How much does it cost to live on your own?

studentphil

Alleycat wrote:

You would LIKE to live near your parents. It is not a NEED. You could therefore find suitable housing at £250 per month in and around Leeds.

Yes, thats true, but as my parents are all I have, well, there is little point if I dont live near them.

cupid_s

studentphil wrote:

Yes, thats true, but as my parents are all I have, well, there is little point if I dont live near them.

If you have that attitude they'll always be all you ever have.

I went to uni at a time where really my parents were all I had. I had the guts to move 130 miles away from them even though they're my best friends and I love them (and they gave me an awful lot of freedom when I lived at home - I had no complaints about anything).

In my second year of uni I moved in with a group of people, now I'm married to one of them, another one is my best friend, and another is married to her! You have to move away from your parents at some point if you want a life of your own. And what about your girlfriend? Would she like to think your parents are all you have?

I still miss my parents but they come to visit me and hubby every 5 weeks and they live 130 miles away. If you moved 10 miles away to a cheaper area of leeds you'd still be living near enough to see them whenever you wanted.

No one is saying move to the other side of the country!

Alleycat

studentphil wrote:

Yes, thats true, but as my parents are all I have, well, there is little point if I dont live near them.

I aint going down that road with you phil.

coyotekate

studentphil wrote:

Yes, thats true, but as my parents are all I have, well, there is little point if I dont live near them.

Find somewhere close to you parents if that makes you feel content and if you can't find anywhere you can afford on your own,consider sharing ,it won't necessarily mean that you have to live in each others pockets ,but it will lower the overall costs

Heth_2

studentphil wrote:

Yes, thats true, but as my parents are all I have, well, there is little point if I dont live near them.

What if you got your dream job and it meant moving away from them? You need to grow up and build your own life, independent from your parents. That doesn't mean you don't love them, can't talk to them and see them often, but you need your own life/job/interests/friends as well.
Also, my parents certainly like having their own lives 'back' now my sister and I aren't dependent on them anymore. They have more money for holidays and can spend time together and do things they didn't do when we lived at home, so in a sense it works both ways. Moving out of your parents home is another stage in life you should be ready to embrace.

Bargain_Rzl

Phil, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but:

Would it kill you to find a house-share with a couple of friendly flatmates? You seem quite socially isolated (based on the "my parents are all I have" comment) and I reckon it would do you good.

After graduation in 1999, I lived with my dad in Berkshire for a month with a view to moving to London, despite being quite shy and not knowing anybody there. I started temping, and found a house-share in SE London through an ad in Loot. Smallish room, cheap rent. I lived there for 2.5 years and went through a succession of housemates, some I got on with better than others, all were bearable though! Like you I'm quite a solitary person, and NOW I'm glad I'm moving in by myself, but that's after 7 years of sharing! I was even lucky enough to run into an old friend one day who was looking for a room locally, just when we had a spare one to let, and she put me back in touch with a lot of mates I'd lost contact with.

Sharing is great. You still have your own space but you also know that there's somebody around who will notice if you don't come home after a night out. You know that if you're feeling in need of somebody to talk to, there's a good chance that you'll come home to a friendly face and a nice glass of wine. And take it from me - you can almost always tell, when you view a room, whether the household is a "we share everything" household, a "we don't see each other unless we pass on the stairs" household, or a "we provide a bit of support for one another but all lead independent lives" household. I get the impression that like me, that last type would suit you just fine and bring you out of your shell a bit! (For what it's worth, I wouldn't really want to live in either of the other types of houseshare, and I'd guess you wouldn't either!)

studentphil

Granted Leeds is not the best place in the world, but it is meant to have good opportunities compared to anywhere compared to London. So it seems an okay place to live in that regard. Also, it really would be a very big step for me and my parents if I was to move a long way away.

I would be prepared to share, but cost wise it works out about the same as a one bed flat.

studentphil

The reason why I really would not like to houseshare as it would be no improvement to living at home.

The whole idea of me wanting to live on my own is privacy and to have a private life. I have friends who live in shared houses and they are not private as the living room is shared and stuff like that.

Shared Kitchens would drive me mad as there are always tons of washing up and no one eats the same stuff, so that would be too disordered for me as I like to cook, eat it, tidy it up and then relax.

Bargain_Rzl

Well, have you considered being a lodger?

You'd probably have almost complete privacy (though you may have to share the kitchen or bathroom or both, but not necessarily). You'd probably have all your bills included in your rent. It ought to be cheaper than living alone and you'd STILL have that reassurance of seeing another human being every so often.

The reason I suggested sharing for you was more for social reasons than financial ones. You do seem quite isolated and it might make you a more well-rounded person to live around others (not including your parents or people you met on MSE).

mrcow

studentphil wrote:

The reason why I really would not like to houseshare as it would be no improvement to living at home.

The whole idea of me wanting to live on my own is privacy and to have a private life.

Phil the LAST thing you need is more seclusion!

You need to go outside and interact with some real people. Living as a housemate with people your own age would be an excellent start.

You'd have better things to do on your Friday and Saturday nights other than chat on here. You'd have better things to do on your Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sundays nights too other than chat on here. You'd have better things to do with your days too other than chat on here!

You could talk to normal people about normal things that affect other people who are just like you! :T