help with 4 year old daughter pls

mandi

Hi ,

How about you both go shopping tomorrow for a " very special " lamp of her choice , maybe one with a dimmer switch so she can adjust the light herself .

Not saying for one second this will solve your problem but worth a try .:)

Good Luck

Counting_Pennies_2

I would suggest some form of bribery.

My son recently lost his first tooth, and in the morning was over joyed with his coin under his pillow.

My three year old said 'I want one of those'.

I suggested if she stayed in bed all night (and not freak me out standing over me several times each night! for the last four weeks) that I would give her a coin.

Funnily enough, she stayed in bed. A shiny 2 pence piece was her reward and she had great joy putting it in her piggy

onlyroz

Definitely bribery - buy a small toy and say she can have it if she goes five nights without making a fuss. Draw up a chart and fill it with ticks and crosses. When she gets five ticks in a row give her the toy. If she gets a cross then shake your head and say how disappointed you are in her, and it's such a shame that she won't be getting the toy any time soon.

meritaten

how are you getting on OP? was she ok last night? if so, what did you try? if not, any thoughts on why it didnt work?

Bloomin_Freezing2

meritaten wrote: »

she may have told you and you have dismissed it as nonsense - such as monsters under the bed. one of my kids was plagued by demons under the bed at about 5 or 6 - so I worked an elaborate spell to keep them away - meant nothing to me but son was reassured and slept better.

brings back memories of having to 'pull' monsters out from under the bed, march them down stairs, throw them out of the front door and shot "and don't come back". Wonder what the neighbours thought was going on!

headcrash27

I also think it sounds like fear/anxiety. My daughter is 4 as well and we have had similar issues with her over the past couple of years. I would let her put her door how she likes it, maybe have a chat with her in the daytime (when she's calm) and ask her to show you how likes her door at nightime and see if this leads on to her letting you know why that is. She may not know though, sometimes kids have irrational fears. If all else fails i would take the door off for a few months as you can't carry on as you are.

32kickstart

I've had the same problems. I did the sitting by the bed and slowly moving away, which took about 4 months, but did make it a bit better. In the end I got a nightlight (the autofade one from jojo maman baby was the best for us - have it on full for stories, then dim it to how she wants it, you can also set it to gradually fade away over 15 minutes). Turned out she had become petrified of the dark. We still get the odd cry of protest for a few minutes but not the awful hysterics.

Ms_Magnetite

Has she seen any episodes of Supernanny by accident and got the idea that it might be fun? Or has there been a book at nursery that has been about making a fuss at bedtime?



If she can't tell you without being coached that she is scared of monsters, then she is being a pain. And a small screeching pain is best dealt with by not making a fuss. If you stay (and get really stressed) she screams. If you walk away and don't reward her fussing, she screams. Either way, you lose. So why stand there and let two stone of rage dictate to you what happens?

'I'll be downstairs. I'll come back when you're all settled.'

or, for the more fraught (requires a helpful friend or a sneaky speeddial on the mobile to the landline)

WAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAAAA!!!

'Oh, goodness me! Who can that be on the phone? I'll be right back, sweetie' [disappear quickly, having cut child off in mid scream]


If she scweams and scweams and scweams until she is sick, then I suggest a waterproof base sheet and when it happens, you go in and say 'oh dear. Here's the bucket, you need to take the covers off whilst I go and get new ones' [walk away]. Odds are that having to take the sheets off herself wasn't in the plan. Then you do the same as before and walk away.

There are children who learn the easiest way to control a parent is to do things like this. If you allow her to do so, she could be encouraged to see vomiting as a means of control in other ways, which is a very bad outlook.



None of that 'I'm frightened of the dark stuff' went on at magnetite towers. It was never allowed to become a handy excuse. Offspring posed other problems, but sleeping safely/happily/without return visits other than for genuine illness was a priority.