How do you cope as a separated parent? emotionally and financially

Loopy_Girl

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Perhaps you can take a little comfort from the fact that nearly all children get to an age where they defy or evade the parent with whom they live and very determinedly and independently seek out the maligned parent.

Where did you get this information from?

Loopy_Girl

ford_prefect wrote: »

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3: CSA - I guess your on version 3 called CMEC but if your on CSA 2 calculation then alternate weekends would make your assessment 5/7ths of 15%. The CSA are notoriously bad with figures so make sure they have included bits like your pension contributions etc before they get to an assessable figure.

Pension contributions etc?

What's the etc? The OP will pay 15% of her salary less any overnight stays. Which, as she gets him every other weekend, 1/7 reduction weekly.

The only figure taken into consideration for CS2 cases is any pension conts.

Loopy_Girl

OP - I notice you say you are on CMEC and I am worried you think this is 'version 3'.

There is no such thing as version 3 (as yet). It is meant to be getting rolled out this year but there is more chance of pigs flying.

You may get some corre with CMEC at the top but the CSA are still known as the CSA and you are on the 'new rules' system (sometimes known as CS2)

Glad you have a friend that works there to help you through the proceed - am assuming he has checked that you liablilty is spot on..

nannon

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

OP - I notice you say you are on CMEC and I am worried you think this is 'version 3'.

There is no such thing as version 3 (as yet). It is meant to be getting rolled out this year but there is more chance of pigs flying.

You may get some corre with CMEC at the top but the CSA are still known as the CSA and you are on the 'new rules' system (sometimes known as CS2)

Glad you have a friend that works there to help you through the proceed - am assuming he has checked that you liablilty is spot on..

Ok thanks for that info.. I've edited my post up top to show my views on CSA. It was me who wanted to do it cover my back. And also the fact that a family friend could help me made me feel more comfortable (as we all know CSA's reputation) Yes I have had some letters with CMEC on (I thought that was the plan not the agency.. my bad) but had some with CSA on too!

Loopy_Girl

nannon wrote: »

Ok thanks for that info.. I've edited my post up top to show my views on CSA. It was me who wanted to do it cover my back. And also the fact that a family friend could help me made me feel more comfortable (as we all know CSA's reputation) Yes I have had some letters with CMEC on (I thought that was the plan not the agency.. my bad) but had some with CSA on too!

Ahh you're welcome - I just hate seeing someone being given duff info.

FWIW I think you sound like a really good parent and I too am surprised you lost custody of your Son - rightly or wrongly (and in this case it sounds like it would have been a rightly) in this country the Mum is favoured as main carer.

Kids don't need many material things and I bet the fact he is seeing his Mum is enough for him and he's not expecting a weekend full of bells and whistles.

I hope you get on really well.

Wilma33

Swimming is a good activity for his visits. Kids swim free in many areas. It's fun, keep him fit and is a great life skill.

ford_prefect_3

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Pension contributions etc?

What's the etc? The OP will pay 15% of her salary less any overnight stays. Which, as she gets him every other weekend, 1/7 reduction weekly.

The only figure taken into consideration for CS2 cases is any pension conts.

The etc. ranges from payments for school fee's through to payments on a property you have no future interest in and could also include variation items like large contact costs.

far2812

Hi Op!

Have you joined MATCH (mother's apart from their children)?

Here's the link! MATCH mothers

I too am a NRP parent, and the support group there is great!

(and of course on here too!)

far2812

Sorry for short previous post, was just dashing out but wanted to post something before I dashed out!

You are in a very difficult position I know, it is heart wrenching to be apart from your child. My daughter has just turned 5 - I am lucky to see her every weekend too and initially found the same issues as you with what to do with her.

It is always harder in the winter - but if you trawl google - type in "free things to do with kids" there is all sorts.

Do you take your DS to your home? If so, there's lots of things like making cookies, cakes, biscuits etc. Kids always love painting and drawing.

Do you have any pets?

Like I said in my previous post - please look up the MATCH mother's website - once you join you can join the weekly email in your local area. There is so much support from other women in similar position as us.

If you want to PM for further advice, please feel free (sorry not excluding anyone but it can be a sad situation!)

XX

ford_prefect_3

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

The new rulings have not been implemented yet....

I didnt say they had, hence my comment about the CSA2 calculation and what its composed of.

If CMEC hasnt been imposed yet its interesting that my current re assessment is going to be based on the new calculation even though I am on CSA2 but the machinations of the CSA are one of the many dark arts.

Combine that with the CMEC compliance rules and penalties and it appears we are getting CMEC by stealth.

And thats despite all the poor sods on CSA1 not being moved over to CSA2