Funerals

jackieglasgow

I am sure there is a legal reason you need to be embalmed before burial / cremation, and only a qualified embalmer can do this for you. There is no need to have a religious service. There are lots of organisations/people out there who do this, there are also lots of alternative coffins and burial grounds out there, such as woods and scenic areas. Google humanist funeral arrangements.

xoxo_2

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I am sure there is a legal reason you need to be embalmed before burial / cremation, and only a qualified embalmer can do this for you.

I don't think there is. I've looked in to it a lot recently (because I definitely do not want to be embalmed) and as far as I have found the only reason you would need to be embalmed is if your loved ones wish to visit you in the chapel of rest, and that is only to improve the appearance of your body.

http://www.funeralhelper.org/embalming-information-about-embalming.html

DUKE

I feel the same about wasting good money on a funeral Scooby. It's disgusting how they cash in on a death. I recently went with my Mom to the undertakers as she wanted to pay for her own funeral (she must've known what I was planning & didn't fancy it) which cost £3,000! That's just basic, & it didn't include opening up the grave (my Dad's in there) either. I vaguely remember watching a programme on TV years ago about a family who did their own funerals, they used a cardboard coffin ....

SurreyBear

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I am sure there is a legal reason you need to be embalmed before burial / cremation, and only a qualified embalmer can do this for you.

Embalming is not required and many Funeral Directors don't do it. When I was a Funeral Director we would occasionally hire in an Embalmer where there was significant delay before the funeral, or where repatriation was required.

OP - you don't need an Funeral Director, absolutely, but your relatives many appreciate having that stress taken from them. That is, there are legal requirements that have to be complied with for both burial and cremation and these aren't always straight forward.

As for leaving your body to medical science - the vast majority of such bodies are rejected by medial science because scientists have very definite specifications for what they need. And that rejection can actually cause a lot of stress on the relatives. Not saying don't do it, but it can't be relied upon.

I worked for an independent Co-operative and our funeral plans were (and still are I think) very good value - particularly if you go bespoke and avoid the packages.

That said, clients would often just set up a savings fund for their funeral and leave instructions on what to do upon death with the Funeral Director and relatives. We had a safe full of instructions that we have accepted over the years in goodwill - and they were useful when it did happen.

Person_one

DUKE wrote: »

I feel the same about wasting good money on a funeral Scooby. It's disgusting how they cash in on a death. I recently went with my Mom to the undertakers as she wanted to pay for her own funeral (she must've known what I was planning & didn't fancy it) which cost £3,000! That's just basic, & it didn't include opening up the grave (my Dad's in there) either. I vaguely remember watching a programme on TV years ago about a family who did their own funerals, they used a cardboard coffin ....

Funeral directors can be wonderful at a grieving family's time of need. They are usually very skilled, sensitive and make things easy for people at a difficult time.

They're not just money grabbers, one firm I know of were just as sensitive, respectful and helpful to a struggling poor family who would have to pay in instalments for years as they were to the richest families having a horse and carriage.

Remember, funerals aren't for the deceased, they're for the ones left behind.

twi1ight

You don't have to use an undertaker. If you don't, you're nearest am dearest would need to sort out the crematorium booking and collection, storage and transport of your remains. It's not impossible but for many is a bit much to bear at a sad time and if they haven't done it before it may be too much. If you are concerned about it and determined to avoid an undertaker then look into what they would have to do (I.e. Get all the information together to make it easer for them). Or you could try and find an undertaker you are happy will provide only the necessary and not charge for extras you don't want.

And as for the service, you can have whatever you want. Search online for Civil Funerals.

no.1swimmum

I have made it quite clear to my husband and boys that I want no fuss or waste of money, although I am a church goer etc.

I use to work at our church centre and one day had quite a surreal conversation with our then vicar and between us we decided that we would start our own green funeral business with build your own flat pack coffin (in your retirement) , hiring out a car trailer and plastic flowers. We got some strange looks because we were in hysterics (I think he thougt he had to cheer me up as we had just held a funeral for a 70+ person who only had his social worker and the vicar there, i went in to make up the numbers cos I can cry at anything - should be a proffessional mourner)

But in all seriousness I have told my family that spending uneccessary money will not bring me back or them feel any less sad (i hope) I would rather the money go to a charity. I have often said that I want a cardboard coffin if they are available - if not a black sack!!

Person_one

Actually cardboard coffins are more expensive than the most basic pine ones, I'm not sure why maybe because its trendy or maybe because its actually harder to make a cardboard box sturdy enough to carry a human body in.

My family can do whatever they want with me when I die, as long as they remember to donate my organs first if its an option. I'm only in my twenties but when I'm more financially stable I'll put some money aside.

iolanthe07

A neighbour lost her son aged 24. He had left instructions that there was to be no commemoration of any kind, civil or religious. She was absolutely distraught and to this day has not really had closure. As others have said, the ceremonies are for those you leave behind and it is selfish not to take them into consideration.

flora48

I have had to bury my husband and both my parents in the past 7 years and I never found the Funeral Directors to be pushy and money grabbing, they were sensitive and supportive and enabled my wishes to be carried out. There is no requirement for any religious or humanist service, I had the basic coffins, you can order as many cars as you wish, I just had the hearse for my father. I am not sure how many people would be up to managing the body themselves and negotiating all the necessay paperwork.