Wedding or Buy a House?

martinsgirl_2

What should I be saving for first - a house or a wedding? I thought we should go for the house, but other people reckon once we buy a house we won't have so much free money to save towards a wedding. Any suggestions?

Sorry if this isn't the best forum, wasn't quite sure which one was best for my question!

skint-student-nurse

My OH and had exactly the same dilemma - he owns a flat atm but its not big enough so weve decided to save for a house before we get married. were saving everything we can and figured that if we can save a fair amount of money once,then we can do it again

Loughton_Monkey

If you choose to pose such a question on the 'Savings and Investment' forum, then expect to get rational answers rather than emotional ones!

If we forget, for a moment, the distinction between 'savings' and 'investment' and call them both 'investment', then putting money aside for a wedding is nothing of the sort. It is a sort of temporary 'provisioning' to supply short term funds for a specific purpose - car, holiday, wedding etc.

Putting money away, though, to buy property - albeit that the money goes initially into a 'savings account' - thence into a deposit on a house - is a true 'investment'. And like any investment, generally speaking, the earlier you start, the more and quicker it will grow.

By all means, if marriage is important, then 'provision' for the wedding first, but that is simply delaying any form of 'investment' (as I define). You can also find lots of other ways to delay 'investing' - like 'saving' for cars, for a baby, or ultimately a divorce. But in later life, as for most people, you will probably regret not having invested much more, and much earlier.

NotACleverName

I would say house first, maybe wedding later.

I would also say you don't have to save for a wedding. Ok, we all like the idealistic wedding scenario (don't we? lol) but really, is spending thousands on ONE DAY a good thing to do?

I got married in my sisters hand-me-down dress. My Uncle drove me to the church in his car. Bridesmaids dresses and flowers were done on a shoestring budget.

Maybe with careful planning you can have both the house and the wedding???. Good luck!

pinkteapot

Set out the budget for each. For the wedding, get an idea of what sort of budget you want for the type of day you want. For the house, work out how much you need for a deposit, fees, moving costs, furniture/new white goods etc etc. List everything out and tot up the up-front cost.

Do a monthly budget for after you buy the house. What will your mortgage repayments be? How much will council tax, utilities etc increase? You can estimate by asking friends with similar properties or on the House Buying board here. You will then be able to see how much spare cash you'll have each month once you own. Your friends are right about one thing though - houses are a money pit when you first buy them so make the assumption that you'll save less each month than you think! See how long the wedding would take to save for if you do decide to go for the house first.

Setting aside the money issue, how urgent is the house? Where do you live at the moment, how long can you see yourself happy there, etc. How do you feel about the wedding? If you're both itching to get married and the living conditions are ok, prioritise that.

We did it the fun way - after looking for a house for 18 months an absolutely perfect one came on the market shortly before our wedding. We exchanged contracts the day before our wedding which was June 2010 and moved in to the house in August. Expensive summer. :rotfl:

martinsgirl_2

Thanks for the replies

I had always planned to buy a house first, but I just got engaged so I've got a bit excited about the idea of a wedding! I don't want a really expensive wedding, so shouldn't take too long to save but we think it will take 2 or 3 years to get enough for a house deposit so that will probably take priority for now. We are renting just now which is fine but I would prefer to be paying off a mortgage rather than just giving the landlord money every month.

Neither will be happening for a while though as my savings took a big hit this year to pay for my postgrad year at uni. Hopefully won't take too long to build them back up though!

jimjames

There's no reason not to do both. Getting married doesn't need to cost £20k. What is more romantic, spending thousands on a day for everyone else that stops you being able to get your own place or register office with your closest that costs you the marriage licence fee?

6022tivo

Weddings can cost as little as £100. If you love each other, that is all you need. Save and spend on something to build your future.

Premier inns do full marriages, room, clothes, buffet for £199

http://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/wedding-package-deal-199-premier-in/760124

http://www.premierinn.com/en/news/news_category/premier-inn-wedding-package-121.html

Special_Saver2

Plus you can get your friends and family to pay for your honeymoon! My friends have recently done this using allaboutourwedding.com (which directs guests to your wedding list on senduspacking.com ). This allows you to have a nice looking online wedding list where your guests effectively end up giving you cash via PayPal to pay for your honeymoon.

Eco_Miser

I don't understand the question - you just save! Your priorities may change before you get round to spending anyway.

Ideally:

• Buy the house
• Get married
• Move in

nrsql

Neither maybe
If you don't get married and that's important to one of you could mean that in the near future you won't need a bigger house.
If you don't get a bigger house then that could put pressure on the relationship and you won't need to save for a marriage.

It's not totally flippant - you have to decide what's important. Are you reasonably happy living where you are? Are you reasonably happy not being married (consider relatives and friends too)? How long are you prepared to put up with both?
You don't have to decide which you are saving for at the moment - and I would say that if you aren't sure wait until you are, I think that's what the question is really about. Could be that you end up waiting until you have enough to do both.