Advice about pregnancy and changing jobs appreciated

kate6000

Hi,
I'm after some impartial advice about something I have been mulling over.

My husband is in the army and we have decided we are in a point in our lives where we would like to have a baby.

I work in a well paid job however we live away from our families, due to this he is getting reposted closer to where our families are and I will follow which would be better if we had a family.

We have been trying to conceive for a couple of months and I am also looking for a job in the area my husband would be moving to, so far I have applied for one and got through the first stage of interview.

Now the question - is it right for me to continue down this path knowing that if I get offered the job I may need maternity leave shortly afterwards or should I stay in the job I am in with the assumption I get pregnant in the next couple of months then claim the (generous) maternity benefits from my current company and not return, move up north then look for a job after maternity leave (if I take this option I wouldn't have to pay my current company back the maternity benefits)

This has been playing on my mind as I don't want to frustrate a new company by joining then disappearing shortly afterwards but at the same time I don't want to struggle getting a new job if I take the 2nd option

All views and opinions are greatly received, especially if you have been in a similar predicament or work as a manager who would have to deal with someone doing this

Thanks
Kate

annibee

Hi Kate,

Your doing the right thing in thinking things over first so that you can be fully prepared once baby is on way.

I suppose you should sit with oh and work out the pro's and cons of each desicion
* If you stay in job and then leave after mat leave
* If you leave now and look for job

I was in a similar sit in that we decided we wanted another baby however my job became pretty much unbearable in the lead up and I had to decide wether to stick it out or find a new job. I decided to stick it out as the pro's and risks seemed more sensible at the time esp in regards to pay.

The other thing worth mentioning that having a baby does change your views on things and you may decide you want a part time job or a home based job.

Theres nothing stopping you looking for a new job halfway through your maternity leave that way if it takes longer to find one than you expected your still getting paid etc.

ETA - when I was pregnant with ds1 I found out I was pregnant the day before I started working for a new company - they were really supportive allowed me to attend training courses etc even though Id only be there short term before baby came so some companies are fine with it.

Hope this helps

Pee

I don't want to be negative, but I have been trying to conceive for over two years now and whilst I haven't changed jobs in that time, I am sure a lot of other people have. Hopefully you will get pregnant very soon, but I think the average time period is six or twelve months.

I had a secretary who we interviewed, gave the job to and then on the day she was due to start wrote to say that she was pregnant and for health reasons wouldn't be able to work through her pregnancy so couldn't start. It was a small firm and very annoying, but it worked itself out well. I might be less philosophical if I had spent six months training her but I'd rather someone left because they were pregnant and maybe decided not to come back to work, or to work elsewhere than left because they couldn't stand me!

Bufger

Hi Kate.

First of all try not to think about the companies involved too much as it should be about whats best for your family. The only time you should think about consequence is when the impact will either be financial or social. If you move jobs will you have worked for X number of weeks before you're 15 weeks pregnant so you are entitled to paternity leave (i cant remember what the X weeks is but they will tell you on the 12 weeks pregnant thread). If you move to a new job and go straight on maternity will this leave your colleagues or manager thinking less of you?

I work for a big company in the midlands that pays full pay for the whole 12 months, we have women that use this company to get paid to have lots of children!! the record is 12 years service with 7 kids and we think only a few months of actual work - nothing the company can do. Its not even frowned upon in big companies as people use them all the time. You would only normally have a social problem if it were a smaller company you're leaving/moving to where the impact of your plan would directly effect the workload of your colleagues dramatically.

So do whats best for you. if your current company pays alot then go with that maternity leave, come back for a week (commute) and leave. You can be jobsearching and getting interviews in the last few months of maternity

clw1

It may take a long time to concieve and so I would say that you should look for other jobs and if one you want is offered to you then take it. I wouldn't worry about possibly taking maternity leave less than a year into a new job.

Also it will be easier for you if you live in the area now rather than moving just before the baby is born as you can then get settled and begin to make friends in the area etc.

kimmi_b

Don't forget that if you stay in existing company and not return after maternity leave, then they can ask you to pay back the allowance received. Well, it's written into our maternity leave policy anyway.

Not sure how many companies actually enforce this rule but it's certainly around.

Apricot

Personally, I would do what makes you happiest. As others have said it can take a very long time to conceive (not saying that this will eb the case with you but something to be aware of) - to qualify for Statutory Maternity Pay you need to be employed by a company for 26 weeks by your 15th week of pregnancy.
If you stayed in your current company and chose not to return after maternity leave - most have a clause in their terms to say that you are able to keep the statutory part of your pay but the "enhanced" pay must be paid back if you don't return for x amount of weeks/months.

Kittendreich

There are lots of things to weigh up - I've stayed in the job I'm in whilst ttc as we'll really need my maternity pay...however nearly 3 years of trying later I hate my job and could have moved and got maternity rights elsewhere. In most companies you have to return for a certain length of time after maternity or pay back your pay (3 months for my public sector employer). You also won't get full maternity rights in most companies until you have been in post a certain amount of time. So you need to balance the financial aspects of whether you can cope if you conceive at the 'wrong' time to get maternity pay and the social aspects of getting on with your life despite ttc in case it takes a while.

daleigha

I was in a similar situation - after we got married we wanted to TTC, but I also hated my job.

I decided to start looking for a new job and TTC, and see what one came first. The new job came first, after about 3 months of TTC and job hunting, so we stopped TTC while I worked my notice and for the first month in the job, and then started again - as other posters pointed out, it can take a long time to get pregnant.

Of course I got pregnant that month!! I did feel bad as I hadn't been in the job long, but there isn't really anything the company could say about it - there wasn't any bad feeling as far as I am aware.

I only got a small amount of additional maternity pay, so it hasn't cost them much, and I was there for 9 months until I left to go on maternity - at the end of the day so many people leave to go to new jobs within 6 months or a year of starting one job, so it isn't really any different to go on maternity, in my opinion - people move on all the time and employing someone is no guarantee of a long term employee.

So basically, do what will make you most happy right now. If it's living near your family - find a new job there. Start TTC and worry about telling the employer when it happens. Start saving to cover the shortfall in wages if you'll only get SMP. If you fall pregnant before getting a new job, then stay there and look for something else while on maternity. This was my plan anyway!!

ilovecushions

Just wanted to thrown in my own situation. I hated my job, too stressful, too many hours, too much heavy lifting. I quit to work self employed whilst we TTC. I will still get (hopefully, who know's what cut backs will be made) Maternity Allowance and hopefully will be able to work a bit after my maternity leave. Not an option for everyone but it suits us well. We have very limited budget now but I've done all the sums and we can manage another mouth to feed. I am much happier and hopefully that will mean it'll take less time to conceive and we'll be less stressed about the whole situation.

I think thats what you have to ask yourself. What is going to make you the most happy regardless of TTC? Do what makes you happy and when you do conceive you'll be even happier.

clairec79

If you aren't returning to the current company you likely won't get the additional maternity benefits, all the ones I've seen state you have to return for a period of time or repay the difference between what the company gave you and SMP