Advice please-dodgy husband alert

Phoenix79_2

Heh, women just don't 'get' !!!!!!! Men are very visual creatures.

We don't feel the need to own 80 pairs of shoes do we?!

mrslawrence2003

Phoenix79 wrote:

Heh, women just don't 'get' !!!!!!! Men are very visual creatures.

We don't feel the need to own 80 pairs of shoes do we?!

i think you'll find some of us most certainly do 'get' it.

ZTD

The differences between men and women with regards to pornography are more down to dogma, than actuality.

The only time there is a real persistant difference is early teens/late pre-teens as girls mature more quickly than boys.

sammy115

rjm2k1 wrote:

I think this is a troll, given the 1 post, however ..

Not sure what a troll is, or why anyone would post them something like this... but maybe i am naive.

I think the underlying issue is that while someone is working themselves to death without time to themselves, to find the OH doing this must hurt. My OH used to look at sites like these (worse possibly) but I joke with him now about it. I know he loves me.

And maybe one of the posters is right and if you are working so hard maybe he is missing some home comforts. I think its time you spent some quality time together.

wendy_ann1983

I found out my BF had been watching !!!!!! on my computer (whilst having a hard drive spring clean), but rather than get upset and stressed I spoke to him about and explained that I wasnt happy with him downloading it on to my laptop. The !!!!!! itself wasn't the problem it was the junk that downloads with it.
We haven't been together that long but we trust each other enough not to spy on each other.
The only problem I see is that you resent the fact that he is playing on the computer whilst you are working, which I understand. You really need to sit down and talk to him, tell him that you don't feel you should be working this hard to pay off joint debts if he isn't going to help. Does he do the housework? If he expects you to do that as well, say NO if you are out at work, he can do the housework.

whybotheranymore

Thank you for giving me your advice. I can assure you all that this post is neither a wind up or the rantings of a troll. Having reread my post i must admit that it does seem like a huge overreaction though. In my defence i will say i had only just found it and despite having a large supportive family on both sides our parents have been friends all their adult life, we have known each other all our lives(my mother in law is also my godmother.) So all our friends are joint. I only posted because i didnt have anyone else to ask.Also it was a huge shock,still is and i still feel totally betrayed. I have really taken stock of everything of course i wont leave my husband because of this that was a silly thing to say and i'm sorry. I have changed the history thank you for telling me how to do it. As for the spyware well, i dont know i have written everything down and will think it over.Sunday was very busy which helped me a lot. I was always doing a double shift as the pub had a fireworks display so was all hands to the pumps. Got home about 8.30 andhad a talk to my husband. I did not mention thecomputer stuf i am not ready for that yet.We talked about the debt(have very different attitudes to it) my being out so much, our plans and also just had a chat. The upshot is that he now reailises just how much clearing everything means to me and i reailise why he thinks im worrying about nothing. I felt wiped out and i must admit that yesterday i called into work sick. I am having the week off and using it to get a grip. Yesterday i did nothing very much, had a lie in, a long bath as oppposed to a very quick shower. Listed more stuff and posted my sales from the weekend, applied to transfer my paypal money and made a to do list. I have approached the managment company of our flat as our service charges keep going up when we bought the flat (almost 6 years ago) the service charge was £15 per month it is now £67 which i think is ridiculious. I have complained as the central heating in the hall and landing is like a sauna,and we are paying for that. Also will be able to finish in total one of the credit cards due to ebay and the extra hours ive done over the last few weeks. Finally i am not going to do any more babysitting (except for the bookings i already have) I am really trying to sort this out, we do love each other and i just want to feel that everything will be ok. Thank you for listening i am very grateful. I think that you are probably right,that a lot of men seem to do this but i'm struggling to accept that in this case(suppose its always different when it involves you) i will try. our relationship is worth fighting for and i will do it.

EagerLearner

Demonlawyer wrote:

Looking at !!!!!! should probably be encouraged or at least tell him it's ok.

Eh???? 'Encouraged'?

Glancing at a page 3 girl is unavoidable... but in my mind - if you trust eachother then that means a woman can also trust a guy to get all he needs from her - not look at !!!!!!. Past the age of 21, looking at !!!!!! is seedy particularly when he has a partner. UNLESS they both agree and get something out of it together.

Noticing it on a page 3 is very different to sitting at his pc oggling !!!!!! - eugh._pale_

Phoenix79_2

EagerLearner wrote:

E Past the age of 21, looking at !!!!!! is seedy particularly when he has a partner. UNLESS they both agree and get something out of it together.

Noticing it on a page 3 is very different to sitting at his pc oggling !!!!!! - eugh._pale_

What rubbish!

There is nothing wrong with !!!!!!.....and no, i don't sit at my laptop all day looking at it! :rotfl: I'm more likely to be on this website looking at ways to save money!

anniestar

You sound a lot more positive and far happier, which is great. I think it's really important to keep talking and do try to make time for eachother. I can't believe that i'm about to say this but even though debt repayment/clearence is VERY important your relationship is every bit as important(more so actully). Work at it and you will be fine. Good luck. p.s. I didn't ever think that your post was a wind up!