How do I get ready/expalin that we are moving to my daughter

Motherof1

Hi everyone, I thought I would post this problem here in the hope that a lot of you who been through a seperation will advise.

To cut a very long story short myself and my 3yr old daughter are moving out of the home we share with my husband. I couldn't afford to stay here because of the mortgage, well at long last I found somewhere. We are due to move into our new place next Saturday.

I have got used to the idea that we won't be together anymore as a family but I was wondering how do you or can you prepare a small child for this sort of thing? What I am trying to say is that she is used to seeing her father everyday. I'm worried how long she will take to adjust to our new life as well.

I have tried to explain to her that next week we will be moving to another house and that she will come and live with me. Sometimes she says things like 'lets live here' or I want to live with you and daddy. This makes me very sad because the last thing I want to do is upset her. I don't want her growing up resenting me for doing this. The constant arguing in my current home is beyond control and at the same time I don't want her in the middle of that.

I know everyones circumstances for moving are different...but I also want to know what sort of things you took with you except for clothes and toiletries etc....I can't afford a washing machine and have had no luck finding a second hand one but my husand wants to keep this one in the house.....any advice in this area? I mean I know what I need to get by on but I don't know how to get through to a man who just doesn't understand!

Hope I didn't put you to sleep with this long post : )

tomstickland

Best of luck through a difficult time. On the washing machine,keep looking in the local paper, shop windows. Take a look on findit.co.uk, adtrader.co.uk and freecycle.

inkie

try freecycle.org for the washing machine. with regard to other things it will depend upon what's already inthe flat and what you need. I would say that anything that you need out of your current home, you should really get priority of over hubby as there are 2 of you, one of you being a small child.

victory

I agree,surely your H must understand you need all the white goods to have with you and your little one, his life remains easy if he has the house and all the contents, H does not have to move or look out for items to buy. Make H understand it is imperative you take it. Good luck with the future xxx

kit

I agee with inkie. You have a young child living with you so you should get priority for items from the house.... especially something like a washing machine.

Scarlett1

Motherof1 what will happen with regards to the house once you move out, is the property being sold or will your husband be giving you a lump sump ?

I think it would be better for you to stay in the house, seems like your husband will be sitting pretty whilst you are having to start from scratch

Take a trip to CAB for a chat, you can probably be entitled to stay in the property and come to some kind of arrangement with regards to the mortgage.

xxx

Motherof1

Scarlett1, I have got an appointment with a solicitor but it's only on 24 November...where I live there is waiting lists for absolutely everything! We are lucky that we have double of some things so I will have some furniture. It's just that I think a washing machine is an essential but until I know what my finances will be like I will have to wash by hand unfortunately. Will probably have to do this everyday to keep ontop of it. I have been given estimates from tax credits but they cant confirm exactly until I'm not living here anymore.

The house won't be sold for now as we only bought it in February. My husband will be staying in the property for now.

Will keep you updated though.

Thanks X

ailuro2

if you have enough clothes save them up and go to the launderette?

Tell your daughter that you will have a special house just for you girlies, but she can see Daddy very often still. Mentioning she can choose a colour for her new bedroom might help make it real to her.

Motherof1

Thanks everybody for your replies. I'm getting nervous now as this time next week I will be in my new home. I just have to pay the 1st months rent and deposit...

I have taken on board all your very helpful advice and I hope that we will be very happy....

Next thing is to get my confidence back and take my driving test again! I drive well but when it comes to the actual test my heart starts pounding and I have butterflies in my stomach!

Cheers

Savvy_Sue

Can't give a specific recommendation, but I bet there'll be some books in the library about moving house, suitable for youngsters. Or if she goes to nursery or anywhere like that, see if they've got anything suitable to help her.

Good luck!

rls1973

Motherof1 wrote:

Thanks everybody for your replies. I'm getting nervous now as this time next week I will be in my new home. I just have to pay the 1st months rent and deposit...

I have taken on board all your very helpful advice and I hope that we will be very happy....

Next thing is to get my confidence back and take my driving test again! I drive well but when it comes to the actual test my heart starts pounding and I have butterflies in my stomach!

---

i once read in a self-help book that when you feel those butterflies and heart pounding etc., you tell yourself it's not nerves or fear - that's excitement because you're about to pass your test!

people on these boards will be thinking of you in your new home, hoping it all goes well for you.

:A