Benefits for working families

lauzellen

A child being put into childcare with a childminder or nursery is not the end of the world and they quickly adapt.. I had to put my daughter in aged one (literally had just turned 2 weeks prior) as I became a single parent and did not want to sit in IS - she has blossomed into a confident little girl who is not scared of any social occassion and will talk confidently to people. She gets to do a lot more creative stuff at nursery more often than we do at home, she has made many friends and thoroughly enjoyed it. My daughter would cry if I left her on her own while I popped the toilet but never once cried when being left at nursery. As the previous poster said why not give it a try and see if it is for you? You may find your child loves it! It would help you to get out of the dire straights you have got into.

Indie_Kid

Nursery isn't always a bad thing. It does mean the child can interact with children of their own age.

SingleSue

ceejaydee23 wrote: »

I have said thanks to those posts I have found useful, basically those that havent deemed make make me feel insulted, as I've already said that I hadnt been sitting on my bum, as for the last 6 months id been doing an avon business, yes im registered as self employed! I had already told my area manager i was leaving but this morning, have notified her that I will be trying to do things differently this time, instead of trying to push myself harder then i could cope with and concentrate on the customers i DO have. I'm also going to contact as many of our local shops as possible to see if they might have any saturday/sunday hours available. As i put to my other half last night if i was to work at least some hours, it would work out better financially then him to keep doing overtime. and as someone else had mentioned even if i am only making 20-30 every 3 weeks its something! As before my other half had said that any money i made from it was mine and mine alone, but we cant afford to do that now!

I made a post earlier on this morning while the site was still up, pressed the button to post it and the site went offline at the same moment so it was lost in the ether.

Anyway, I think the gist of it was, well done on deciding to make that first step and it is a start but I think both yourself and your partner are going to have to do a little more.

Stopping his overtime is not going to improve things, even if you take a part time job at the weekend...you are just going to keep the status quo. You really need to find something that will give extra over and above what you are currently receiving in.

My now ex husband, took on the cleaning of his own office to get extra pennies, so he would finish his shift and if he was on earlies, clean the office, if he was on lates, he would wait for me to come home from my shift and then go back to do the cleaning....twice a week.

Weekends were important for us and we tried to have family time on a Saturday afternoon, something that would not have been possible if I had been working every Saturday. Yes, I did some shifts on a Saturday morning (as did he), taking the children along with me...amazing how hole punchers, staplers etc can keep a 5 year old entertained :rotfl:, so my advice would be to try to see if there is anything you can do in the evenings during the week, working around his hours and to keep at least part of the weekend free for relaxation and family time.

I would advise though, not to overdo things straight off, to take on more than you can cope with otherwise it will fail. You need to start with the hours you believe you can manage easily and as time goes on, increase those hours but not so much it starts to impact on your health or family. You need to remember to plan in relaxation time otherwise you will just work yourself into the ground.

It will be difficult in the beginning, especially with planning the household but it does become easier if you stick with it. It is also a very scary step, I must admit, I was scared into silence and could hardly move on my first shift and I was used to working in that enviroment!

Anyway, well done on coming to a decision but remember, the path will not always be easy, sometimes it will appear impossible but you need to persevere...it will improve.

katygeorge

hi ceejaydee23

im not going to make any comment on the benefit stuff as i dont have a clue, im on here looking for help my self. But to the childcare i work in the childcare sector in a very good nursery that has an outstanding from ofsted, and i specialise in the under 2's. i can fully understand you wanting to be with your child and know pretty much all the different reasons why parents find it hard to hand over there child to somebody else, but i can also see the major benefits of doing so, not making a judgement on your parenting but a nursery environment will provide things you can not provide at home, and trust me getting a 1 year old to settle in to nursery in so much easier than trying to settle a 4 year old who has never really been left before so nursery now is actually better for you child emotionally than trying to put him in to school at 4.
i do strongly advise you go and have a show round of all you local nurserys, and if you would prefer a more homely setting look at child minders, most of them charge by the hour so you only pay for what you use, and tax credits will pay up to 70% of childcare cost for you to go back to work even if only part time. Im sure you will see what i mean if you go and actually visit some nurserys a lot has changed over the years in the childcare sector and you may be pleasantly surprised

chaosweddings

Im a mum of 1, my son went to a childminder from 4 months old, does that make me a bad mum because i didnt want to be on Is or claim more benifts, it has not done him any harm. he is doing well at school and is a loving child.

I would love not to have to work and stay at home all day looking after my son, i suffer with a heart problem, ibs and panic attacks but i still chose to get over my problems to go to work every day so we can have our luxuries.

we only get child tax credit of £10 per week and child benefit, no council tax or housing benefit and dh and my wage together is lowish compared to others

Pink-Angel

I'm sorry you seem offended by the idea of working, I can assure you nothing in my post is meant unkindly. it does sound as if getting a job might be the best way to help with the debts. I can appreciate the idea of staying at home might be a nice one, but I believe it should only be ok if couples can fund it themsleves, as it's not really fair for taxpayers to fund people staying at home with their children. My sister never had the option of staying at home - her husband died tragically when she was pregnant and she had to return to work after her son was born because she couldn't survive financially without working (and was determined not to live off benefits). If you're concerned about your child going into childcare, what I can say is that there is a lot of good childcare out there, and there is a lot of eveidence to suggest mixing with other children from a young age is beneficial. My nephew is very confident, he loved nursery, and he doesn't seem to have suffered in any way, in fact we feels it's actually helped his development. I tired Avon myself, it's actually very hard to earn a decent wage on it. It might be possible to find a job that works around your husband's hours if you look around. Good luck!