled pants
they do eventually grow out of it, my son is naturally a every 3-4 days and he has now learnt to control it

julie2710

Must be stressful but I would really agree with what everyone else has said. Try not to make an issue of him and he will grow out of it. My younger brother used to do this all the time. Even to the point where he would hide behind an armchair to poo in his pants but not go to the toilet.

I've been lucky with my eldest son except that if he goes to the toilet for a poo he takes off all his clothes!!! He says his poo won't come out if he has clothes on. I have tried getting him to just keep one or two items of clothing on, socks and vest or even just socks but it doesn't work at the minute. Hope he grows out of it!

happyhaddock_2

Oh julie03 I'd forgotten about the lactulose! yes we had that as well, and some fruity gloopy liquid that the Dr gave us and Julie2710 had to smile at your son taking off all his clothes, must be a bit chilly for him lol

Dainty1976

Just a thought but have you got him sitting on a normal toilet seat? If so, try him using one of those little kids ones that sit on top. I also used to throw in some toilet paper before he went. I thought of this after the GP said, he might have a fear of the water splashing back up on him. I let him do it himself too so that he could feel more secure knowing that 1. He wouldnt get his bottom splashed and 2. he wasnt going to fall down the loo!

It took a while but he got it in the end and then one day we just "forgot" to put in the toilet paper before he went. When he finally did it the first time - we had a lengthy "inspection" of what was sitting in the bowl - helped massively.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

For the want of a better phrase, could he be attention seeking because he doesn't want to be a big boy, but wants to stay a baby?