Helping out family members

sarahsarah

JackieO wrote: »

When I was a little girl just after the war my Mums sister who lived in New Jersey used to send us 'food parcels' of stuff we couldn't get over here because of rationing and it was so exciting to get these as you never knew what was going to arrive.Once we had some tins of pineapple and I thought I had died and gone to heaven as I had never tasted it before .We also had some little tins of Heinx baby apple purree which as we couldn't get a pork joint as there were so many shortages my Mum insisted we use as a spread on toast instead of jam It was revolting but we ate it as if your hungry you will eat anything.But when my children were babies I never ever gave them heinz apple from a tin it reminded me too much of eating this mush on toast as a little girl :) My auntie used to stuff every tiny space with bits and my Mum had her first pair of nylons from the U.S. and she was so pleased she sat and cried just looking at them.They were like gold dust to get hold of and she only wore them on high days and holidays and kept them for a very long time wrapped in tissue paper. Us kids got the cartoons from the american newspapers that she had used to wrap things in and my brother used to swap them for things at school as english newspapaer didn't have coloured cartoons in those days She would also put in some Marvel Superman comics I bet they would be worth something today.

I just have to say JackieO I LOVE reading all your stories that you post. I always look out for your posts as they always make me smile :-)

ubamother

I like the "I've made too much of this" route. If they have children you could also buy the kids some things "this was in the sale for practically no money and I couldn't resist getting it for xxx" As you said they are pretty OS - is there something they don't have that would help on this lines - garden fork, steamer etc. Do they know you are an OSer? If you grow your own and they know you do, you could go halves on seed packets - very few people I know use every seed in the packet for many vegetables, or share the harvest so you each only have to buy half the seed - you buy carrot seeds, they buy beans etc.

Penelope_Penguin

BabyJayne wrote: »

Hi, I am not too sure if this is the right board to post on so please feel free to move!

I have recently found out that some of my family members are experiencing financial diffuclties at the moment and in the coming year I think it will get worse.

I would be grateful for any help / suggestions on how to go about 'helping' in a covert way!

What a generous thought :A I think you'll get more replies on the Families Board, so I'll move this over.

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

BabyJayne

Thank you to all of your replies, they are very much appreciated. I love the idea of giving them the bogofs and that wont make any difference to my shopping budget either!
I love baking so I don't they would be suspicious of me making too much, they would however be wondering why i've gone on such an extreme diet as i usually manage to polish everything off lol
For their christmas present I put together a veggie gardening hamper with gardening tools, seeds, pots etc so may continue this for their birthdays / special occasions.

don't want to think I am interfering at all or feel too proud to accept any gifts but I am grateful that I can help them out in this way.
Thanks again for al your replies!

Habibiboo

Hello, lovely idea.
You could also make jams, marmalades, chutneys etc and pass them on in the "please take 'em off my hands" vein! These are usually accepted easily as people tend to think that you haven't had to spend out on them (and if you've been canny about it, it probably hasn't cost you much more than time and sugar anyway)!

babyshoes

If you have access to somewhere like Costco or Makro, you could do some bulk buying, and then split the pack and give them half (or more!) - same sort of concept as giving them the bogof extras. My friends and I do this sort of thing anyway, even when we aren't hard up! Things like fresh veg works well where you might say 'I bought a giant bag of potatoes/tomatoes/peppers/etc coz they were cheap, but we aren't going to finish them before they go off/don't have space to store all of them/the freezer was fuller than I thought/etc - do you want some of them?'

I also like the idea of taking a treat to share when you go round and making sure you take a lot, so you can leave the extra when you leave - something like a giant cake of which you will have one slice, or a big box of hm biscuits.

There is also the 'I have these vouchers for a store I probably won't shop in/things I don't buy but you might, do you want them?'

We also give away food gifts we have been given but don't particularly like, after checking if the other person does like that particular flavour etc. 'Do you like X, we have been given some but don't really like it, do you want it?'

Eenymeeny

What a kind thought! I know that I've been on both ends of this and was so grateful when the in-laws used to bring a cake to have with our tea as I was too embarassed to let them know that I didn't have a biscuit in the house. Later, when my hard-up son had left home and called for his tea once a week, I used to give him a carrier bag with things like eggs, rice, pasta and potatoes in. He wasn't so proud and used to say that he could live for a week on baked potatoes if neccesary!
How about introducing them to some OS money saving products like vinegar, soda crystals, stardrops etc, using the bogof idea or asking them to try them and let you know what they think of them? It would be a kind of double gift if they save money on future spending.:)
Probably the best thing you can do for them is to introduce them to MSE!:)

Patchwork_Quilt

DD and I are always very grateful when my SIL sends bin bags full of clothes she has finished with.

Swapping books is another good idea.

Can you do a skills swap?

adelight

A few months ago my OH's mum invited us over for sunday dinner and made far too much, we were sent back with leftovers worth another meal for us both and choc puds she'd bought in a big pack but insisted she couldn't eat in time so we had to take them She knew he was feeling the pinch.
You could do similar, or do a big spread and send them off with lots of cold meat, a bit of cake and a bottle of bleach you got on bogof. My nan always used to give my mum stuff she got on bogof, my nan's a bit of a special offer addict

rosie383

Can I just say a BIG thank you to the OP. This has maybe given some of us food for thought. I know there are friends who are struggling a bit, and that I haven't helped really, so this has given me lots of ideas to use my time and my resources a bit better. Usually I have helped out when I know people are in very difficult financial straits, but even if there are some who are just in a little difficulty, we can all make maybe a wee bit more effort now and again.