mediation

belfastgirl23

Just to say if he's mentioning her in mediation and you don't like it, say it's hurtful and you'd like him to avoid it where possible.

When your LOs are away try to get some exercise, even go for a good brisk walk. It helps calm you down and helps you sleep as well!

Sounds like you did very well though!!

squidge60

Hi wondered where you have been !

Sorry no real positive input but a :grouphug: x

denton6

hi two little ones are 9 and 7. just feel like a large part of me is missing today.they are happy been with there dad so i should be happy. it's me that cant handle been on my own. we had our first son when we were only young and that is the reason why i have never been on my own. at 41 its scary. we went straight from living with parents to been parents.

soupdragon10

Could you perhaps invite a friend or relative over for part of the day next time your children visit their father? Perhaps they could come for lunch, or you could go out somewhere.

This might help to break the day up - I agree endless hours in an empty house is an absolute nightmare and they do seem endless when you are getting used to being on your own.

You don't mention if you work or not - again having to study/train or take qualifications can fill time amazingly, and you benefit from the 'quiet time' to do uninterupted book work.

Hope this weekend wasn't too bad - hope it become easier as time goes by.

denton6

hi yer i work part time, sat and sunday am 8-12 and then two other days in week 8-11am, so not a huge amount of hours. I am on a basic maths and english course, they finish next month they are 16 weeks in total. im at work this morning, then going to hypnotherapy, need to get a few bits of shopping and boys are coming home about half 6 tonight. then tomorrow i will be taking boys to school, have a councilling appointment, then my maths course then back to pick the boys up from school. its hard getting the balance, i want to keep busy but then get bit flustered when rushing form here to there. thanks for replies all. slept ok ish last night without sleeping tablet, gonna try and not take one unless i really need to. was awake at 6 but was getting up at half 6 anyway so not a problem. well best go thanks all.x

belfastgirl23

The one thing I will say Denton, if it helps, is that this is probably as bad as it gets. Which is not obviously good when it's happening but what it does mean is that the only way is up. Things will improve. You are working towards improving your life by taking your courses and you will gradually adjust to your new situation. Don't beat yourself up that it isn't happening overnight, you need time to come to terms with everything. But one day you will look back on this period and barely be able to remember some of how you're feeling. For now, one day at a time...you're doing brilliantly.

denton6

thankyou. have been to hypnotherapy today ,then went to the gym, have came home and now gonna jump in the shower before the boys get home from dads.

denton6

have had three fairly positives days. ie that i havent cried. today i have came home and my post is giving me the info on when our divorce will be read out in court on the decree nisi. now crying again. whatever has gone on i cant think how been divorced is going to make me feel any better. all i am doing is giving him the right to be with her perimately. my dr says than when the divorce comes through i will feel so much better. How does he work this one out.? yes i was the ione that filed the divorce and i know it has to be the next step. how did my life ever turn out like this. need a positive again to help me move on.

soupdragon10

Once you have the decree absolute in your hand it does (at least for me it did) give you a feeling of finality. Yes you will be upset, and it's not an easy time, but it does draw a line finishing one chapter of your life.

Time to start the plot outline for the next chapter - you already have a pretty full time, what with your job, classes and looking after your children, the only thing not in there is something for you to have fun doing! Doesn't have to cost a lot (or anything necessarily), but do think about what you maybe used to enjoy doing before you got married, had children etc..

Or is there something that you've always wanted to have a go at but never tried? For me, having the luxury of sitting down with a book for an hour (something my ex never liked me doing) is bliss.

Sending you a huge cyber hug hoping you have a better evening and a good day tomorrow.

belfastgirl23

Hey you had three better days. That must be proof positive to you that you are getting stronger and better. Yes it will take a while, there's no question about that, and for every three steps forward there might be a step back. But a week ago would you have thought you could have three days without crying!!

Good luck!