I am feeling lost and confused. My husband has left me.

Debicj

I've been in your shoes and I understand you being worried. However, as others have said (you won't believe it now but IT IS TRUE) things will get better in time. Like me, you may even feel eventually, that it is good thing to have happened.

Just to back up what others have said, get on to your Job Centre or claim online. They are generally helpful in this situation. I even got a home visit to help me fill the forms in rather than have to take the kids into their office.

Financially, you should be ok as you'll get Housing Allowance, Council Tax Benefit and Tax Credits. Make sure you also get what you are entitled to in maintenance for the kids, either via the CSA or by mutual agreement with your ex. A word of advice though, don't trust him to come up with the money willingly and don't be soft with him over this. So many people give the NRP an easy time at first then have a massive fight to get anything for the kids later. Start as you mean to go on. They are his responsibility don't let him walk away from it.

Good luck.

jak

Ask your health visitor about healthy start vouchers. They need to sign the form. Worth doing as can be used fro fruit,veg and milk x

demir2424

Hello,

I am in a similar situation to yourself. My husband left me last september and I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. The only difference is I work part time at the moment.

I have found this forum very helpful and most of the op on the forum are lovely.

Please make a new claim as soon as you can with Tax credits, contact csa and put a claim in for maintenance asap also look at getting an appointment with your local citizens advice or job centre for a benefit check. Contact your local council to receive a 25% discount on your council tax or you may be able to receive council tax credit.

Stay strong like I am trying to do just for your children. My ex husband is a real a***hole and is making every process difficult for me and the children. Good luck and keep us posted with any developments.

empathy_2

Hi onescaredmummy....I was in your position last Septmenber I am so sad for you especially with three young babies you must be devastated....it is a bit like a grieving process and while you are sorting out all the stuff with benefits and have some focus you will find a way to get through it I am sure you are a strong woman although you may not feel it at the moment....I have stopped sobbing every night now the eyes have had enough.!!..I did go to relate on my own for a few sesions it was good to talk to someone who had heard all this before and would just listen even if I just needed to cry away from my home..this is a great service and you can google to find your local centre....best not tell your land lord about your benefits as a lot do not like this as it makes them insecure about their rent and provided you are meeting your payments there is no need for them to know you could ring the agent and ask if they accept tennants on benefits just to test the water or ask someone else to ... I hope you have a good family around you to help you through this....dont be scared you can do this and try not to listen too much to negative stuff you are not going to know how you feel for some time...keep well take care of you the babies will be ok if you are ok ....

kingfisherblue

Lots of good advice already, so I can't add much more, except that you should open a bank account in your name only, if you do not already have one. Income support will not pay into a joint account. I am also a single parent of three (almost six years, now - and as others have said, it really does get better!). I have my child tax credits paid into the Post Office each week, so that I have weekly money to budget with. Other benefits are paid into my bank account and are used to pay the direct debits.

When my ex left, I didn't have any money. If you can, think about opening a credit union account at some point in the near future. Even if you can only save £1 a week, it will help towards Christmas and can help prevent you getting into debt. If you do need to borrow money, regular savers can borrow at low interest rates. My CU charges £2 joining fee and pays dividends once a year.

You care hurting now, as well as worrying about money, your kids, your tenancy, etc. I found that writing lists helped me to keep track of where I was up to. I wish that I had known that this site existed when my marriage broke up - posters are mostly very supportive.

Take care x

halibut2209

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Income support will not pay into a joint account.

Is this a recent thing? My wife and I had a joint account and received IS. We separated in 2009 and the IS continued to be paid into it despite them knowing we had separated

Cute_Mouse

Once scared mummy...I don’t have the same knowledge of benefits as others round her, so this is just a little note to say my thoughts are with you.