OMG Major Bridesmaid Rant!! Sorry will be long

isica1903

Hi everyone, I've posted about this before ages ago but am now faced with a new dilemma.

I am having 3 adult bridesmaids, my 2 sisters and 1 cousin, they all live in Germany.
Then I'm having OHs 3 nieces age 14, 14 and 10 (these were NOT my choice) and 4 flower girls, DD age 4 and 3 nieces age from 2-4.

Right, I didn't want those 3 girls in the first place but found it hard to say no to MIL so ended up having to grin and bear it.

We now have a dilemma with the dresses, i have dresses for the adults http://www.bonprixsecure.com/uk/Evening-dress-2506846-bundle.htm?id=1677239540325214019-0-4d3938d1&sourcePageClick=article_image . They were really hard to find as my sisters have really different figures and my cousin was pregnant at the time. One sister is a size 16 and has a large bust and felt really uncomfortable wearing anything strapless which I can understand. So we found this dress and are all happy with it.

Now we tried to find a dress for the girls but seems impossible. Nothing available in the same colour so my last resort is to either wear same as adults or same as little girls.

Went and tried my sisters dress (i've got it here) on niece and could so tell that she hates it. It was a little too big as in a size 12 but can order it in size 10 and get it altered if necessary.

Then yesterday SIL texts OH to say that the girls will not wear that dress and that we should go with my sisters and DD only.

I was actually really upset by this, they are making it out as if the dress is hideous (is it??) and make me feel really self concious about everything. I think it's really rude to make it so obvious that they don't like what I chose for MY wedding.

In a way I'm glad that they pulled out, cos I know that she will just be a nightmare all the way, if it's not the dress she doesn't like it will be the shoes or flowers or whatever else she can think of.

Now OH wants to speak to them first because it was SIL who decided they are not doing it and not themselves if that makes sense.

Anyway needed to get it off my chest. Or am I just being out of order and should change all the dresses to something niece prefers??

sammy_wheeler

i didnt wanna read n run, but i just wanna say- its YOUR wedding, and you should hve bms you want not wat u r being told to have!

Bluefire

I concur, why should you change your dress choice to please bridesmaids you didn't even want in the first place? Everybody knows the job of a bridesmaid is to wear whatever dress is forced upon her by the bride anyway!

abis21

I just wanted to say that I think your bridesmaid dresses are gorgeous, and I would be *more* than happy to wear them

Everyone just has their own taste tho I suppose. That style of dress suits me best, so its what I would pick ideally if I got the choice. But maybe the 14 & 10 year olds wouldn't suit it if they wasn't developed in the bust area.

I would just try and talk your OH round, and explain that you were never really keen on having them as bridesmaids, and felt a bit forced into it, and that you are quite happy if they don't want to do it, as it will save money, hassle & stress.

My MIL was hinting that I should have my SIL as a bridesmaid, but I just ignored the hints :rotfl:

flackety

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, you didn't want them anyway so solves your problem! Oh and by the way, I think those bridesmaid dresses are lovely! I love the colour and style!

4nnabella

I love that dress, it's so pretty! If it was me, I would probably be feeling very relieved that they've pulled out (or have been pulled out, if it was SIL who made the decision...) You were essentially bullied into having them as BMs in the first place, it took you ages to find a (very nice) dress for your sisters and cousin, so I would say that it's their loss if they want to throw a teenage strop! It is YOUR wedding so don't let other people make you feel bad about what you want!!

Hugs xx

Birdie85

I love the dress, I've actually left the window open to look at it again later... with my purse to hand!

I think you've had a lucky escape TBH, the 14 year old was probably being a stroppy teenager about it all because she can't wear what she wants to wear and look 'cool'! (God I'm only 25 and I sound so out of touch with the younger generation! :rotfl:) If your SIL can be so wicked as to make you choose her girls as BMs in the first place then pull them out of the wedding without even talking to you about the dresses then you're better off saving your money and not wasting it on lovely dresses for ungrateful so-and-so's!

PudseyDB

What are the flower girls wearing?

Is SIL saying its just the older girls who dont want to wear it, or is she threatening to pull the 3 nieces off too? I too think its a lovely dress, but as a Mum of two girls 14 and 12, I think they'd feel awkward as they dont have the bust to carry this style off well.

Having said that - they're so fussy at that age anyhow and they both have totally different tastes in clothes and your nieces are probably the same, so it'll be almost impossible to make them all happy.

Since you dont really want the older girls anyway (you could argue perhaps about the expense and need to cut back a little) I wouldnt bother too much about trying to keep them and concentrate on the flower girls now, since the adult dresses are sorted.

Then the teenagers can wear whatever they want at your wedding and be happy.

kazwookie

I like the dress.

I think you have had a lucky escape, 3 less bm to worry about.

I would also suggest you remind people it is YOURS and H2B's wedding, and unless you NEED their help, they butt out, YOUR wedding YOUR choice.

Good luck.

charlie792

I agree with everyone else here - lovely dress....

Its your wedding, tough if they don't like it

lindaatno9

Yep, agree too. Dressses are fab! Elegant and grown up. Love them.
Imagine if you wanted to put them in something like this Chin up sweetie stick to your guns. Your day your way!