What age to stop kids Xmas presents?

Pinklepurr

For those with large families who only buy presents for the children (eg. neices/nephews/friends kids etc) - at what age do you stop buying them gifts? 18, 21 - older or younger??

We are facing this dilemma and whilst not wanting to appear stingy, we don't feel we should continue past the ages of 18. It's not the cost (as this is usually limited to £10 pp) but more to do with the fact that we consider an 18 year old to be an adult, especially so if they are working etc.

What does everyone else think?

PP

finallydebtfree!!

Im 26 and from the time I started working at 18 Ive bought all my cousins presents but now their 18 and earning they dont return the favour (not that im expecting it) and also the past 2 christmas's I havent even recieved so much as a thanks from 3 of them! so unless they make an effort to keep in contact with me im afraid they dont get anything!

sturgeon62

We had this same discussion yesterday, I have waited until the youngest neice (in the same family) was 18, her sisters are now 20 and 21. All three are fully employed in good jobs and it just seemed silly putting money in a card, we would have done £10 also. I am going to make a goody hamper as I am sure they will be at their parents sometime over Christmas, and will label this for them all, just to show the thought is there.

Jo6673

we had this a few years ago with cousins- explained to Auntie that it had got to the stage where we never saw the girls and didn't really know them anymore or what they'd like- so stopped getting them
you may find they grumble about the gifts as teenagers do- or even take them back or throw them in a cupboard- so it might actually be a relief that you've stopped buying
Dont feel guilty for not buying for them- sure they'll have lots of other stuff and it won't spoil their Christmas!

Prudent

My grown up neices/ nephews tend to return to their familes for Christmas. I now just send something they can all share in on the day. Either a hamper or something like a funny book or daft game. Last year I sent the blue day book, expensive chocies and an intelligence test kit for the dog (which was much enjoyed). Still thinking of them, but sparing them the thank you letters.

Pinklepurr

Thank you everyone for your replies so far. In fact, without giving too much away, we have raised the subject already with the parents of the "children" concerned and got a shockingly ungrateful reply!

recovering_spendaholic

I think it depends on the type of relationship you have with them. If you see them regularly and are close then I think a small well thought out present is lovely, but if you never see or hear from them then I wouldn't buy anything.

southwestmaid

Difficult one, I think it depends how close you are to them really, and what you can afford. My husband has 6 sisters and 1 brother, between them they have 15 children, I have one sister and she has two children.

My husbands family have several birthdays in December, including my own son. What we do is give a bit bigger present on all of their birthdays. At least it spreads the cost a bit. We stop when they get to 18. The eldest is 26 this year and some of them now have children of their own but we've not started with presents for the great nieces and nephews. As they are spread all over the country we don't really see a lot of them.

I give to my sisters 2 children Christmas and birthdays and will probably carry on giving until they have kids of their own as we are very close and live near each other.

yummynanny

In our family brothers and sisters continue to buy for one another until they have children at which point they stop receiving and the children start. Nieces and nephews stop getting gifts when they leave full time education or stop sending thank you letters, whichever is the sooner. Of course your own children and grandchildren continue to receive gifts for ever and ever. Luckily, this system has been adopted for years throughout our family and works very well.

Jo6673

I've got the issue whereby my best friend has 4 kids and I have one- for birthdays I send £10 for each (and at Christmas)- she sends my child the same
so thats an £80 outlay for me every year and a £20 one for her!!
They lived abroad til recently and I used to send a cheque- which she'd hang onto and bank randomly- usually when i could least afford her to
Thankfully they're back home so its vouchers from now on as I've got more control that way!

princess_moomoo

Pinklepurr wrote:

Thank you everyone for your replies so far. In fact, without giving too much away, we have raised the subject already with the parents of the "children" concerned and got a shockingly ungrateful reply!

If you have had a shockingly ungrateful reply theres your answer. I wouldnt bother!!

Good luck with whatever you decide XX