OMG Major Bridesmaid Rant!! Sorry will be long

FlowerPower

I agree - I *love* the dress!
It is quite grown up though, maybe that's why your SIL says they won't wear them. I can't imagine it's because they think it's hideous, because it really is gorgeous!
Like everyone's saying - it's your wedding, and don't let it upset you... Choose what you want and enjoy your day

isica1903

Lol at that dress Linda, although I have a feeling it could be right up nieces street.

I am glad they have pulled out, but now OH wants a word with each niece and ask what THEY want rather what sil wants.

To me it seems really shallow that they just pull out over a dress that was the wrong size anyway and we hadn't even tried all the options we have. It looks to me that it was never about being a bridesmaid but wanting to be centre of attention and getting their way.

I feel so down about the whole situation, they are lovely people and don't want to upset anyone, but we really have different tastes and don't think we'll ever find any common ground.

Oh, the flower girls will be wearing the usual ivory flower girl type dress. I know it's not ideal for the teens to wear that either, but still we haven't tried them yet.

What's upsetting me the most though is that everyone is so negative about everything. I haven't heard a single positive comment.
The dress is creased as it;s not ironed and has been sent in the post twice and is now hanging in my wardrobe. The first comment sil made is oh it's creased you better make sure they come out. Not, oh thats a nice dress (even if she doesn't mean it)

When we booked the hall (village hall) they went to look at it and said You better make sure you have space for bar/food etc

But, at the same time they tell me if I need any help just ask but they wouldn't want to interfere with anything??:eek:

Thanks for the nice comments on the dress, made me feel a bit better now

podperson

Think the dresses are really pretty. At 14 his nieces are going to be at that fussy age where they wouldn't like anything you chose so wouldn't take it personally - sounds like your SIL is just using it as an excuse to cause some drama and I would just not rise to it by texting her back and saying that if that's what the girls want then you are disappointed but that's up to them - and then just spend your time and effort on the bms you do want

danlojo

Well, I'm shocked to say the least!:eek:

It's YOUR wedding as others have said and I would wear a bin liner if you wanted me to.:D

It's irrelevant if they dont have similar tastes. It's a dress you want them to be in.

Weddings are stressful enough without you having to put up with this.

Has the SIL told you where she is sitting yet?......Personally she'd be right next to the toilet if I did the seating plan.:rotfl:

Good luck and stand your ground, don't be !!!!!footing around them.

danlojo

BTW, I love the dresses!!:D

gravitytolls

isica1903 wrote: »

Hi everyone, I've posted about this before ages ago but am now faced with a new dilemma.

I am having 3 adult bridesmaids, my 2 sisters and 1 cousin, they all live in Germany.
Then I'm having OHs 3 nieces age 14, 14 and 10 (these were NOT my choice) and 4 flower girls, DD age 4 and 3 nieces age from 2-4.

Right, I didn't want those 3 girls in the first place but found it hard to say no to MIL so ended up having to grin and bear it.

We now have a dilemma with the dresses, i have dresses for the adults http://www.bonprixsecure.com/uk/Evening-dress-2506846-bundle.htm?id=1677239540325214019-0-4d3938d1&sourcePageClick=article_image . They were really hard to find as my sisters have really different figures and my cousin was pregnant at the time. One sister is a size 16 and has a large bust and felt really uncomfortable wearing anything strapless which I can understand. So we found this dress and are all happy with it.

Now we tried to find a dress for the girls but seems impossible. Nothing available in the same colour so my last resort is to either wear same as adults or same as little girls.

Went and tried my sisters dress (i've got it here) on niece and could so tell that she hates it. It was a little too big as in a size 12 but can order it in size 10 and get it altered if necessary.

Then yesterday SIL texts OH to say that the girls will not wear that dress and that we should go with my sisters and DD only.

I was actually really upset by this, they are making it out as if the dress is hideous (is it??) and make me feel really self concious about everything. I think it's really rude to make it so obvious that they don't like what I chose for MY wedding.

In a way I'm glad that they pulled out, cos I know that she will just be a nightmare all the way, if it's not the dress she doesn't like it will be the shoes or flowers or whatever else she can think of.

Now OH wants to speak to them first because it was SIL who decided they are not doing it and not themselves if that makes sense.

Anyway needed to get it off my chest. Or am I just being out of order and should change all the dresses to something niece prefers??

IT'S YOUR WEDDING. I suggest you have some cards printed with this statement (substitute your to my), and every timesomeone tries to dictate to you, you simply hand one over.

You're not being unreasonable, your memories should be of the perfect day, and should not be marred by recall of silly squabbling.

Makes me glad I wore a bootsale, non bridal frock, in a registry office with no bridesmaids etc. and a pub lunch afterwards. Not fancy, not glitzy, but cheap and it was all I wanted.

But, mmy wedding's not what you want, nor are half the bridesmaids what you want, never mind the squabbling, so put your foot down.

Have a great marriage.

Rahven

What they all said

Plus, I love that dress so much I've bookmarked it in my wedding folder

Bluespirit

I just wanted to add my agreement to what others have said - it is your wedding, and that dress is absolutely gorgeous. Stick with it - at the end of the day it is a priviledge to be asked to be a bridesmaid on your special day, and they should treat it as such by fitting in with what you want.

sw_mina

Love the dress myself...

... Is it possible the teenagers have been caught in the middle? Maybe they didn't really want to be BMs any more than you wanted them to be? They're old enough to pick up on any vibes and tensions from their relatives even if they thought they'd like to be BMs - maybe they're reacting to that rather than being fussy?

If it was me, I'd ask them what they'd imagined they'd wear, how they want to feel in what they're wearing, and see if they can come up with a compromise themselves. Leave the pesky MIL and SILs out of it - it might be both you and the teenagers have some common ground in feeling pushed around!

But then... I am a psychologist so maybe I would think that

floss2

danlojo wrote: »

....Has the SIL told you where she is sitting yet?......Personally she'd be right next to the toilet if I did the seating plan.....

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Love this!