School Dilemma

Crispy_Ambulance

I went to private school and would never send my children to one. The snobbery was horrible, the whole ethos was "keep up or get out" and the curriculum very limited compared to other schools. It gets good exam results and is very selective, but nobody I know who went there had a great time.

I was a scholarship kid and was always conscious of our lack of wealth compared to the others.

Before you cripple yourself to pay the fees, think about the impact on your other kids - if you sacrifice to pay for him, you owe it to pay for them as well. And children will resent the whole family missing out so that one of them could go to a private school.

Also, what exactly will you be getting for your money? Many private schools are no better and in fact often worse than state schools. Wouldn't the £10K a year or so be better spent on activities for all the children - trips, clubs, etc?

ftbworried

Our friends daughter is now at the same school and the duke of edingburgh award scheme trip before christmas is costing £600.

I went to a state school (infact one that is now being run by ofsted and on the verge of being closed down) and the 2nd year skiing trip cost more than this. There are expensive school trips in ANY school.

Prudent

I went to both private and state schools and was much happier ta the state schools. I learnt better in them because it was a more relaxed and happy environment with none of the stress put on by private schools to whom results mean more business.

welshnoonoo

Oh blimey - I so many differing views - I went to state school, but lived in Private Schools as my parents worked in them. My 3 siblings went to private school. My comprehensive was awful, awful, awful! The local comp here is the one my daughter attends, and she is doing ok, so it is not the end of the world if he doesn't get a scholarship, or we decide we can't afford to send him, but I am pretty sure it is not as good as the school in question.

Still waiting to hear if he has been awarded the sports scholarship...............

ruthyjo

Welshnoonoo - you know your own child and you've seen the school you're considering sending him to. I think if you feel it will suit him it probably will. When I moved my sons I knew DS1 would thrive and love it and DS2 would be more ambivalent but ok. This has proved to be exactly the case.

I went to an independent school. My parents were reasonably well off (they had to be to send four of us at once) but not massively wealthy. Perhaps I am naive but I was never conscious of being worse off than anyone else the whole way through. There was !!!!!iness (it was an all female environment after all) but never ever over money - I think most people would have considered it terribly common to even talk about it! I'm sure it will be even less likely to be an issue at a boys school. The pecking order where my sons go to school seems to be based around sport so if your son is good as you say I expect he'll be accepted without question.

The only people I've ever experienced being snotty about money or where children go to school have been in the state sector or possibly sending their children to non selective private schools.

welshnoonoo

Hi Ruthjoy and thanks - very valid points. I am anxiously awaiting a letter from the school in question and we learnt last night that my Son has been accepted into the county Rugby Squad so he is a very happy boy!

welshnoonoo

rev229 wrote:

I am also in a very similar postion, my dd has ASD and epilepsy and is currently at mainstream school however like your ds is in year 3 and personally I don't think it is working. The SENCO seems totally unaware of her job and I really don't think wants to be bothered with a child with complex needs. She is due to go to middle school in yr 5 and we were hoping to continue where she is until then but it is very stressful as I am sure you understand. She is happy where she is, but I am certain she is not getting the supervision she requires. I am full of mixed feeling If I knew for certain she would be better at a special school. Or I could fing one I am happy with then I would sent her. I do think special needs kids and parents get a poor deal from mainstream schools.

What a worry for you - have you been to look at a private school near you?

Just as an update - I have spoken to the school in question today and they are going to be offering DS the opportunity to sit the entrance exam in February to see if we can get an all round scholarship so we will just have to wait and see what happens after that. Waiting ................ not what I am best at!

Rikki

funky-footprints wrote:

Our friends daughter is now at the same school and the duke of edingburgh award scheme trip before christmas is costing £600.

My son is at a private school and has just done his Duke of Edinburgh Gold and I didn't pay £600.

The other parents and children don't know who pays what at a private school unless you tell them.

Rikki

welshnoonoo wrote:

What a worry for you - have you been to look at a private school near you?

Just as an update - I have spoken to the school in question today and they are going to be offering DS the opportunity to sit the entrance exam in February to see if we can get an all round scholarship so we will just have to wait and see what happens after that. Waiting ................ not what I am best at!

Even if your son doesn't get offered a scholarship or doesn't want to take the scholarship route, you can sit the common entrance exam. If you get top marks in this you can get bursaries.
There is more than one way to get assistance from the school.

ruthyjo

Welshnoonoo - if your son is going to sit the entrance exam might be worth getting him ready for it a bit. When my sons took their entrance exams (and this was only at junior school level) it was quite a gruelling day. They were there all day and took loads of different papers. I'd prepared them in advance by talking about exam technique, planning for English work etc and doing some past papers with them to practise these and other skills.

I think they would have been thrown if I hadn't done this because it was very different from anything they'd experienced before. I remember DS2 saying one little boy didn't write anything on any of his papers all day - what a miserable day that poor boy must have had.

I used past papers obtained from that school and a few others and also bought a few KS2 SATs papers. I think a lot of schools put an emphasis on verbal and non verbal reasoning papers as a good means of judging how well children will do so it's worth getting those too.