Advice please-dodgy husband alert

oakdale_minx

I read this as whilst you are out working all hours pulling together whatever you can here and there, he is not only sitting at home doing nothing, he is sitting at home looking at 'fit' ladies wrestling. It seems to be a cry of 'its not fair' and I do have sympathywith you.

At least if he is viewing it online there is no charge (or is htere?) Maxim etc would eat away at the pennies.

Scarlett1

rjm2k1 wrote:

I think this is a troll, given the 1 post, however ..

If I were your husband, you would have your own logon to that computer so you couldn't spy on me. How about some trust? Does he checkup on what you do in your private time?

why is this woman a troll

I think you are missing the point, what the op is saying is that whilst she is working slugging her guts out to pay off their debts, a huge chunk being her partners student loan, he is in fact at home looking at a bit of soft !!!!!! :mad:

Bit of a kick in the teeth for her really, I would be inclinded to divide the debts and let him lay in his own !!!!!!

KittyKate

Well, I see the bigger picture too. If my OH sat at home staring at girls on the PC whilst I worked 3 jobs, I'd be p!ssed off too.

I'd have a heart to heart with him. If he can't see your point then does he care about you? Why should you pay off more than he does, I'm assuming it is shared debt? How is he with you?

There's more to leaving someone than a few rude sites. But the bigger issue of the debt is something you need to tackle.

Norfolk_Jim

There are some "amateur" wrestling sites out there that would frankly turn most peoples guts. While WWF and co are a soap opera !!! circus ( I enjoy and amire their gymnastic ability but not their acting ability), these sites do the stuff for real, barbed wire rings, tin tacs on the floor, very bloody affairs often organised by younger fans, filmed and put out on the net.
Just in case anyone was wondering whats so iffy about a wrestling web site, its just possible that these are the kinds being referred to.

(Amazed that the sites computer has censored my completely legitimate use of the word !!! - but I guess you'll never know what it is unless this link works - No its sensored that out too! I only tried to post a link to a dictionary where the words definition could be found - I give up)

richardvc

Without wishing to be insensitive I cannot see what's wrong with a wrestling site ? (or is it naked women wrestling?) I am a rugby playing bloke by the way so may be missing the point completely and apologise accordingly.

I am sure that I will be put right, chastised etc etc in due course !!

Good luck whybotheranymore and I hope you get it sorted.

richardvc backs off looking rather nervous !!

jazzyjustlaw

richardvc wrote:

Without wishing to be insensitive I cannot see what's wrong with a wrestling site ? (or is it naked women wrestling?) I am a rugby playing bloke by the way so may be missing the point completely and apologise accordingly.

I am sure that I will be put right, chastised etc etc in due course !!

Good luck whybotheranymore and I hope you get it sorted.

richardvc backs off looking rather nervous !!

Id watch rugby if the men were naked - lol - joke well no joke i would"!!

wifeforlife

I think the issue is that you resent him for not being more pro active in helping combat your debt. With regards to the sites he's visiting, I wouldnt worry about it, maybe he wanted to tell you and felt he couldnt after your reaction to finding it last time. I think your picking up on it as you dont feel you can tell him honestly to pull his finger out! Chin up though, your obviously doing really well combating your debt

Cath

anniestar

Hi hun, welcome to the site you will find very helpful and supportive people here. It seems to me that the issue is not WHAT he is watching but the fact that there seems to be a lack of trust and the ability to share things. My DH has been seriously ill over the past few years and I feel that our ability to communicate is what helped us to survive the *bad times* TALK really talk, to him. you say he is a good man, well give him the chance to prove it to you. If you really love him then leaving because hes been watching things that you don't totally agree with is in my opionion a total non starter. Regarding your debts TALK to him I assume they are in the main joint debts? If that is the case why can't he do another job, work overtime or something that takes the pressure off you a bit.Every relationship has up's and down's, debt NEVER helps, but talking ALWAYS helps. Good luck.

Demonlawyer

Frankly I think he should be more worried than you.

Like the guys and girls above say, most men like !!!!!!. My biology teacher (decades ago!) explained it that women have a natural desire to find a mate and keep him and men have a natural desire to mate as many women - survival of the species and all that.

Looking at !!!!!! should probably be encouraged or at least tell him it's ok. Otherwise you get the situation you're in now - he does it behind your back to not upset you but you are the one who wants to spy on him and gather evidence to use to leave him. It sounds like you're the one with trust issues, not him. In fact, you've put him in this situation in the first place by telling him it's wrong (when he's just a bloke).

Like the others say, he isn't sleeping around. In all things - not just sex - men like to see things and women like to feel them. Which is why when you go to the pub it's usually men at the gambling machines with all the lights and buttons. This is why a lot of women aren't turn on by !!!!!!, but if it arouses him you can both play out fantasies together and you never know, it might lead to great sex.

Whatever you do, don't start spying on him. When you both have to lie to each other to keep the other happy, well that's not a good place to be in.

PabloNeruda

Melly31 wrote:

But i feel that !!!!!! is for young boys, single blokes, old blokes & blokes who ain't/can't get it anywhere else!.

Absolute rubbish.

I look at !!!!!! and I get plenty of 'it' too.